montreal Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hockey Fan Gives Great Explanation For Canceling Pick-Up Pizza Order
I mean, you can't really blame him, right?...

Habs Coach Michel Therrien Has A Curious Definition Of "Classless"
Ottawa is in the Canadiens' heads. There's no other way to describe it, after a 6-1 Senators victory that included 236 minutes in penalties, and a third period that saw the Habs actively and repeatedly try to hurt their opponents. Oh, but Paul MacLean called a timeout!...

Tonight's Canadiens-Senators Game Featured Two Entire Lines Fighting
Immediately after the Ottawa Senators scored to take a 4-1 lead over the Montreal Canadiens, a scrum broke out...everywhere. Every player on the ice who wasn't a goalie grabbed an opponent and fought, to some degree. As a result, 147 total penalty minutes were issued....

Lots Of People Don't Want To See Lars Eller's Blood
Montreal center Lars Eller is the hospital this morning, after this devastating hit from Ottawa's Eric Gryba. Eller briefly lost consciousness and the team says he suffered a concussion, and facial and dental fractures. Now some people are mad that an Ottawa paper stuck a bloodied Eller on its fron...

Eric Gryba Ejected From Sens-Habs After Bloodying Lars Eller With Hit
Senators defenseman Eric Gryba may be looking at a league suspension after his hit in the second period of tonight's matchup in Montreal left the Canadiens' Lars Eller bloodied and motionless on the ice....

Steve Ott Tried To Win A Faceoff By Licking His Opponent
At the start of the third period, Buffalo's Steve Ott faced off opposite Jeff Halpern. Steve Ott licked Jeff Halpern, or at last came very close. Maybe there's a reason Ott is eighth in the league in faceoff win percentage....

Blake Geoffrion Retires From Hockey At Age 25, Four Months After Suffering Brain Injury (Update)
Blake Geoffrion waited out the lockout in the AHL. In a November game, played before a sold-out crowd at the Bell Centre, the young center got caught watching the puck. Hit by Syracuse's J.P. Cote, Geoffrion went flying, his neck snapping back, his head striking Cote's skate. It was a clean hit, and...

Claude Julien Complained About The Canadiens' "Embellishment," So Someone Made This Highlight Reel Of Bruins Dives
After a chippy loss to Montreal on Monday, Bruins coach Claude Julien came out firing in his postgame press conference, accusing the Canadiens of diving and flopping all over the place. Some of his comments:...

Cam Ward Is Bested By A Bouncing Puck Shot From Behind The Red Line
This is just poor. Max Pacioretty notched his first goal of the season in what can generously be described as a wrist shot, modified knuckle-puck, but more accurately described as a dump in....

Canadiens Goalie Carey Price Takes Hockey Puck To The Nuts
Sure you could characterize it as Carey Price enduring "a wrist shot right...in the...middle...of the net" but we all know better. The immediate doubling over is a tell-tale sign of a nut shot....

Report: Carl Pavano Ruptured His Spleen Shoveling Snow
That's according to Ken Rosenthal, whose MLB sources told him the injury would keep the right-hander out for six to eight weeks. Then again, it might be much longer. Consider: Pavano is 37, he hasn't pitched since June 1 because of shoulder trouble, and he's still a free agent....

Carey Price Hath Slain The Hellhound
Today's installment of "What NHL Players are Killing Instead of Playing Hockey" finds Canadiens goalie Carey Price hunting in northern B.C. He bagged this coyote, looking less than dignified in death, and tweeted it out....
![This Monster Eagle Almost Flew Away With A Little Kid [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Monster Eagle Almost Flew Away With A Little Kid [UPDATE]
Has anyone tried to warn us of the impending giant fucking eagle menace? Is this merely the first warning shot? We must be vigilant, or else the giant fucking eagles of the world will make off with all of our children. BUT ONLY IF WE LET THEM....

Beer Of The Week: La Fin Du Monde
Add this to your bucket list: Watching a U.S. presidential election from somewhere other than the States. On Tuesday night I was about 40 miles from the border, in Vancouver, watching the election returns with Democrat ex-pats. (The party affiliation was an inevitability, as there are virtually no R...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

CFL Player Returns Missed FG 129 Yards For A Touchdown
Trent Guy has had an interesting career. The Louisville WR was shot in the back at a club in 2008, during a fight with a man who groped his fiancée. He went undrafted, and was signed by the Raiders, Panthers, and Panthers again, but was cut during training camp each time. Yesterday may have been h...


Somebody Threw A Shoe At Danica Patrick's Car And Knocked Her Out Of A Race She Was Leading
"Something's fucked up" is all Danica Patrick could muster after leading much of today's NASCAR Nationwide tour race at Montreal then being knocked out by a mechanical issue after running over a shoe thrown onto the track by a spectator....

Stephen Garcia Might've Lost His Fourth-String CFL Quarterback Job To Jordan Jefferson
Stephen Garcia, formerly of South Carolina, formerly of Steve Spurrier's shit list, attended an open tryout for the CFL's Montreal Alouettes this spring. He impressed enough to earn a contract, which put him solidly fourth on the Als' depth chart....

Legendary Badass Ellis Valentine Has The Perfect 70s Playlist For Your Weekend
Dan Epstein—the leading chronicler of 70s baseball—asked former Expo and Met (and Crenshaw High superstar!) Ellis Valentine for his perfect party playlist. And Valentine brought it. The songs are funky as all hell. [Instream Sports]...