mo Page 785 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Live Blog: Argentina Vs. Serbia & Montenegro
You know, we're pretty proud of ourselves for not once — not once — making a single "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" comment. Maybe it's because they haven't lost yet. We're gonna see if we can keep that going. Except for now, that is....

Fan Anger, In Still Life
An eagle-eyed reader — that is to say, by "eagle-eyed," we mean to say "actually watching hockey" — pointed out this angry fan directly after Edmonton's sudden death goal to win Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night over Carolina....

Get Away From Carl Monday, Voyeurs!
Well, if you're not quote ready to let go of Carl Monday's investigative brilliance, it appears Carl Monday himself is. On his "blog" over the weekend, Carl cordially requested we let the library report go. He says "response to the reports has practically short-circuited our blog" and blames the upr...

We Have Not Forgotten About The NHL. Honest.
OK, you're right; we've been somewhat neglecting our hockey friends. It's just that it's really hard to get fired up about an NHL title in a city where ice had to be shipped in by train until 1941. (Yes, we know they were once the Hartford Whalers. And Elizabeth Taylor was once hot). But we promise ...

Lord Stanley Sashays Over To NBC
In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the ratings, you haven't *), the Carolina Hurricanes have opened up a 2-0 lead against the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Finals. The series moves back to Edmonton (and back to network television) this evening....

Altitude Sickness
Hey, for the last time, if you're climbing Mount Everest and you get into trouble, could you do the other climbers the courtesy of dying off the trail? Just crawl over to the side so that you're out of the way. Thanks. We wrote about this a while back, and it's happened again: A man who reached th...

The End Of The Kyle Boller Era Of Joy
Yesterday, after much debate and "controversy," the Baltimore Ravens finally traded for Steve McNair. Until McNair's legs fall off — we have Week 8 in the pool — he will take over the starting job for Brian Billick and his Nevermores....

Strap In For The Grimsley Express
So we've been digging through this Jason Grimsley affidavit, and there's some pretty fun stuff. We understand the mindset behind what one commenter called "the missing white girl story of the week" aspect of this, but we kind of have a feeling this might stick. Some highlights:...

Defending Mr. Cooper
So we've been thinking about the $500,000 bond required of the victimized Mike Cooper, and we did a little search through Google News for some comparisons....

Jason Grimsley ... SCARFACE!
(One of these guys was on human growth hormone ... can you guess which one?)...

Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...

Your Halfhearted Stanley Cup Pants Party
We have felt somewhat guilty around these parts for our almost total lack of Stanley Cup coverage. We have meant no offense; we just don't get a particularly strong "Holy crap, the Stanley Cup finals are starting tonight! Gooooo Hurricanes!" vibe. In fact, since the NHL playoffs started, we've recei...

A Tragic Weekend In Baseball
We sent our best thoughts and wishes to former umpire Eric Gregg and his family after his massive stroke yesterday at his home in suburban Philadelphia. Always one of our favorite umpires, he lost his job after the ill-fated umpire walkout of 1999. Like anyone else who went to a Phillies home game...

Heat And Pistons, DANCE OFF!
As you rev yourself up for tonight's rather enormous Game 6 matchup between the Heat and the Pistons, we invite you to take in the Heat dancers and Extreme Heat dance team, firing themselves up for the game tonight. How can this not make you excited? How are you not fired up? Dance, Heat ... DANCE...

Orioles Considering Drafting Blast From The Past
The Major League Baseball draft is next Tuesday and Wednesday, and, as anybody knows, it's the most boring draft of all the professional sports. (And if you sat through any of the NFL Draft beyond the first 10 picks last year, you'll realize what a strong statement that is.) So you end up looking ...

BREAKING: If That's Wrong, We Don't Want To Be Right!
This just in: You really don't want to mess with Carl Monday....

You Know, He Could Be Behind You ... RIGHT NOW!
An ingenious reader put this together, the first Dilbert parody we've ever found amusing....

Sport We Don't Understand No. 86: Mountaineering
Whenever someone asks us why we have never climbed Mount Everest, we always reply: too crowded. Seems these days as if the last mile to the summit is like a noontime line at Starbucks. But at least we figured that if we ever encountered trouble, there would be plenty of people around to help us ou...

Great Moments In Academic History
Outstanding yeoman's work from The Seattle Times' Bud Withers, who, apropos of nothing, decided to chronicle various college athlete amusing misdeeds from throughout the years. Our favorites include the tennis player hopping from car hood to car hood waving his racket around, the Cincinnati player...