MMA Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....
Rope Takes Fighters Ear
Here you see two-eared MMA fighter Shigeyuki Uchiyama going into the ropes with Masaya "J-Taro" Takita. Uchiyama loses part of his ear soon thereafter....
"It Looked Like A Butterflied Shrimp": A Cutman's Tour Of 12 Terrible Fight Wounds
We've already posted an ode to boxing's bleeders. Let us now look at the blood itself. We ask Jacob "Stitch" Duran, an elite cutman who's worked many thousands of bouts, to share a few memories of the foulest gashes he's ever plugged....
This Week In Horrifying Leg Injuries
In case you missed it, there were a couple of real leg-cracking beauties this weekend. One happened to an MLS goalie and the other a minor MMA fighter, so yeah, you probably missed it. Click if you dare....
Mushroom Tea Murder: Man Removes Friend's Still-Beating Heart
After taking psychedelic mushrooms, a California man gouged out his MMA training partner's heart, eyes and tongue, all while he was still alive. Witness testimonies detail the two men's increasing paranoia as it spiraled out of control....
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
Peeping Tom Peeps In On MMA Fighter, Doesn't Peep So Good No More
A pervert snuck onto a couple's patio and tried to videotape them. The male half of that couple, a part-time MMA fighter, took exception, which he expressed via fists. As you probably guessed, that's the pervert, in his "after" pose....
MMA Not Allowed To Pit Bionic Men Against Regular Humans
An MMA organization has been fined for letting an Afghanistan vet fight with his prosthetic leg, which the Texas licensing board classifies as a potential weapon. That's ridiculous, unless it shoots fire. Does it? Because that would be awesome. [American-Statesman]...
Strikeforce Post-Bout Brawl Is Childish, Exciting
Jake Shields was confronted during a post-fight interview by Jason "Mayhem" Miller demanding a rematch (Shields beat him in November). Because MMA wants to be the new boxing, their entourages got into it. Bonus: Gus Johnson gets righteous!...
Fighting Just Got A Little More Fabulous
Yuichiro Nagashima is a successful kickboxer, who just won a huge Japanese tournament. He's also really, really into cosplay....
MMA's War Machine Busts Up Bar, Spits On Cops
Take a heavily tattooed MMA-fighter-cum-porn-actor, who legally changed his name to "War Machine," and it's a surprise we're reporting on his bar brawl instead of reporting on when he doesn't start one....
MMA Fight Scrapped Due To A (Yikes) "Brain Irregularity"
Thiago Alves has been scratched from his UFC fight this weekend, after a brain scan revealed two words you never want to hear from your doctor. I'm not a medical (or MMA) expert....but he might need that brain later. [Yahoo/ESPN]...
I Went To A UFC Match, And A Fight Broke Out
As Mark Coleman transitioned into forced retirement, Tito Ortiz cursed him out from cageside, while girlfriend Jenna Jameson gave the finger. That's probably not a first for Jenna, if "Where The Boys Aren't 17" is any indication. [cagewriter]...
Herschel Walker's MMA Debut Ugly As Expected
Walker's appearance for Strikeforce last night went as successfully as a match against an out-of-shape, inexperienced fighter, with the crowd booing you for using poor technique and not finishing him off can go. [Sherdog]...
Also Not A Fan Of Socialized Medicine: Brock Lesnar
The UFC Champ just got over a nasty case of diverticulitis, no thanks to Canada. In a move sure to upset half our nation and all of theirs, Lesnar trashed universal health care and called Canada "a Third World country."...
UFC Fight Night 20: Suburban Hell, Blood Loogies, And The Glorious Return Of The Hipster Warrior
The UFC slunk into the Patriot Center in Fairfax last night. Fairfax isn't so much a town as a county. To be more specific, it's a naturally occurring asbestos pit home to spies, Civil War fanatics and lax-obsessed Caucasian moneylovers....
Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....
If You're Breathing (And Maybe If Not) Someone Will Sanction Your MMA Fight
A five-time World's Strongest Man champion thinks his very specific skill set can translate to MMA. There's a reason he's never won the World's Smartest Man competition (no Polish jokes please)....
UFC 104: Zombies, Blind Men And The False Triumph Of The Piss-Drinker
Three years have passed since the UFC put on a show in Los Angeles, and maybe this is why. The California State Athletic Commission this weekend jobbed Shogun Rua out of a light heavyweight title....
UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....