nas Page 123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Give Him NASCAR Tickets or Give Him Death
Michael Lynn Sherer had the whole world in his hands. He busted out of prison. He had a gun. And, some obligin' folk near the NASCAR track in Atlanta gladly swapped a pair of race tickets for weaponry....

Tortillas Banned From Texas School Celebrations
Tonight, Texas A&M-Kingsville kicks off the season at Northwest Missouri State, in a continuance of the epic D-II rivalry. (Maybe. I don't know.) One mainstay that will be absent: the traditional Tossing Of The Tortillas after Kingsville touchdowns....

Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Moment Of Auto-Erotica: "Oh, How He Tempted Her."
We recently discovered—but then forget—the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Chivalry Is Dead: Man Ducks Foul Ball Before It Hits Girlfriend
You've got three options when confronted with a liner: catch it, protect your seatmates, or dive for cover as it ricochets off the woman you love. Astros fan Bo chose that last one....

World Sauna Championships End In Death
The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]...

Miami Bound Cavs Star Thanks Cleveland Fans. Not <em>That</em> One, Obviously.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas took out a full page ad in yesterday's Plain Dealer, thanking the fans for his time spent in Cleveland. It's a nice gesture, but why does the wording leave an odd taste in our mouths?...

Cheez Doodle Inventor Mourned By One Solitary Sportswriter
The inventor of the Cheez Doodle died last week. Stephen A. Smith was seen laying a single orange rose on his grave....

Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal? Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal.
When you're emailed a picture with the subject line "Mets game tonight" and the body reads "Banana suit" and the text is highlighted, you post the picture of the man wearing a banana suit using the urinal at Citi Field....

Cancel Christmas, Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't Getting Married!
At least twenty minutes this morning have been spent scooping oozing chunks of warm egg from The Spoiler's face. Not an embarrassing breakfast mishap, you understand, but a clever metaphor....

Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....

Jeff Gordon's Ex-Wife Being Sued For Naming Her Son After Him
James Dixon, the father of Brooke Gordon's 1-year-old, has taken her to court, demanding child support and that he have Dixon's last name instead of "Gordon." Dixon should be happy: without Jeff Gordon, Brooke wouldn't have any money to give. [Scene Daily]...

When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....

Unemployed Wide Receiver: If I Was LeBron, I'd Be An Employed Wide Receiver
Let's be honest: Cleveland wasn't The Decision's biggest victim. Terrell Owens was. Don't believe me? Just interrupt Terrell Owens from his driveway sit-ups regimen and ask Terrell Owens yourself. That's what 104.5 The Zone radio in Nashville did the other day. For its 3 Hour Lunch....

IT'S A LOCK: LEBRON GOING TO MIAMI, SAYS...STEPHEN A. SMITH
"For the record: I haven't changed my position. Learn [sic] is going to MIAMI. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong damn it. Stop bugging me until he speaks." [@stephenasmith, image via deviantART]...

Deadspin Classic: Our Field Trip To <em>Quite Frankly</em>
Stephen A. Smith and the Philadelphia Inquirer recently parted ways for a second time. Let's remember the good ol' days, when Stephen A. was an emphatic, multi-platform media nuisance, and Will Leitch was just another guy in his studio audience....

Stephen A. Smith, <em>Philadelphia Inquirer</em> Divorcing For Second Time
The print comeback of Stephen A. Smith has derailed again, as his brief return to the Philadelphia Inquirer as a columinzer is now finished. Mutually. Respectfully. Quite frankly. Statements and farewells from all parties involved after the jump....

Realistic Memphis Fan Resigned To His Fate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Classic: Heckling Stephen A. Without Mercy
The NBA Draft is tonight, and one's mind casts back to its finer moments: the dog-eared envelope; the fire engine worn by Jalen Rose; and of course the night in 2006 that Stephen A. Smith was heckled and heckled and heckled....