mo Page 679 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...

Mysterious Laugher Does Not Sympathize With Chan Ho Park's Stomach Ailments (UPDATE)
Chan Ho Park recently gave his reason for being slightly worse than usual: a bout of diarrhea. This admission (repeated several times) drew gales of laughter (also repeated) from an unseen source. Who is this secret gut-bustee? A Parenthood fan? [ZonerSports.com]...

Rabbit Expo Collapse Leads To Unchecked Humping
A couple months ago, I wrote about a roof collapse at a Swedish rabbit show. I remember it well, because I'm still receiving hate mail from bunny enthusiasts. Well, there's a happy ending. The rabbits started fucking like rabbits....

Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....

DePaul Wraps Up Its Coaching Search From Hell By Pissing Off The Wrong People
Following a blunder- and rejection-filled search, DePaul finally decided on Clemson's Oliver Purnell. Sounds like a good hire: basement-dwelling big-conference team nabs someone who marginally improved another basement-dwelling big-conference team. So why are Chicago hoops figures apoplectic?...

Jeff Samardzija: "Great Lover/Friend," Says An Ex
Not every tip we've received about Jeff Samardzija has been negative. He has his defenders, too, and some pretty dedicated ones. So in the interests of fair play and equal time here's a very thoughtful defense of "The Shark."...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Chris Kanyon
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Chris Kanyon, who was found dead Friday in his Queens, New York, apartment after an apparent suicide....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

I-Team Report: Jeff Samardzija May Or May Not Have Attempted To Sex Ladies
Believe it or not, we actually have some updates about Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija's "sad" Daytona past. And if they are to believed...well, they're pretty boring. Hey, that's just how (some) investigative journalism gets done....

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

How Did Jeff Samardzija Spend His Daytona Nights?
Jeff Samardzija's Major League Baseball career has been less than stellar (2010 ERA: 108.00!), but if sponsored internet smack is to be believed, his minor league career (specifically, the "off the field late night activities" part) was quite interesting indeed....

One Shining Turd: A Brief Analysis Of How CBS Ruined Its "Moment"
The consensus is that CBS thoroughly murdered basketball's great cornball anthem, "One Shining Moment." Where did they go wrong? Deadspin research reveals that singer Jennifer Hudson logged a full 12 seconds of screen time, a record....

After Coal Mine Blast, Writer Asks The Important Question: Would WVU Have Won In The NCAA Final?
Answer: Yes. "The Mountaineers would have taken the emotional hit, confronted the occasion and done everything to prevail." So noted. [Charleston Daily Mail]...

Ye Olde Shining Moment: A Basketball Montage To Remind Us How Good We Have It Now
Because neither video nor Luther Vandross was around in the 1940s, the NCAA Tournaments of those days concluded without the now-beloved "One Shining Moment" montage, which seems so very wrong. We've remedied the situation. Enjoy. [Footage via A Stern Warning]...

Vandy Pitcher Takes Liner Off Knee, Still Gets The Assist
Corey Williams, a redshirt freshman at Vanderbilt, had his knee obliterated by a hot shot up the middle and still recorded the 1-3 putout. I hope the next mound he pitches on has a ramp though....

Some Losses Are More Painful Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Time For A Lady To Have Her Say. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

They May Be Smug Unlikeable Bastards, But Damned If They Don't Have Good Foot Doctors
WVU's Darryl Bryant was treated by an orthopedic surgeon from Duke, in hopes of being ready to face the Blue Devils on Saturday. Would you be shocked if he implanted a time bomb in that foot? [News & Observer]...