mo Page 676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cleveland Luminaries Join Forces To Win LeBron's Heart Through Terrible Song (CARL MONDAY UPDATE)
UPDATE: Yeah, that's Carl Monday at the 1:57 mark....

Bengie Molina's Outrage At ESPN Is Slowly Rounding Third
Molina has declared himself unamused by the SportsCenter clip you see here, in which the Giants catcher is lightly mocked for running from second to home like the QE2 steaming into port. This from a guy whose Wikipedia entry calls him slow....

Why Won't You Die, Montreal?
For the second time in two rounds, the eighth-seeded Canadiens have won a Game 7, on the road, knocking off both the President's Trophy winner and the defending champs. Obviously, we'll have to kill them in our dreams....

Robinho And Pals Dance Merrily Along To Beyoncé
You know how sometimes on Jonathan Ross they will show a clip solely to embarrass a guest? Normally something humiliating from their past, like an old school play, or a silly advert? Good, you do. Well done....

The Earth Hates The Canadiens
A Quebec family had just seen the Habs take the lead in game 6 Monday night, when...well, you can see the photo. Their house pretty much disappeared into the ground....

Sixteen-Year-Old High School Basketball Star Is Actually 22-Year-Old Liar
Jerry Joseph was simply living the American dream—lying about his age so that he could go back to high school and relive his glory days as the big man on campus. Didn't Bob Dylan sing about this?...

Awesome Track Coach Wins League Championship By Disqualifying Girl For Friendship Bracelet
South Pasadena High pole vaulter Robin Laird thought she won a league championship last month when her final vault clinched the meet. Then the opposing coach helpfully pointed out that she was wearing a string around her wrist. Clutch!...

Lebron Makes Live-Action Mega Man Movie
Sure, it's a filmmaker named Eddie Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Comics Alliance]...

Lebron Undergoes Elbow Surgery
Sure, it's an Orioles minor league pitcher named Luis Lebron. But still, could you imagine? (Did you folks forget this little gem?) [Balt Sun]...

Eggheads Explain How To Take The Perfect Penalty
Football is all about physics, so, in many ways, Wayne Rooney isn't just a footballer, he's also a magnificent scientist. It is also, unfortunately, marred by biology — the most annoying of the sciences — from time to time....

Montreal Forces Game 7, Philly Gets A Game 6
Playoff Updates: Canadiens, Flyers stay alive. Hawks still playing with only four guys, apparently....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

A Lovely Short Film For A Warm Spring Day: "Wiffleball '79"
"AJ,I thought you might enjoy my short film "Wiffleball '79." I did. I really did. You will, too. [YouTube]...

Barca Striker Is Not Gay, He Insists Loudly
This photo of Barcelona's Gerard Pique and Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been making the rounds, with the expected chatter. Ibra had this to say to a reporter: "Come to my house with your sister and see if I'm queer." [via Dirty Tackle]...

Joe Torre, Foiled By His Own Enormous Hog. Allegedly. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Welcome To Bizarro Continent, Where Canada Owns Our Asses At Sports Management
While Glendale and Gary Bettman flounder about, there's already a deal in place to move the Coyotes to Winnipeg. Meanwhile Montreal has been tapped to join MLS, and, oh look, they've already got a team. Shit, America, get it together....

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....

Look, They Made Soccer Fun!
Perhaps the Scottish Premier League isn't the best quality of play, but Motherwell's four goals in the last 25 minutes to salvage a 6-6 draw — with a Europa League spot on the line — still makes for a classic match....

The Freak-Out Over LeBron's Elbow Begins Now
Ball in Europe, citing a source close to the Cavs: "Apparently, the damage is enough that the right arm of King James ... is having great difficulty in carrying anything heavier than a basketball." The hopes of a city, for instance. [BallinEurope.com]...

Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....