MLS Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLS Coach Fired Over Unhinged, Multi-Phase Homophobic Meltdown

Real Salt Lake head coach Mike Petke was fired by the team Sunday, a little over two weeks after his meltdown at the end of his team’s 1–0 loss to Tigres UANL in the Leagues Cup. Between then and now Petke was hit with three different suspensions plus a fine over the incident, which was notable both...

Josef Martínez Adds Two More MLS Scoring Records To His Growing Collection

Atlanta United forward Josef Martínez can’t stop breaking records. Last season, the 26-year-old Venezuelan shattered the MLS single-season scoring record with 31 goals, four more than the previous record of 27. On Sunday, he added two more records to his collection with this towering header against ...

Zlatan Ibrahimović On MLS Playoffs: "I Think The System Is Shit"

Zlatan Ibrahimović’s summer of righteous discontent continues. Less than a month after taking a dump on MLS’s best player, likening his own presence in the league to a “Ferrari among Fiats,” and even calling an opposing coach a “little bitch,” the L.A. Galaxy striker has today taken aim at the leagu...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Will Leave MLS To Be A Player-Coach At Derby County

It looks like Wayne Rooney’s vacation in the United States will only last 18 months. Derby County manager Phillip Cocu confirmed, per the Guardian, on Tuesday that the 33-year-old Englishman will be moving back across the Atlantic in January to join Derby as a player-coach....

Alejandro Bedoya Scores Goal, Calls For Congress To "End Gun Violence"

During the goal celebration after he scored in today’s D.C. United-Philadelphia Union match, Union midfielder Alejandro Bedoya picked up a pitch-side microphone and said into it,“Hey Congress, do something, now! End gun violence!”:...

Soccer Team's Postgame Fireworks Canceled Due To Plague

If you were hoping to catch some fireworks after Saturday night’s Montreal Impact-Colorado Rapids soccer match, bad news: It’s off because of the damn plague....

A new analysis of the deal to build a stadium for MLS’s FC Cincinnati shows it will cost taxpayers $213 million, or more than four times what was described in the 2017 agreement between city and county leaders and the team’s ownership. Even “favorable” public-private stadium deals wind up screwing t...

Josef Martínez's Hideous Penalty Kick Run-Up Ends In Humiliation

The reward for Josef Martínez’s frankly insane penalty kick routine is an unreadable technique that makes it easy to best keepers from the spot, as evidenced by the Atlanta United forward’s 14-for-16 penalty record in MLS. The risk is that it makes him look like a huge weirdo and sets him up for rid...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Scores Hat Trick, Calls LAFC Coach A "Little Bitch"

Earlier this week, Zlatan Ibrahimovic did what Zlatan Ibrahimovic does best and decided to talk some shit. He questioned the validity of Carlos Vela’s career, declared that he was the best player in MLS “by far,” and said that on the pitch he’s “like a Ferrari among Fiats.” The timing of these comme...

Josef Martínez Dribbled Two Houston Dynamo Players Into An Early Grave

Josef Martínez is Atlanta United’s do-everything striker, was the best player in MLS last year, and has been the hottest player in the league over the last two months. The 26-year-old Venezuelan has scored 11 goals in his last seven games, including two against the Houston Dynamo on Wednesday night ...

Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethers Carlos Vela, Explains Why MLS Sucks [Updated]

LAFC forward Carlos Vela has dominated MLS this year. Many believe this makes him the best player in the league. Zlatan Ibrahimović disagrees. After all, Vela might be the Messi of MLS, but as Zlatan astutely pointed out in an interview on ESPN in which he coolly savaged Vela’s career and the league...

Hair-Pulling Considered Rude In Every Sport But Football

In the midst of play a few weeks ago, WNBA player Liz Cambage’s arm got all wrapped up in her opponent Kalani Brown’s hair. At first the tangle seemed to be an accident, but soon there was pushing and shoving and intentional hair-pulling, and Cambage walked away from the encounter with a flagrant fo...

Minnesota United FC Scored A Game-Winning Goal And Saved A Penalty All In Stoppage Time

For the first 90 minutes of Minnesota United FC’s game against FC Dallas, pretty much nothing happened and the score was tied 0-0. But, as those in attendance at Allianz Field soon found out, that unremarkable hour and a half was anything but a precursor of things to come. ...

Herd Of Orlando City Fans Stampedes To Opposite Side Of Stadium To Heckle NYCFC

Last night, during the penalty shootout that concluded an Orlando City-NYCFC U.S. Open Cup match, NYCFC tried to limit the influence of Orlando’s most boisterous fans by electing to take the kicks on the end of the stadium opposite The Wall, Orlando’s hardcore fan section. NYCFC didn’t account for h...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Scores A Goal From A Million Billion Miles Away

Wayne Rooney has done some cool stuff with D.C. United, in Major League Soccer. He did a lovely free kick goal. He virtually single-handedly dragged the United to the MLS playoffs. An insane two-way highlight from last August was rightly hailed as maybe the best MLS highlight ever. I hereby submit ...

Zlatan Assists Zlatan For A Typically Stupendous Zlatan Bicycle Kick Goal

Zlatan Ibrahimović has been consistently Zlataning since coming to MLS, scoring 32 goals in 38 games, but it’s been a while since his last truly memorable Zlatan moment. Possibly in recognition of this relative drought, Zlatan pulled off a spectacular Zlatan on Sunday, with a Zlatan-y sequence of sk...

Liga MX And MLS Will Compete For A New, Meaningless Trophy

Starting in July, MLS and Liga MX will compete in a new, eight team, single elimination competition to crown the best club in Mexico and the United States (Canada can go fuck itself unless Toronto, Vancouver, or Montreal qualify for the tourney, I guess). At least, that’s in theory what is being pit...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked

While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...

Vancouver Whitecaps Goalie Pulls Off Three Spectacular Saves In A Row

If there’s one thing better than a good goalkeeper boner, it’s a goalkeeper thwarting an attacking onslaught by turning into a brick wall. Think Tim Howard at the 2014 World Cup, or David de Gea last season (before his brain broke and he became sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit)....

FC Cincinnati's Fired Coach Is The Latest Casualty Of MLS's Misguided Expansion Strategy

After seven winless games in a row, in which the team looked worse than bad, the FC Cincinnati brain trust has mercifully fired manager Alan Koch, replacing him with assistant Yoann Damet in the interim, while conducting a proper search for a permanent replacement. The club put out a statement on Tu...