men Page 354 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: The Reporter Who Asked Brett Favre About His Wang
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Brian Costello of the New York Post. If Brett Favre furnished us with his cock, then Costello rounded things out with an enormous set of balls....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
Fall Is Here So Groom Yourself, For God's Sake
Dude, no one's buying the "bangin'" scraggle you grew at Burning Man. It's back to school for you and your facial hair! Craft your perfect fall stubble or beard (from 1/64" up to 23/32") with the Philips Norelco Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro....
Dæmon Babies and Fire-Breathing Beasts (and Breasts) Await
Living in NYC can make you feel like you're surrounded by mythological beasts, sci-fi freaks and fantasy faeries. Take a look into the TV mirror tonight for the season premiere of Comedy Central's animated horror-comedy series, Ugly Americans....
ESPN Producer Caught Beating It Outside A Lady's Window
Win 17 Emmys, and no one calls you "Emmy-winner" Neil Goldberg. Head ESPN's NASCAR coverage, and no one calls you "motorsports guru" Neil Goldberg. But stand on a stool to masturbate to a woman getting dressed just once......
She Got Gam: FIBA Considers Lower Rims, Higher Hems For Women's Basketball
FIBA is considering some changes to international women's basketball, including lowering the rim to bring dunking to the game—finally—as well as new, monocle-fogging uniforms that'll make the sport "more attractive for spectators and media." We've come a long way, baby....
Weekend Winner: The Morons Of The NFL
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Andy Reid, Jim Caldwell and Nate Clements, who proved that of all the metrics and intangibles required for NFL success, having a single goddamned brain cell is most important....
Field Trip: Simmons And Gladwell At The New Yorker Festival, Falling In And Out Of Love
Ever wondered how the chummy love-fest email exchanges between Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons translate when the two meet face-to-face? Well, it's kind of like when a "certain kind of person" meets another "certain kind of person." I'll explain....
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Inadvertent Irish Brawl Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Last Night's Winner: Women
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like female sports fans out there, who are finally getting an ESPN of their very own. Say hello to espnW, coming soon to (maybe) a television near you....
The Fire Joe Morgan Pledge Drive Is Nearing Its Goal
Ken Tremendous checks in: "$4680 has been donated, so our $5000 is right around the corner." Donate in Mike Celizic's memory to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or Sloan-Kettering and send a copy of your receipt to [email protected]....
The Greatest Photo Ever Taken At A Squash Match
The Hartford Courant's Rich Messina snapped this wonderful photo of last year's controversial squash championship, where Trinity's Baset Chaudry knocked off Yale's Kenneth Chan and then proceeded to act like the most vile human being on the planet after his victory....
SportsCenter First Is A Milestone For Attractive, Well-Dressed Female Journalists
At noon today, two female SportsCenter anchors handed the baton off to two other women, a first in the show's long history. Truly this is a monumental day in the long struggle for women's rights....
NFL Superperson Ray Lewis Runs with the Bears. Well, a Bear.
And the bear matches the superperson stride for stride. Then it smiles. Then it talks! Then something blows up. Even though they just ran the length of a football field, the bear and the superperson smell fresh and snappy because of Old Spice Showtime Deodorant....
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: The Saddest Hookup In the World
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Fall Is Here So Groom Yourself, For God's Sake
Dude, no one's buying the "bangin'" scraggle you grew at Burning Man. It's back to school for you and your facial hair! Craft your perfect fall stubble or beard (from 1/64" up to 23/32") with the Philips Norelco Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro....
Thierry Henry Moves Into Heath Ledger’s Old Manor
After months of presumably crashing on friend's sofas and living an Alan Partridge like existence in travel lodges, the good news is that Thierry Henry has finally splashed out on a snazzy New York flat....
And Now A Return To Terrible Normalcy
Good day? Great day. Thanks again to the crew at Fire Joe Morgan for choosing us as their re-reunion destination. It was a joy to read and was enough of a break for me to get really, really pissed about tacos....
Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....