mlb Page 475 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch Andruw Jones Get Hit With A Bunch Of Onion Rings
Sweet justice for all those Braves and Dodgers fans who watched Jones pork up while on big contracts. And Jones says, "Sweet justice? I wanted sweet relish!" Twins win, 5-4, in extras, after Rafael Soriano and co. offered the first of many delightful late-inning implosions to come this season. [Vi...

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

Former National Still Hiding Out In the Women's Bathroom
That's Josh Willingham camped out on an ad in the ladies' room at Nationals Park, despite having been sent to Oakland in December. He joins Strasburg and Harper as featured team ambassadors who aren't actually on the team. [via DC Sports Bog]...

Hey, Did Everyone Notice The Yankees Were Cheating?
Along with Louis Murphy's Viagra bust, this was another good story to break before a weekend and be completely ignored....

Abusive Relationships Are The Talk Of New York Baseball
It's not enough for Yankees GM Brian Cashman to let the Mets wallow in the fact that they're the Mets. No, he just had to call them out for abusing "left-handed specialist" Pedro Feliciano last year....

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

The Nationals Extend Their Lead In The Spelling-Fails Sweepstakes
First, they got John Lannan's name wrong on the scoreboards during introductions. Then, they were "honoriing" the heroes of 9/11. Now comes word that the Washengtin Natchonulls broadcast partner shouted outfielder Laynce Nix out as "Lance Nix" on MASN, per tipster James, who offered photographic ev...

The Cardinals Are Pretty Much Cursed Now, Right?
Adam Wainwright needs Tommy John surgery. Now Matt Holliday is out indefinitely after an emergency appendectomy. Next Albert Pujols will sign with Chicago. (Probably.)...

Your Other Opening Day Open Thread
Aw, don't feel bad that MLB gave you a Friday game to open the season. For example, it's slightly more acceptable to booze your way through the game. We're looking at you, Phillies fans....

Go Deep Inside Brian Wilson's Beard
I know I'm essentially linking to an MLB ad designed to go viral. But this is just so involved, and so weirdly un-MLBlike. [MLBAlwaysEpic]...

One Day Into The Season, The Nationals Have Had Two Spelling Fails
The Nationals, a team forever cursed by one innocent screw-up, stand ready to be judged at the slightest hint of typographical imperfection. The Nats have yet to plate a runner in this young season, but they're off to a good start in other areas....

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Your First Night Game Of The Season Open Thread
Opening Day for 12 of 29* Major League Baseball franchises comes to a close with a Giants/Dodgers game. One team is the defending World Series Champion; the other fills some seats with gang-bangers. Facts....

Now A Grouchy Old Lesbian, Pete Rose Returned From Arsenio Hall's Rummage Sale In Time For Opening Day
Bud Selig, you've officially broken this man's spirit. Please remedy this situation and put Peter Edward Rose in the Hall of Fame before his sanity dissipates any further....

Old Hoss Flipping The Bird, And More: An Opening Day Retrospective
Peter Nash, resident baseball historian and former 3rd Bass prime minister, has pulled together some Opening Day memorabilia porn for your viewing pleasure. Like this 1886 Opening Day photo from Boston featuring Old Hoss Radbourn (top left) expressing joy about having his picture taken. Dive in....

This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...

Your Opening Day Open Thread
It seems like just yesterday that Tim Lincecum and the Giants were donning their dong-hats as world champions, but baseball is here again, and we're so happy about it. In the early-afternoon block, we've got Tigers-Yankees, Braves-Nationals, and Brewers-Reds. Express your giddiness, joy, and/or curs...

Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...

Take A Look At Tim Lincecum's Brand New Jordanesque Logo
Tim Lincecum will be on the mound (and on the Magazine cover) as the Giants open their season this evening with an 8 p.m. EST game against the Dodgers. There's always been something about Lincecum that suggests an aversion to selling-out or going for products (it's the long hair; I'm stereotyping) s...

Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....