nan Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....
America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...
Disgraced Human Mascot Sleeping With The Enemy
"God Bless America" singer and Yankees good luck charm Ronan Tynan, who had to move out of New York after allegedly making anti-Semitic remarks, has swapped pinstripes for a Red Sox jersey. Can they take Giuliani too? [NECN]...
Erin Andrews and Dick Vitale Cut A Rug
EA is going to be doing it with the stars, and Dickie V is getting psyched for the Big one. So why not share a dance before yesterday's Duke/Miami game?...
Erin Andrews Will Not Be Part Of ESPN's NFL Draft
As we know, ESPN's Erin Andrews will be part of this year's Dancing With The Stars and, according to ESPN, her appearance on the show shouldn't interfere with her other WWL duties. However: no green room this year....
Newcastle Signs Peter Parker, Goblin Attacks Up 32%
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Erin Andrews Becomes A Star Who Someone Will Dance With
"Dancing With The Stars" announced that its lineup for next season will include America's Sideline Princess, because apparently all you have to do is ask and they'll let you on. It's a pretty good system ABC's got going on there....
New Mike And Mike Book "Enthralling," "Humanizes A Downtrodden, Long-Suffering People," Per Amazon
Either someone at Amazon is having a bit of sport with Fat Man and Little Boy's forthcoming Rules for Sports and Life, or the pair has written the definitive treatise on life in North Korea. [Amazon, see "Editorial Reviews"]...
Porn, Pancakes, Jon Kitna And Jesus: Go Ahead, Rank Them. You Can't.
Some lucky parishioners got a visit from Jon Kitna at a very special breakfast yesterday, called "Porn And Pancakes: NFL Style." It's precisely nothing like you're imagining....
Tailpipe: "He Didn't Seem The Least Bit Interested In Hugging Her Curves"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Stop The Presses: Detroit Preferable To Somewhere
Two Shock stars, fresh from signing contract extensions, have made it known they have no intention of joining the team in making the move to Tulsa. Apparently death was not an option. [AP]...
Erin Andrews Stalker Planned To Peep On Other Female Sports Reporters
According to the sentencing memorandum, Michael David Barrett had planned on ruining the lives of at least 30 other women — including other female sports reporters and actresses. Also, Andrews is asking for $335,000 in restitution. [TSG]...
Barry Bonds Keeping In Game Shape With Diet, Contempt For Public
Surprisingly, Dodgers fans were able to get between Bonds and his chicken and waffles, and still escape with their lives. One autograph hound, though, managed to touch a sore spot....
We Will All Work For Mario Lemieux One Day
Steel City patron saint Mario Lemieux and shady creepster Ron Burkle, co-owners of the Pittsburgh Penguins, approached the Pittsburgh Pirates with an "unsolicited offer" to buy the MLB team, according to the Post-Gazette. Yinzers, cross your fingers....
Last Night's Winner: No Comment
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers....
Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....
Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....
Alaskan Hockey Space Bear Is Back To Tear You A Brand New One
Who knows what terrible sin humanity committed against the Alaska Nanook, but that bear is irate. Okay, maybe we shouldn't have frozen him in the Arctic, but is that any excuse to destroy Planet Earth with a kick-ass '80s soundtrack?...