mlb Page 377 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report From The Future: Colby Rasmus Says His Quotes About John Farrell Were Taken Out Of Context
We can probably start a countdown because this will likely be walked back shortly. That's usually what happens when a quote starts "I'm not trying to bash anybody by starting up crap..." and does not end in a period. It's the "but" that gets you....

Alex Rodriguez Only Gave $5,090 Of The $403,862 He Raised For Charity To Charity
The Boston Globe dug through the world of shady athlete charities this week, and while many of their findings were disappointing (if not surprising), we'd be remiss if we didn't highlight one charge in particular. It's been a while since anyone thought Alex Rodriguez was a stand-up guy, but this see...

Twitter Loves The Orlando Magic, Has Never Heard Of The Arizona Cardinals
The Wall Street Journal has helpfully assembled the sort of slow-news-month story that lets you forget that none of the four major sports (five, if you include college football) is playing many meaningful games at the moment. In it, the incomparably named Stu Woo compiled the Twitter follower counts...

Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...

Yet Another Weird Baseball Injury: Elvis Andrus Sits With Tattoo Soreness
Rangers SS Elvis Andrus is not in the lineup today, having been scratched with "Silly Non-Baseball-Related Malady." It's very common, especially in spring training. This particular incidence took the form of muscle soreness, caused by a giant tattoo....

A Kinky Mets Fan's Safe Phrase: "Yankees Rule"
Look, I'm not going to tell you to go read the whole three-page article on BDSM currently featured in The New York Times Fashion & Style section, but I will tell you this: the lede contains the phrase "unmarked entrance to Paddles." I will also leave you with this paragraph:...
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....

Russell Martin Leaves Canada's WBC Team Because They Won't Let Him Play Shortstop
Pirates backstop Russell Martin doesn't want to be a catcher. It's boring. You have to crouch all game. You never get to run around. You rarely get to throw the ball beyond returning it to the pitcher. Rather than getting to enjoy a sunny afternoon on the diamond, you have to spend every moment goin...

One Of The Brewers' Racing Sausages Is Missing
Disaster in Milwaukee: Guido the Italian Sausage, pictured above to the far left, was last seen barhopping in a local suburb the weekend before last, only it's not clear who was wearing the $3,000 costume or where it went....

In An Alternate Universe, MLB Commissioner Hank Aaron Introduced A Salary Cap And Interleague Play In The '80s
Over at Hardball Talk, Craig Calcaterra dug up a gem from the archives. Back in 1983, Bowie Kuhn announced his resignation as commissioner. The very first person to publicly throw their hat in the ring for the job was Hank Aaron, then in the Braves' front office....

The Third Weird Baseball Injury Of 2013: Washington Nationals Pitcher Gio Gonzalez Got Rug Burn On His Forehead From His Dog
Not really sure what else there is to say that hasn't already been said. This is weird, an injury—technically—and it is baseball-related. Oh, and it happened in 2013. While Gio's injury is not all that serious—he was able to make his first start of the spring today and pitched relatively well—no wei...

The Sports Fan: What I Learned From Three Days Of Watching Baseball With Bill Murray
In 1990, Peter Richmond spent three days with Bill Murray in Chicago, eating and drinking and watching ballgames at Wrigley Field. He wrote about the experience for The National Sports Daily. His story was recently republished on Bronx Banter and appears here with permission....

Jeffrey Loria Strikes Back: "It Ain't True, Folks" And Marlins Park Has Won Awards
Jeffrey Loria took out a full page ad in several South Florida newspapers today in an attempt to win the hearts and minds of the six people who haven't quite made up their minds on his wretched franchise. He talks about a lot of things: the unsustainable roster full of major league talent, the World...

Alex Rodriguez's True Yankee-Hood Up For Sale Monday Morning
Alex Rodriguez's 2009 World Series ring will go up for auction tomorrow morning with an initial price tag of $5,000, though Rodriguez is not selling it. Rather, his steroid-mule cousin, Yuri Sucart, sold the ring to an auctioneer for $5,000 and some think the ring could fetch as much as $40,000....

Baseball's Facial Hair Spectrum
This is it. The very least amount of hair a man can be covered in and still considered to have a mustache and the very most amount of hair a man can be covered in and still be counted among those walking upright and having moved on from dwelling in caves....

Journeyman Baseball Player Gets Hurt While "Trying To Be A Gentleman" To A Pitching Machine
On Friday, Casey Kotchman signed a free-agent deal with the Marlins, his seventh team in 10 MLB seasons. He was brought on, at least in part, because Logan Morrison is coming off knee surgery. Only now Kotchman will be out for at least a few days, too. During a drill yesterday, he accidentally ran i...

Dale Murphy Once Got A Lame Autograph From Richard Nixon
Yesterday, former Atlanta Braves star and beloved-by-the-internet old dude Dale Murphy decided to celebrate President's Day by showing his Twitter followers a picture of one of his prized pieces of memorabilia: a baseball with Richard Nixon's autograph on it. The autograph reads, "To Dale Murphy, f...

Luke Scott Hath Slain The Hellboar
Everyone's favorite gun-humping birther, Luke Scott, arrived at the Tampa Bay Rays' spring training facility with a special guest: the stuffed head of a slain hellboar. How did Scott come to claim this bloody prize? By sticking the beast with a spear, of course! Scott told Rays Report that the boar...

Poor Son Of A Bitch Mat Gamel Tore His ACL For The Second Time In Two Years
It super sucks to be Mat Gamel right now. The Milwaukee Brewers' corner infielder, who was at one time a fairly promising prospect, will miss the entire 2013 season after tearing his ACL. Gamel's injury is all the more depressing due to the fact that he just finished a rehab stint after tearing the...

Josh Hamilton Says Dallas Isn't A Baseball Town, "True Baseball Fans" Won't Boo Him When He Returns
Josh Hamilton's in Anaheim now, after five up-and-down seasons in Texas. It was mostly down at the end, as the Rangers choked away the division and bowed out in a one-game playoff, with Hamilton hearing boos down the stretch for his declining numbers. (He blamed it in part on quitting tobacco.)...