men Page 308 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Astros Owner Open To Signing Roger Clemens, But Doesn't Want It To Be A "Publicity Stunt"
You have to give the Astros credit. If they're going to go through with this Roger Clemens cahoots-laden charade, they're going to try and squeeze every last revenue dollar out of it....

The Baseball Hall Of Fame Probably Wouldn't Change The Rules If Roger Clemens Pitched A Meaningless Game This Year
Yesterday we half-floated a conspiracy theory that Roger Clemens's impending comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters was a sneaky ploy to reappear in a major league game for the woeful Astros so that he might push his first hall of fame ballot appearance back five years, to 2017. So we reached out to ...

How to Not Look Like a Slob at Dinner
Welcome to A Gentleman's Quest for the Perfect Night Out, a four-part guide written by etiquette expert John Bridges meant to instruct our more testosteroney readers on how to comport themselves during the evening hours. With the help of Clear Men Scalp Therapy, which gives you 100% dandruff protec...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

Roger Clemens And The Astros Might Just Be In Cahoots
The Astros have a lot of problems. Have you seen the lineup they're running out there every night? It's Jose Altuve, Brett Wallace, and then a lot of quadruple-A players with no business sniffing a big-league starting lineup. Need Justin Maxwell? Astros got him. Need Scott Moore? He's a 'Stro. Wonde...

Vlade Divac Says Novak Djokovic Destroyed His Racquets With A Saw After The Olympics
That's according to Drop Shot Dispatch, which translated a report from Vesti Online. Divac, the former NBA player, is now the president of the Serbian Olympic Committee. He was critical of the performance of Serbia's athletes at the recent Olympics, though he did exempt swimmer Milorad Cavic and Djo...

Why Should We Care About Concussions When NFL Players Don't?
At a June roundtable event in New York City hosted by PACE, an education program sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods, former New York Giants linebacker Carl Banks told a haunting story about the culture of the NFL in the 1980s....

What Is Known Misogynist Donald Trump Doing In This Ad For Women's Tennis?
Today, the Women's Tennis Association (WTA) released yet another "Strong is Beautiful" video featuring several relatively famous people who have nothing whatsoever to do with tennis talking about tennis. One of those people just so happened to be Donald Trump, the reigning expert on which women ar...

Clinton Portis, Coach Janky Spanky, Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, Dolla Bill, Dr. Do Itch Big, Bro Sweets, Prime Minister Yah Mon, Bud Foxx, Coconut Jones, And Choo-Choo All Announce Their NFL Retirements
Clinton Portis, who last played through an injury-plagued year in 2010, will officially announce his retirement Thursday at a news conference at Redskins Park. Portis was fabulous for the better part of seven seasons in Denver and Washington, but his legacy might suffer from the fact that he played ...

Nothing Better Illustrates The Futility Of Replacement Refs Than This Video Of One Being Hit By A Football
Jerry Frump wore the white hat for last night's Patriots-Eagles preseason game, and like all of this year's replacement-refereed games it was a bit of a disaster for the zebras. While players openly voice concern for their health in games managed by scabs, the NFL seems perfectly content to head i...

Michele Smith Became The First Female Analyst For A National Baseball Broadcast Yesterday. Here's How Viewers Reacted.
TBS broke unprecedented ground Sunday when they put analyst Michele Smith in the booth alongside Ernie Johnson and John Smoltz for their broadcast of the Dodgers-Braves game. It's the first time a woman has ever served in the commentary role for a national MLB broadcast, and is one of a handful of ...

Roger Clemens Is Going To Play Professional Baseball Again
Roger Clemens hasn't pitched since 2007. Probably because he's old and fat and toxic. But just two months removed from a pointless perjury trial, Clemens thinks he still has enough in the tank to take the mound—and the Sugar Land Skeeters think he's enough of a draw to offer a contract....

Rich Old Cracker Says Incompetent Woman Can Play Golf At His Stupid Club
I am a man. I woke up feeling great about myself today, but I didn't know why. Now I totally do!...

Umpires Still Blow Call After Consulting With Each Other And That Is OK
Mark Reynolds and Buck Showalter were ejected in the fifth inning last night's game against the Tigers in Detroit. Reynolds was tossed after disputing a call reversal and Showalter for backing up his player....

Discussion Discussion: Surrounded By Assholes
If you've read our previous Discussion Discussions, or the Comment Of The Fortnight-Ish columns before those, by now you're likely familiar with how they work: we artfully (we hope) and circuitously (uh, yeah) lay out an argument for how best to conduct oneself down there, and hopefully by the end y...

Cockblocked By Pot Brownies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Horrible New Uniforms Mean Notre Dame Can Finally Compete With The Marylands Of The World
Here, courtesy reader @bobbyleecoy, are the uniforms Notre Dame will wear when the Fighting Irish lose to Miami in Chicago on Oct. 6. And while I'm a Notre Dame hater like the rest of you, even I can't begin to process the sartorial insult these things are to the school's decaying football tradition...

Four Umpires, And Not One Knows The Count
Yes, the job of the men in blue can sometimes be a dangerous one. But most of the time, the gig is just a matter of calling what they see, while also keeping track of exactly where everything stands. Simple, right? Well, things got a bit confusing for all involved during Carlos Lee's ordinary at-bat...

Mike Pereira, Who Hates The NFL's Replacement Refs, Used To Be A Backup Replacement Ref
Mike Pereira has been so outspoken in his role as the NFL's hall monitor for Fox Sports that even Bill Belichick is outsourcing his opinion of replacement officials to him. And if the early returns are any indication, the scabs are indeed going to be a disaster. But remember: Pereira used to work fo...

Big East Conference Drops Last Pretense, Hires TV Executive As Commissioner
The Big East hired Mike Aresco to be its commissioner yesterday. Here are actual quotes from the presidents of two of the league's member schools, from the statement announcing the decision:...