mo Page 655 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Porno For Pyros In The Minors
Come out to the Savannah Sand Gnats game next Saturday. There'll be food giveaways, and live music, and, oh yeah, one lucky fan gets to light a man on fire....

Why Aren't There More Good Baseball Movies?
The following is excerpted from Emma Span's 90% Of The Game Is Half Mental: And Other Tales from the Edge of Baseball Fandom, an account of one woman's love of baseball—from cheering along at home to being on the team beat and everywhere in between....

Minor League Promotion Will Put You Off Eating For A While
It wasn't your typical eating contest last night at Eastlake Stadium, home of the Indians' single-A club. No, it spanned nine innings, with nine different courses (that's Spam in the photo), and ended in vomit, vomit everywhere....

Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Artful Shevchenko Pickpockets A Football Reporter
Chancers, grifters and terrifying mobs of tiny vagrant children have got this one down to a fine art — simply distract your victim by doing a funny little dance, whilst your robbing partner deftly rifles through his/her pockets looking for loot....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Diamondbacks Become Immigration Battle Prop
At last night's epic Mets/Diamondbacks showdown at Shi, er, Citi Field, Arizona-immigration-law protesters took to the diamond in the Wonder Twins Power form of Two Guys with Mexican Flags....

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Julio Mora: 22-Star Recruit
So, glitch on Rivals.com, or is Julio Mora the football-playing reincarnation of Shiva himself? [EDSBS]...

Pudgy Philly Puker To The Pokey
Matthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...

Female Kickboxer Is Killed At Sloppily Organized Tournament
Sunday in Orlando, Lindsay Scheer fought Adrienne Simmons in the Muay Thai lightweight women's final of the International Kickboxing Federation National Amateur Tournament. The two women were not evenly matched. Lindsay Scheer won the fight. Adrienne Simmons died....

Lucky Underwear Will Save Us All
Science has finally proven that Jason Giambi's slump-busting thong is not weird, but a legitimate form of slump-busting. Thank you, science, for making us all picture Jason Giambi in a thong again. [Well]...

Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...

On The Other Side Of A No-No, Tigers Learn How To Pick Their Battles
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....

Weekend Winner: The Dan Haren Swindle
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Angels, who shoplifted Dan Haren out of Arizona and so thoroughly snookered the Diamondbacks that someone should check if Chase Field is encased in aluminum siding....

Prediction for Today's Royals/Yankees Game
Twenty-seven years ago today, this happened ......

The Worst Bra Unhooking Failure Ever. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....