men Page 255 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: <em>Football Manager</em>'s Banned Names
From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reas...
We Improved A Billy Joel Song By Replacing Him With Jay-Z
We all know that Billy Joel sucks (especially lately), but as SB Nation's Spencer Hall recently noted, there's a portion of nearly every one of his songs that's really great. (You can usually blame Joel's rock-solid rhythm section of Liberty DeVitto and Doug Stegmeyer for that.) ...
Luis Suárez, On Chronic Biting: At Least I Never Bit Anyone's Ear Off!
You have to give it to Luis Suárez for at least one thing: the guy is not afraid to be honest, even if it makes him sound like a crazy man defending his own sanity. Judging from some excerpts in Sport from his new autobiography, the book is nowhere near the typical athlete's mid-career hagiography....
Angelo Badalamenti Seems Like A Nice Guy
I guess I had always assumed Angelo Badalamenti was some awfully hip, overeducated Italian in an expensive turtleneck, some godson of Antonioni, who applied a sort of smug, cynical viewing of American soap operas when composing the theme music for "Twin Peaks." But nah! He's a cool old dude from B...
Don't Worry, DeMarcus Cousins, Omri Casspi Has Your Back
A good friend always makes sure his buddy's headband situation is tight. Here, allow Omri Casspi to demonstrate:...
Junior Hockey Players Suspended For Saying Awful Things On Tinder
Jake Marchment, a Kings 6th-round draft pick, and Greg Betzold, both of the Ontario Hockey League, were suspended 15 games each by the league Wednesday. From the official statement: ...
<em>The Basement Tapes Complete</em> Gives You All The Bob Dylan You Can Stand
Chronology imposes narrative when all else fails. So thank the tape-crawlers who've assembled Bob Dylan and the Band's The Basement Tapes Complete, the 11th volume of The Bootleg Series, Dylan and Sony Music's shrewd posterity-burnishing enterprise, for putting the thing together in as close to prop...
Kings And Nuggets Present A Very Special Triple Flop
DeMarcus Cousins, Rudy Gay, Kenneth Faried, let's see what you've got:...
This Set Play From The Clippers Is Beautiful And Unfair
The Clippers lost to the Kings 98-92 yesterday, but they came out ahead on style points after running one of the prettiest plays of the young season late in the fourth quarter....
Sacramento Kings Deny Dealings With Disgraced Wingnut Dinesh D'Souza
Disgraced '80s relic/wingnut Dinesh D'Souza, having pleaded guilty to violating federal campaign finance law, is currently living in a halfway house as part of his probation. This probably makes it difficult to promote his new movie, America: Imagine the World Without Her, which one reviewer describ...
The Kings Introduced The Warriors With The <em>Full House</em> Theme
Visiting teams are used to getting booed during the introductions of their starting lineups. So maybe, the Sacramento arena crew figured, they might be thrown off by getting laughed at. At Wednesday's opener, they cued up the Full House theme music to welcome the Bay Area squad....
Report: Kings Owner Pitched A 4-On-5 Defense With One Cherrypicker
If you're a basketball fan, you've probably already read Zach Lowe's tiered NBA rankings. If you're not, toward the bottom there's an aside about a wonderfully wackadoo bit of proposed strategy that might turn you into a fan....
Minor League Hockey Player Suffers Gruesome Cut From Skate
Saturday night's game between the Peoria Rivermen and the Huntsville Havoc of the Southern Professional Hockey League had to be suspended after a player suffered a horrific injury....
And Now, Your Most Horrifying Stories Of Being Caught Masturbating
I'm gonna tell the Price Is Right story now, because I don't think I've ever told it in full, so here goes (deep breath): I had just transferred to a new college, and my roommate was a year ahead of me. Football player. Perfectly nice dude. We weren't buddy buddies, but we managed to co-exist ami...
World Boxing Council Shortens Female Matches Because Of Periods
The World Boxing Council recently issued a statement to the effect that it would no longer sanction any fight between female boxers that is scheduled to go longer than 10 rounds or any bout with rounds lasting longer than two minutes. Part of the reason they have made this decision is because ladies...
Peyton Manning Throws 509th Career TD Pass, Sets NFL Record
Peyton Manning is the new NFL touchdown pass king after his eight-yard pass to Demaryius Thomas put the Broncos up 21-3 tonight against the 49ers. Watch the ceremony above—complete with keep-away— and the record-setting pass below....
Alex Morgan Out Of World Cup Qualifying After This Nasty Ankle Injury
Alex Morgan will miss the rest of the USWNT's World Cup qualifying matches because of a sprained ankle she picked up during Thursday's game against Guatemala. It's an unfortunate set-back for a player with a history of ankle injuries, but thankfully it doesn't look as serious as it could've been....
How To Store Glassware: A Celebration Of Strong-Ass Opinions
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here periodically to answer your filthiest questions....