mlb Page 417 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Pat Burrell Not Only Danced Shirtless At A Philly Bar, He Left No Tip On A $158 Tab [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg)
Pat Burrell Not Only Danced Shirtless At A Philly Bar, He Left No Tip On A $158 Tab [UPDATED]
Yesterday morning, we put out the call for photographic proof of Pat Burrell dancing shirtless while wearing a blazer the night before at the Pen & Pencil, a Philly press club that legally stays open after-hours, when most of its patrons are bar and restaurant employees just off work. The rumor was ...

Stephen Strasburg and Some Other Guy Hit Back-To-Back Home Runs
Stephen Strasburg went yard this afternoon in the bottom of the fourth against the Baltimore Orioles. It came directly after Jesus Flores hit a home run making it back-to-back (and a belly-to-belly, some might say) home runs. It was Strasburg's first career home run....

Pablo Sandoval Pies CSN Bay Area's Jaymee Sire In The Face
The Giants beat Bay Area rival Oakland yesterday 4-0 and after the game CSN Bay Area's Jaymee Sire was in the clubhouse asking questions and rolling tape. Pablo Sandoval was lurking, however and while poor Jaymee was wise to his plan to get Pagan, she learned the hard way that the Panda is an agil...

"It's Doug, Not Dude": Philly Scribe Kicked Out Of Minor League Complex Twice For Trying To Watch Ryan Howard Rehab
Bob Brookover, a writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer had a tough time this week trying to watch Ryan Howard take batting practice and field ground balls. He was kicked out of the stadium twice while trying to catch a glimpse of Howard. The mantra: "What are you doing here? Spring training is over....

Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....

Was Pat Burrell Dancing Shirtless In A Philly Bar Last Night?
That's the rumor out of Philadelphia this morning and we'd love to hear more information if you've got it. We'd especially love pictures. Delicious, shirtless (with possible blazer combo), dancing pictures....

Calvin Johnson Goes Yard At Comerica Park
Fine, it was during batting practice—if you want to get technical about it—but impressive nonetheless for the Lions freakishly talented wide receiver. According to Johnson his power display was no fluke, he was approached by the Reds while in high school before he committed to Georgia Tech and foot...

Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners
The newspaper headlines make it seem like the Chicago Cubs owner is up to no good. "Cubs Owner Ricketts' Anti-Obama Ad Proposal Risks Stadium Growth." "Report: Emanuel 'livid' with Cubs owner after soliciting Jeremiah Wright attack ad proposal." Sounds like this Mr. Ricketts has really vexed some fo...

Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout
We reported earlier today Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring from baseball, but the oft-injured hurler promised to make one last appearance before hanging up his cleats. That appearance came today, and it was in a legitimate spot; down 3-2 in the eighth, Wood relieved starter Jeff Samardzija and pr...

Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>
A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-d...

MLB Suspends Umpire Bob Davidson For "Repeated Violations Of Situation Handling Standards"
In what's almost certainly a response to his repeated instances of "Fuck You, Charlie" during an incident at Tuesday's Astros-Phillies game, Major League Baseball has suspended umpire Bob Davidson for one game. The press release reads:...

Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...

Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay
Laz Diaz has one of the largest strike zones in baseball. So presumably A's starter Brandon McCarthy thought he was getting a pitcher's umpire. That kinda didn't work out on Elvis Andrus's bunt in the sixth inning, a rare true suicide squeeze....

Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate
Canadian rocker Geddy Lee sat in some primo seats for a recent Blue Jays game, and the living testament to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame's illegitimacy appeared to enjoy himself—if spending a bit too much of the game checking out his text messages....

Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Can't Pay Employees, Bounced A Check To The State
We've been following the sad saga of 38 Studios, Curt Schilling's video company that moved to Rhode Island after receiving a whopping loan from the state. Well, things haven't gone well. They haven't employed the number of people they promised. Their big game isn't close to being on schedule. The st...

Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....
![Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17mxy031xa9hdjpg.jpg)
Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]
A swarm of bees delayed today's Arizona-Colorado game in Denver for several minutes during the top of the fifth inning, as the mass of winged insects invaded the first base line and Rockies' dugout before eventually gathering near a photographers' well on the the right field line....

A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension
Blue Jays infielder Brett Lawrie will sit out the next four games after throwing a tantrum on home plate umpire Bill Miller during the ninth inning of Toronto's game against Tampa Bay. "It took a bad hop and hit him totally by accident," stated Lawrie, who appealed the suspension though he does pla...

Alex Gordon Is The Best Advertisement For Wearing A Cup
For a fan, extra-inning games are only fun when your team wins. I stayed up past midnight for that? Well, how do you think Alex Gordon feels? The Royals took the first-place Orioles to 15 innings, only for Gordon, the game's last batter, to foul one off his little gentlemen. He would subsequently g...

Acrobatic Rays Fan Does Header Onto The Field, But Gets The Foul Ball
Pro tip: If you're going to reach down onto the field of play to scoop up a foul ball, make sure that you have everything on your person securely stowed, so that when you fall over the railing like a boob and everyone gets a good laugh at your bumbling imbalance, it's not also because everything in ...