mo Page 489 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Gary In Menlo Park. Gary, You're On The Herd With An Imbecile"
And, courtesy of Paul Pabst:...
Scarlett Johansson Enters The Matrix: <em>Lucy</em>, Reviewed
1. Lucy posits that if a person were able to somehow assess 100 percent of his or her brain capacity, he or she would be able to travel through time, from the Big Bang to the dinosaurs to the dawn of man to the end of the world, and gather all the wisdom from millennia and hand it over as a gift to ...
Johnny Damon, At 40 Years Old, Is Rather Sad
Johnny Damon's 40 years old and hasn't played an MLB game in two years. He still doesn't consider himself retired, however....
Stop Making Sense: The Lunkheaded Genius Of <em>Big Trouble In Little China</em>
In 1988's Die Hard—probably the most perfect and pure American action movie ever made—we met Bruce Willis's John McClane, a different kind of action hero. McClane wasn't an ultra-capable superman, but instead a resourceful, slippery, one-liner-slinging everyman, not to mention, sometimes, a smarmy a...
Rookie Reporter
Dig this cool episode of the Moth featuring Lewis Lapham. ...
Marshawn Lynch Calls NFL Network To Announce He's Holding Out
Beast Mode now includes telling your organization to shove it via the NFL Network. Earlier this evening, Marshawn Lynch called his former Seahawks teammate, and current NFL Network analyst, Michael Robinson and let him know that he was holding out of training camp and Robinson relayed the informatio...
Justin Blackmon Arrest Video Features Obnoxious Cop, Handcuffs
Jaguars wide receiver Justin Blackmon, already on an indefinite suspension from the NFL under its substances of abuse policy, was arrested yesterday in Edmond, Okla., pulled over with two marijuana-filled blunts in his car....
Police: Texas Football Players Sexually Assaulted Woman, Took Picture
Two Texas football players, Kendall Sanders and Montrel Meander, are charged with felony sexual assault for an attack that police say happened last month in a university dorm room. They have since been suspended from the team. ...
John Harbaugh Sees Ray Rice's Suspension As A Good Lesson For Kids
Ravens head coach John Harbaugh fielded some questions about Ray Rice during his press conference at preseason camp today, and he decided to invoke "the children," for some reason....
Hockey Players Photobombed By The Queen Of England
Australian field hockey players Jayde Taylor and Brooke Peris are in Glasgow, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games, and earlier today posted a photo with an unexpected guest to Twitter. They knew what they were doing, thus making it not a true photobomb, but we'll allow it. Watch out, ladies! She's ...
Ladies, Buy Your Pink Ray Rice Jerseys Today!
Hey, ladies: get ready for the upcoming NFL season with your special Ray Rice jerseys, still in stock on NFL.com. Act fast, though; these won't be around for long!...
NFL Network On Ray Rice Suspension: "The Iron Fist Of The NFL"
Nearly every sane sports fan is offended by the leniency of Ray Rice's two-game NFL suspension for domestic abuse, but don't let anyone at NFL Network know that. They described the suspension today as "dealing with the iron fist of the NFL."...
Reports: Ray Rice Suspended Two Games For Knocking Out Fiancée
As first reported by Yahoo's Rand Getlin, and just now by multiple other reporters, Ravens RB Ray Rice will be suspended by the NFL for the first two games of the season for beating the shit out of his then-fiancée....
Johnny Damon: An Idiot in Exile
Pat Jordan's latest for Sports on Earth:...
Frank Caliendo Reads LeBron's Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
Frank Caliendo went on Mike & Mike today and read LeBron's essay announcing his return to Cleveland in the voice of Morgan Freeman. It's an excellent impression. Just make sure to close the video 24 seconds early so you don't have to hear Greeny and Golic. Like a cold bucket of water, those two. (Up...
Yadier Molina Leaves Crackers For Brother Jose On Home Plate
Is this the source of the Molina catching prowess? Crackers? ...
The Lebowskis Who Might Have Been: Behind The Scenes With The Coens
When I was 25 I got a job with the Coen brothers. I'd worked on three movies as an apprentice film editor and got a gig with them as a personal assistant when they made The Big Lebowski. I was with them for a year, from before pre-production through post-production (when they edited the movie, I tra...
Nothing Up Woody Allen's Sleeve: <em>Magic In The Moonlight</em>, Reviewed
Magic in the Moonlight is the sort of Woody Allen movie that longtime fans have trouble defending, not because it's terrible or lazy—it's neither—but because it's so painfully familiar. Likeable and completely disposable, his new comedy has its chuckles, but as he gets closer to the 50-feature m...
This Is A Browns Fan Pissing On Art Modell's Grave
How do you turn Art Modell into a sympathetic figure? You don an Ed Reed Ravens jersey (to fool people who might find a dude in a Browns jersey visiting Art Modell's grave suspicious, natch), hold your pee for a while, get yourself a catheter, and then dramatically reveal your hidden Lyle Alzado jer...
Warm Your Heart With A Supercut Of Kids Swearing In Movies
There's something disarming about a little kid swearing. It's shocking and delightful at the same time, even though it's not supposed to be encouraged. That's real life, though. This supercut of children cursing in movies, however, can be enjoyed without guilt. Embrace the profanity, especially "bun...