mo Page 650 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Video Of Tony Kornheiser Teaching Bill Simmons How To Wear A Tie
The Sports Fella's hosting PTI for the rest of the week, so it looks like we'll be watching PTI this week. There you go, indeed, Tony. H/T Trey Kerby....

Controversial World Cup Referee Busted With Whole Lotta Heroin At Airport
Byron Moreno, a former FIFA referee was arrested at JFK airport with over six KG of heroin. According to Google Translate translation, Moreno was controversial, "bleeped in Korea," and hid "the drug in her underwear." Got it. [CRE Satelital]...

You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....

God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....

Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...

Look At The Fucking End Of This Trend: Sayonara, Hoopsters
The Hoopsters brought us a lot of enjoyment over the last two months. However, now that summer's over and the New York Times is writing about them—and quoting me—it's time to say goodbye....

Has Jose Mourinho Got A Spot Of OCD Happening?
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Roethlisbergerfreude Reaches Its Hilarious Apex
Reader Mike sent this in today and honestly, what's not to like about anthropomorphic toys acting like their real-world counterparts? Photoshop job or no Photoshop job, the answer is nothing....

A Video Compilation Of Baseball's Dangerous Broken Bats
Following the unceremonious end to Tyler Colvin's season, Wezen-Ball put together a fairly succinct montage of dangerous broken bats that were put into play during MLB games. Baseball is the new Thunderdome. [Wezen-Ball]...

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Harbaugh: God Makes Foolish The Wisdom Of The World (Specifically, Vegas Point Spreads)
"Where is the wise man?" John Harbaugh asks his team. "Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Does God not make foolish the wisdom of this world? That's what He did tonight, because we're the Ravens."...

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Vaginal Bear Trap Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Today, In Unintentional Rape Puns
Obviously this headline is a pun on the Orem Owlz's playoff opponents, the Raptors. Not anything else. Don't know why anyone would think that. [MiLB.com, H/T Jared]...

Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...

Pete Rose: “Don’t Do Like Me”
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pete Rose....

Atlanta Braves Fans Are Filthier Than The Guys Using The John In Penn Station, Science Proves
"Only about two-thirds of the men observed washed their hands after using the restroom at Turner Field — the lowest rate for any of the locations cited in the observational study and survey on the hand-washing habits of Americans."...

The Champions League Is Harder To Win Than The World Cup, Lies Jose Mourinho
As reported on the popular Spanish website, Sport.es, Jose Mourinho's mouth has once again kicked into action before the logic part of his brain, as he muttered these words:...

Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Ravens-Jets
Monday night, the time of the week when it used to be a novelty that football was on but hasn't been for quite a while, is finally here, and both teams have a bunch of sparkling new toys to show off tonight....

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....