my Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...

Soccer Fans In Portland Still Behaving Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza ...

Here's An Awkward Interview In Which Tommy Lasorda Ponders How He'd Pitch To A Dwarf
Last night, Tommy Lasorda made it perfectly clear that he wants to be referred to as "Tommy Pump" from now on. At present, Tommy Pump is on a mission to right the wrongs of Dodgers fandom....

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack
"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register]...

Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today
The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain cos...

This Evening: Keep It Down, Please. Ron Jeremy Is Trying To Sleep At A Bar In New Orleans
Your p.m. roundup for July 25, the day we took the kids to summer camp in a private jet. H/T to Jared for the photo, which was taken over the weekend at NOLA's Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Omar Little Will Appear As A Fresh-Out-Of-Prison Biology Professor On Community
Television changed this morning the moment when actor Michael Kenneth Williams stated via Twitter, "For all the community peeps out there it's official look for me in up coming eps." Translation: Omar from The Wire is comin' to NBC's Community. It's nice to see he made it through the whole Kenard ...

Vince Wilfork Would Like To Express His Condolences To Robert Kraft, But Can't
Myra Kraft, the wife of the Patriots' owner and a philanthropist in her own right, died early today. We're here to help Vince Wilfork let the Kraft family know he's thinking of them....

According To Nathan Horton's Wife, The Stanley Cup Was Lost In Boston Yesterday
The Stanley Cup itself excites us in ways no other sports trophy does. Some of that comes from its versatility: One can eat and drink from it. Some of that comes from its uniqueness: There's a new Lombardi Trophy every year, but there's only one Cup. And the winning team's players get to take that o...

Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....

The Long, Strange Trip Of The Dock Ellis LSD No-Hitter Story
Dock Ellis died in 2008 from cirrhosis of the liver. He was 63. In the years since his death, with a new generation of baseball fans (and drug fans) discovering the tale of the 1970 no-hitter he pitched with a head full of acid, his popularity has only grown. That story was woven into the fabric of...

If You've Always Wanted To Hunt a Live Human, Here's Your Willing Prey
This here’s the tale of a fella who calls himself “Mork Encino.” Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin’ and survivin’. He launched a website about it on June 20. It’s called “Hunt Me 4 Sport.” As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses...

Where In The World Is Jaromir Jagr?
No one knows where Jaromir Jagr, 39, the once-mulleted, twice-Stanley-Cup-champion is. (Jagr's planning on returning to the NHL after a three-year absence, and his agent told us to expect a decision soon.) But people have theories....

Watch Cheick Kongo's Absurd Knockout Of Pat Barry
Cheick Kongo has never lived up to the hype that attends a man who appears to have stepped from the pages of a comic book. But Kongo — who looks even more intimidating with that beard — showed some gameness last night after Pat Barry twice knocked him for a loop. Some people are calling this the gre...

In Mongo Wrestling Alliance, Metalocalypse's Tommy Blacha brings us a world where pro wrestling is reality
Imagine a world in which professional wrestling dynasties carry the same weight as royal families. Such is the standard operating procedure of Metalocalypse co-creator Tommy Blacha's new Adult Swim cartoon Mongo Wrestling Alliance.… [io9] ...

<em>Hollywood Reporter</em> Refutes <em>Daily Mail</em> Story About O.J. Confessing To Oprah That Cited <em>National Enquirer</em> Story That Doesn't Exist
As you were, Internet. [Hollywood Reporter]...

Bruins Owner Used Today's Stanley Cup Parade To Rip On Cam Neely For Never Winning One As A Player
There are two things to consider about this snippet from Jeremy Jacobs's speech at today's celebration in Boston: 1) Why didn't George Steinbrenner use World Series parades in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2009 to remind the world that Donnie Baseball doesn't have a ring and 2) Did team President Sea...