mo Page 640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Way We Live Now: New Cubs Outfielder Responds To Mockery On His Tumblr
Fernando Perez, outfielder and all-around solid guy, isn't happy with this bit of satire from a Cubs blog. "It's so arbitrary and unfunny I'd be offended if I took the 120 seconds out of my work day to read it," Perez...tumbls. [Outfielding]...
Pissed-Off Under Armour Employee Does Not Want To Work Full Friday After Auburn's Championship
The corporate higher-ups at Under Armour probably should've waited to mess with employee holiday schedules, what with the lingering championship afterglow and all. One employee decided to vent his displeasure in the form of an anonymous email. This is his championship, after all....
No, Seahawks Fans Didn't Cause An Earthquake
That graphic shows a seismograph reading taken at the exact moment Marshawn Lynch scampered 67 yards to break Saturday's game open. It was an awe-inspiring run, but it didn't exactly make the earth move....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Ravishing" Rick Rude
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Ravishing" Rick Rude, who died in 1999 of heart failure possibly caused by a drug overdose....
Tecmo Marshawn Lynch Channels Tecmo Christian Okoye
Marshawn Lynch's 67-yard run has already been recreated in Tecmo Bowl, with former Seahawk Steve Raible providing the call. Check it out. But remember: Only one player in Tecmo Bowl could really break tackles like this. He hailed from Nigeria....
Your Germ-Free Chiefs-Ravens Open Thread
Joe Cool goes up against Brady's backup. Ed Reed's brother goes missing. And Jamaal Charles appears to have dodged the flu, thanks to an advanced hygiene routine Chiefs coach Todd Haley put in place before the game....
The WJC Was Won By Orcs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Let's Marvel At The Perfect Absurdity Of This ESPN Guy's HOF Ballot
Here's the ballot mailed in by Barry Stanton, ESPN news editor: Jack Morris, Edgar Martinez, Tino Martinez, Don Mattingly, B.J. Surhoff. I shit you not. B.J. Surhoff....
There Is Footage Of ESPN's Adam Schefter Singing In <em>West Side Story</em> For Sale
This is one of the odder items up for bid on the scuzz-money marketplace, yet it's still so intriguing. Apparently ESPN's NFL high-fivin' workhorse used to get all Sock 'n' Buskin as a youngster....
Orioles Pitcher Accused Of Shooting Man Dead On NYE Says Whole Thing Was Silly "Accident"
"It wasn't a thing like we began arguing and I started shooting. It was some accident. It happened by accident. That's why I came here - to open my soul." And that's why he fled. [Baltimore Sun]...
Happy New Year: There Is An American Ryder Cup Captain's Dick Shot For Sale
Somebody wake Dan Jenkins from his afternoon nap and fetch his slippers because there's a wayward PGA penis on the loose. Proud sportswriters, please test that 2011 resolution to ignore this type of tawdry checkbook journalism....
"Cooking With Bill Belichick" Is Delightful
This has been floating around for a while, but it's new to us. It comes from Ohio proto-sports/humor show Sports Mock Live. We wonder if Belichick is in on the joke, because he's the type who's never in on the joke....
Baltimore Orioles Reliever Wanted For Murder
Though reliever Alfredo Simon went 4-2 with a 4.93 ERA for the Baltimore Orioles last season, the team will probably be looking to replace him in '11....
The Wonders And Weirdness Of ESPN In 3D
Patrick Sauer recently attended a viewing of the first-ever NBA telecast on ESPN's new 3D channel, and it was a glimpse into our strange future: floating heads, precision celebrity high-fives, and lots and lots of really unreal detail....
The <em>Space Jam</em> Website From 1996 Is Still Up
Commenter StuckBetweenStations points us to the official Space Jam website, unchanged these past 14(!) years. It's a wonderful little time capsule, and I bet I score higher in "Match The Monstar" than you....
Ashley Cole Punched In The Underpants By Google
For all that is totally brilliant about modern technology, all this advancement has a downside. Notably that it's now damn near impossible to casually steamroller a whole host of women behind Cheryl Cole's back and ever have the whole mess forgotten about....
Scientific Proof Of How To Beat Someone’s Ass At Monopoly
Yesterday a reader and I theorized that the Orange properties were the best monopoly to own in Monopoly. And now a scientician has proven us RIGHT!...
Last Night's Winner: Internet Rumors Of Joe Paterno's Health As Actual News
Perhaps you've seen the email forward making the rounds. It claims that Paterno's health is completely shot, and that he's going to call it quits after the Outback Bowl. But which one of you mooks forwarded it to Sue Paterno?...
HS Team Lives By The Three-Quarter Court Shot Dies By The Three-Quarter Court Shot
On Dec. 4, Annapolis Area Christian School and McDonogh were tied 47-47 in a high school baskeball game when AACS stole an inbounds pass and Phillip Perry nailed a looooong shot to win the game....
"No Limits" Snowmobile-Jump Record Attempt Limited By Snowmobile-Jump Injury
The ESPN/Red Bull "New Year. No Limits" event at which snowmobiler Levi LaVallee planned to break a world record by jumping over 301.5 feet of water was canceled after wing-less LaVallee crashed during practice. [SignOnSanDiego]...