nas Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jimmie Johnson's Crew Chief: "You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me," To National Fox Audience
In all fairness, the car Chad Knaus was watching did appear to, you know, blow up at tonight's Coca-Cola 600. Johnson finished 28th. Kevin Harvick won, after Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was leading, ran out of gas on the last lap. I'm told it's quite expensive these days....

Your Royal Race Wedding/Coca-Cola 600 Open Thread
Linda Ward and Greg Waters met a year ago when fate pitched their tents in close proximity to one another at Charlotte Motor Speedway's Peninsula Campground. Yesterday, the gushing jail nurse and truck driver became one at their "Royal Race Wedding."...

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

George H.W. Bush Quiets Any Excitement Anyone Was Able To Muster For MLB All-Star Game
This may also mark the first time in H.W.'s 86 years on earth that he has uttered the phrase "dot-com." Go, Astros....

Here's Video Of A Field-Hopping Fan Eluding Astros Security
What's being dubbed "The Great Fan Escape" went down in the bottom of the ninth inning as Houston Astro Carlos Lee was trying to tie the game against the Mets. Both Lee and on-field security charged with keeping the Minute Maid Park field invader-free failed to do so....

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

Washington Wizards Have Brand New Jerseys, Hopefully A Brand New Game
The Washington Wizards unveiled their Bullets- and nation-inspired new logos and uniforms in D.C. today. They're red, white, and blue, because of America, which team president Ernie Grunfeld says "our players love... It's appropriate that the Wizards, Mystics and Capitals now share their colors and ...

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Two second-round games tonight for your viewing pleasure: Caps and Lightning, which appears on your Versus right about now, and the Canucks and Preds, which will be on at nine, 10 p.m. Halifax time....

So It's Come To This: They're Having A Debate About The Green Men
The hockey playoffs are long. Finding storylines to pass the time are key to getting through the two months. That said, I still can't believe anyone, anywhere is getting their panties in a bunch over the Spandex-wearing superfans of Vancouver....

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

Your "They Very Well Can't Hold The Crown Royal 400 On The Lord's Day" Open Thread
NASCAR's on tonight. Playoff basketball isn't. The race starting in Richmond, Va. at 7 p.m. isn't the Bubba Burger 250. Hometown hero Denny Hamlin won that last night. Tonight's event is called the "Crown Royal 400."...

Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal
Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding....

Manny Ramirez Isn't Really Going Away
Perhaps you thought Manny Ramirez had faded away into that flickering twilight, where we'd reminisce about what a truly spectacular athlete he was. Some folks, Joe Posnanski foremost among them, would argue for Manny's Hall of Fame credentials, while others would want him nowhere near Cooperstown....

This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

An Analysis Of Steve Nash's Emotions As He Becomes The Latest Nicki Minaj Lap Dance Victim
First, Chris Paul. Now, Steve Nash. Is no point guard safe from Nicki Minaj's candy-colored backside? Regard Nash's face as he receives a "lapdance" from the songstress last night at U.S. Airways Center. There is much to learn here about human behavior....

The Good, The Bad, And The Doughnuts
Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts....