nan Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kumail Nanjiani
I moved to America from Pakistan at 18 to attend Grinnell College in Iowa. Came out of Chicago with a bunch of other talented comedians—Hannibal Buress, Jared Logan, and Brooke Van Poppelen. My jokes are usually observational: a lot of them have to do with pop culture, and they always end with a q...

Asthmatic 61-Year Old's Cuba-To-Florida Swim Torpedoed By Asthma
We brought you news yesterday of Diana Nyad, a 61-year-old woman who was trying to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. Nyad would have broken her own record for cage-free swims. Unfortunately, she only made it halfway before being hauled on to a support boat in the middle of the night wh...

Asthmatic 61-Year-Old Woman Tries To Be The First Person To Swim From Cuba To Florida Without A Shark Cage
Endurance swimmers are impressive extreme athletes. Swimming long distances is brutal. And bad bad things happen to you in the ocean. Especially when you're 61 and have asthma. Not that that bothers Diana Nyad, who's attempting to make it 103 miles from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. It's a f...

And You Thought Boosters Would Let Butch Davis Go Without A Lawsuit
Clearly we underestimated the value of two straight Meineke Car Care Bowls. But Butch Davis is something of a hero in Chapel Hill, where he took the Tar Heels from mediocrity to ACC Success, which we remind you is not the same as actual success....

Watch Nani's Pretty Half-Pitch Injury Time Goal To Clinch Manchester United's Comeback
This goal, from Nani, in stoppage time, is a triumph of all kinds of speed. Wayne Rooney ain't that fast....

Josh Gatt, 19-Year-Old American Soccer Player, Is Spending His Summer Break Shattering Ankles
Josh Gatt is a 19-year-old from Michigan. He graduated from high school last year and turned down a scholarship at Indiana to sign with Austrian club SC Rheindorf Altach in summer 2010. In January of this year, he joined Molde, a top-division squad in Norway. Today his first-place squad beat Start...

Bruce Pearl May Be Headed To The D-League
Former Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl is likely set to take over the Texas Legends, the Dallas Maverick's D-League affiliate that went 24-26 and made it to the playoffs in the 16-team, two-conference organization last season. ESPN's Marc Stein reported the team's initial invitation this afternoon, and ...

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

Cristiano Ronaldo Could End Up Being Seized By The European Central Bank
The financial situation in Europe is so screwed up that soccer players are being used as collateral. Bankia, a troubled seven-month-old Spanish banking group, is trying to shore up capital by going public and getting a big loan from the European Central Bank, the EU's equivalent of the Federal Reser...

Now You Can Watch US Women's Coach Pia Sundhage Sing Her Groovy Tunes
We ran a short item this morning on the musical stylings of Pia Sundhage, coach of the US Women's National Team. She sings to keep her players in line. We're told Joe Paterno does the same thing with Tony Bennett standards....

Erin Andrews: Haunted
Aggressive Women's Magazine Photographer: Okay, Erin, I've been told the headline on this story is "The Haunting of Erin Andrews" so I need you to look as haunted as possible for me, ok? Great! There it is! That's it. Work it. I need more haunt! MORE. YES. Gorgeous. Gasp, and then release. Eyes wide...

Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

Kawhi Leonard Is 11½ Inches
News 4 San Antonio is really, really excited about the size of Kawhi Leonard's hands. So much so that they put together this graphic comparing him to the newsroom, without bothering to specify what they're talking about....

Playing Left-Handed At Wimbledon Is As Big An Advantage As Playing Right-Handed
Today's New York Times reports from Wimbledon on the sneaky advantage that left-handed tennis players enjoy on grass:...

Dumb Kid Tells Erin Andrews He's Going To Watch Her Video; Erin Andrews Tells Dumb Kid Off
Erin Andrews was on-site to cover the College World Series this week last year when a young autograph-seeker — a 12-year-old boy, according to this YouTube user — yelled out from the stands, "I'm gonna watch your video tomorrow!" Andrews looked directly at him and took a few steps forward and aske...

Guess Which City Is Having A Pearl Jam Bobblehead Night?
The Seattle Mariners are hosting the Rays on Friday evening, and because they already had a bobblehead night for Felix Hernandez, they have no choice but to start honoring local grunge rockers. Friday night is Mike McCready night at Safeco Field, which also happens to overlap with a benefit night fo...

Chris Pronger Thinks He Is Not On Air, Says A "Shitfaced" Mike Keenan Once Stormed Gretzky's Hotel
Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger stopped by XM Radio's NHL Live studios in New York for a half-hour interview on Friday morning. For a brief interlude, the host threw things to their correspondent in Boston. But the mics remained hot, at least for a few minutes available in the NHL.com podcast edit...
