nba Page 245 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Jimmy Butler Showed Up At Timberwolves Practice To Humiliate The Stars And Yell At The GM
After faltering over the weekend, trade talks between the Timberwolves and Heat are reportedly back in action. Jimmy Butler, the player at the center of those talks who has been conspicuously avoiding his colleagues and who demanded to be shipped out of town by Friday, returned to Minnesota’s practi...
Udonis Haslem Sues Animal Hospital For Denying Him His Rightful Dog Semen
Longtime Miami Heat big man Udonis Haslem—present tense, as Haslem is still on the active roster despite averaging less than a point per game in 14 appearances last year—is suing a Florida animal hospital and one of its doctors for castrating his prized show dog, thus denying the three-time NBA cham...
Steve Kerr Says "I Don't Want To Be Here," Gets Ejected, Waves Goodbye
The Warriors left Klay Thompson and Draymond Green out of Monday’s preseason game against the Suns. Who cares! No team maybe ever has had any less use for the preseason than the 2018-2019 Golden State Warriors. Steve Kerr knows this. Watch him thank the referees for hitting him with technical fouls ...
Here Are All Five Of Mason Crosby’s Missed Kicks Today
The Lions beat the Packers today, 31-23. They got a bit of help from the Packers’ kicker, Mason Crosby, who missed five kicks that could’ve totaled 13 points....
J.R. Smith And Marcus Smart Are Keeping The Cavs-Celtics Rivalry Alive And Well
The NBA season doesn’t start for another nine days, but J.R. Smith and Marcus Smart are already back on their bullshit. In the first quarter(!) of last night’s Cavs-Celtics preseason game, Aron Baynes and J.R. Smith got into a scuffle when Baynes appeared to try and pull a Kelly Olynyk on Smith’s sh...
Report: Potential NBA Expansion To Seattle May Not Happen Until 2025 At The Earliest
The Golden State Warriors and the Sacramento Kings played the NBA’s first game in Seattle since 2008, when the team was relocated and rebranded as the Oklahoma City Thunder. To the optimistic former Supersonics fan, this could be interpreted as a sign that the NBA is looking closely at the northwest...
Kyrie Irving Says He Intends To Re-Sign In Boston Next Summer
Rotten news, Knicks fans: Kyrie Irving told an assembly of Celtics season ticket holders that he plans to return to Boston in free agency in summer 2019. And if you’re clinging to the hope that he was just saying that to ingratiate himself with Celtics diehards, he went into greater detail Friday at...
Report: Mavericks Report Omitted Name Of Employee Who Sexually Harassed Colleagues
The investigators tasked with studying sexual harassment at the Dallas Mavericks say they interviewed 215 current and former employees and reviewed 1.6 million documents before releasing their 43-page report two weeks ago. But after all that, one name was still absent from the report, surprising som...
J.R. Smith Will Give Fan $600 For Tossing His Phone Into Construction Site
Cavaliers guard J.R. Smith, who will be startled some time in late November when he realizes he has inbounded the ball to Collin Sexton and not LeBron James, will pay a fan $600 after hurling the man’s phone into a Manhattan construction zone in late July. ...
Aaron Rodgers Is Taking Shots At Mike McCarthy Again
That thing is happening again, where everyone is wondering if there’s some serious internal discord plaguing the Green Bay Packers. Eyebrows were raised when after Green Bay’s 22-0 victory over Buffalo, a game in which the Packers did not play as well as the score indicates, quarterback Aaron Rodger...
Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet?
Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is a body-care guru now. Partnering with a pair of business-bro whipdicks and a smattering of pro athletes, including NBA MVP James Harden, he’s launching a line of beauty products for athletes and men who want to pretend they are athletes. Here’s a link to an article about...
No One Involved In Putting Malik Monk Into Hornets Preseason Game Notices He Isn't Wearing A Jersey
Things like this will not help to defeat the perception that second-year Hornets guard Malik Monk is destined to settle in as a J.R. Smith/Nick Young-style NBA eccentric: ...
<i>WWE Raw</i> Segment Goes Off The Rails When Seattle Crowd Won’t Stop Booing SuperSonics Joke
Denigrating the city in which an event is being held is one of the oldest and most reliable ways for a pro wrestler to get heat. It’s probably pretty cheap, honestly, but who cares. It’s easy to rip on a city’s sports teams, but there’s a reason wrestlers still do it: It generally works....
Ron Baker Sucked A Contact Lens And Then Put It Right In His Damn Eye<em></em>
Ron Baker played 17 mostly second-half minutes in Monday night’s Knicks preseason game, which went to overtime. It was in overtime, with just under a minute left, when Baker was whacked in the face by Wizards rookie Troy Brown and had his contact lens dislodged. Lacking a few drops of nice clean sal...
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan Thompson ran his mouth about the LeBron-less Cavs still being the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Also last week Markieff Morris felt it sensible to declare that the Boston C...
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
<i>NBA 2K19</i>'s Brand Humping Is Craven, Shameless, And Straight-Up Evil
If you have read anything about the NBA 2K series in the past couple years, then you know that its centerpiece “MyCareer” mode, in which you guide a custom-created fledgling NBA player to stardom, is a hyper-branded, microtransaction-choked nightmare all but explicitly designed to pressure human pla...
LeBron, In A Lakers Uniform, Doing LeBron Stuff
The Los Angeles Lakers opened their preseason last night in San Diego. Who cares! I don’t care. The NBA should shut up for at least another couple weeks. Did they win? Who were their opponents? Who led them in scoring? Don’t care!...