my Page 89 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ben Simmons Delivered An Extra Defender To Jimmy Butler And Then Went Full-Jay Cutler In Loss To Thunder
The end of the Thunder-Sixers game was an amazing example of some back-and-forth bone-headedness that could only be accomplished with these underachieving franchises....
JaMychal Green Wrecks Ersan Ilyasova And His Wasted Theatrics With A Thunderous Dunk<em></em>
The Memphis Grizzlies were never really in their Wednesday night loss to the Milwaukee Bucks, falling behind by double digits in the first quarter, later trailing by 31 points, and eventually yanking their starters at around the 25-minute threshold. The only positives to take away from the game, for...
Master Shit-Talker Joel Embiid Rubs Salt In The Timberwolves' Fresh Wounds
The 76ers beat the absolute hell out of the Minnesota Timberwolves Tuesday night, by the score of 149–107. This was supposed to be the heated and fiercely contested first meeting between Jimmy Butler and his former Timberwolves teammates, but instead it was a savage massacre. Butler was only needed ...
You May Be Shocked To Learn Which 76er Is Reportedly Causing Problems Behind The Scenes
“Around the [Philadelphia 76ers] organization, there’s an urgency for [Brett] Brown and his coaching staff to stabilize the situation,” according to a report today by ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Adrian Wojnarowski. But which situation is that? You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s the situation of...
Jared Allen's Curling Team Of Ex-NFLers Is Starting From The Bottom And Aiming For The Olympics
It doesn’t happen with skeleton or short track speed skating, and definitely not ski jumping, because we all have families that love us. But we’ve all thought about it while watching Olympic curling: How hard can it be? The calculated walking. The histrionic screams. Pushing the rock, or whatever it...
The Ball Family Circus Comes To Ohio
There isn’t a whole lot going on in Vermilion, Ohio, in the winter....
Tommy Pham Says The Rays Have "Really No Fan Base At All"
Talks with area officials on a potential new stadium fell apart earlier this month, so the Rays are back in their generation-long limbo. Perhaps matters in Oakland are more pressing for MLB, but eventually, something’s going to have to give here—and as Rays outfielder Tommy Pham so brutally but accu...
Army's Beatdown Of Houston Reached The "Punt From The Black Knights' 30" Stage
The Houston Cougars were thoroughly spanked by the Army Black Knights in the Armed Forces Bowl. While some coaches would want their players to play hard through the final whistle of the game—despite being down well over 40 points—Houston coach Major Applewhite raised the white flag early in the seco...
Unbeaten Buffalo May Not Be Big-Time, But They're No Fluke<em></em>
The Buffalo Bulls continued their undefeated season on Tuesday night, moving to 11-0 on the year with perhaps their most impressive win to date. After a rough start that saw them down nine early on, the Bulls rode a late charge and defeated Syracuse at the Carrier Dome 71-59. Along with an overtime ...
Blackhawks Mascot Gets Into A Wrestling Match With A Fan
Fighting a mascot is a bad idea—mascot’s advantages: padding, potential athleticism, people care about it more than you—and it becomes an even worse idea when the cameras are rolling. The Chicago Blackhawks’ Tommy Hawk scuffled with a fan after Friday night’s game, and he handled himself well....
Get To Know The Vermin In And Around Your Stadium Food
A rumbling gut is probably enough to inform you that stadium concessions stands can really mess you up, but now you can check your gastrointestinal intuition against an ESPN survey of health violations at pro football, basketball, baseball, and hockey venues....
Jimmy Butler: I Pooped On My Timberwolves Teammates Even Worse Than You Thought
New 76er and true cheesebutt Jimmy Butler appeared on teammate JJ Redick’s podcast this week, where he discussed, among other things, the circumstances of his exit from the Timberwolves. That’s a terribly cursed sentence, given what it describes, but these are two provolone-ass individuals, before w...
Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...
Officials At Army-Navy Needed 8 Minutes To Review A 2-Yard Run
The Army Black Knights held a 10-0 lead against their bitter rivals, the Navy Midshipmen, heading into the fourth quarter of the 119th game between the two academies. Faced with a fourth-and-two situation, and having used the break between quarters to mull things over, Army coach Jeff Monken elected...
We Regret To Inform You That Jimmy Butler's Presence Has Frustrated Another Young Center
Something’s eating Joel Embiid. The 76ers center has seen a recent dip in form, with a string of mediocre performances that are a far cry from the MVP-like numbers he was putting up towards the beginning of the season. Over his last three games, he’s shot just 14-for-42 (1-for-9 from three), with hi...
This Shit Is Corny
You may have seen a quote from Giants star receiver Odell Beckham Jr. going around this morning, about the New York Giants’ chances of winning the rest of their games and making the playoffs at 9-7. “Six games left, it’s really only crazy until you do it,” Beckham told reporters, as if he were in a ...
Zion Williamson Spent Veterans Day Disrespecting The Troops
Veterans Day is a holiday meant to honor the veterans of this nation’s armed forces and the sacrifices they make. However, when entering the paint against Zion Williamson, this holiday gets brought to a momentary halt—you need to get that weak shit out of here, regardless of your status in the armed...
Report: Jimmy Butler Has Escaped Minnesota And Is Headed To The Sixers
It finally happened. The Minnesota Timberwolves have traded Jimmy Butler to the Philadelphia 76ers to put one of the most turbulent player sagas of the season behind them. The trade was outlined on Twitter by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Zach Lowe....
Something's Eating Karl-Anthony Towns
Something isn’t quite right in Minnesota, and it cannot be purely explained by Jimmy Butler’s abject buttitude. Right before the season started, Karl-Anthony Towns said, “This momentum we’re riding right now, this wave we’re riding, it’s not good. It’s not good at all.” When asked why the Wolves had...
Army Idiots Pranked Air Force By Jamming Their Live Mascots Into Crates
Before last Saturday’s Air Force-Army college football game, two dopey West Point cadets decided to prank their rivals by stealing their live mascots, which are falcons. Not knowing how to take care of an animal, these Army morons crammed the two birds into crates. It’s so unlike the military to use...