nba Page 720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ron Artest Politely Asks Blog Critic To Fellate Something
Writing an "open letter" to Ron Artest demanding that he clean up his act and then emailing it to him seemed like such a good idea. Who could have guessed Artest would respond with, "Suck a cock"?...

Lamar Odom's Biological Clock Must Be Ticking
We knew Lamar Odom was impetuous, but just how impetuous? Try proposing marriage to this woman (and getting rejected) just a week before hooking up with Khloe Kardashian....

Disturbed Prop-Wielding Fanbase Enjoys Slightly Important Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Get Ready To Favre Your Favren' Brains Out
Obviously, there's nothing left to be said about tonight's BIGGEST GAME EVER. (At least until next month when they play again in Green Bay. That might get some press, too.)...

Cavs Hero Banned From Scrimmage, Exiled From Bartertown
LeBron can make a movie and Shaq can spend the summer boxing kangaroos, but Delonte West has to sit out today's Cavs scrimmage, just because his reality show, Delonte West Beyond Thunderdome, didn't have any cameras or anything....

Jayson Williams Walks Into A Bar…
I like to support small business, and Marshall Stack, the tavern directly opposite my apartment building, is no exception. But a few weeks ago the "Stack," as regulars call it, received a visit from a truly exceptional man....

The Strangest Dirk Nowitzki Story You'll Ever Read
Deadspin presents to you a look at the burgeoning genre of Dirk Nowitzki fiction. Featuring homoerotic thoughts about Steve Nash, a Christ complex, and Oedipal musings. We are through the looking glass here, people....

Please Wipe Down The Rim After Dunking
According to the Boston Herald, the NBA has issued "an anti-handshake" directive, asking players to fist or chest bump each other to combat swine flu. Also, please use a handkerchief when boxing out. [Herald/NoGutsNoGlory]...

It's Business As Usual For Insane Wizards
Nick Young thinking he's James Brown. Mike James barking like a dog. The entire team Hula'ing invisible hoops. Yes, there was a hypnotist at training camp, but no one would be shocked if there hadn't been. [WaPo]...

You, Too, Can Absorb Blake Griffin's Power
Sports memorabilia blogger Andrew Long certainly thought so. So he met up with Griffin at an organized autograph session and presented him with a delicious sandwich. Griffin graciously signed both halves and then Long devoured one, believing that Blake's lifeforce, transferred via bread, will bestow...

Seats For Steve Kerr and 7,000 Of His Closest Friends
Yes, I know we're getting a little women's basketball-y tonight. But it's the first game of the WNBA Finals! See that packed house in Phoenix? Here's a tip: a lot of those people aren't exactly paying customers....

Doomed-To-Fail Sham Marriage Still Has Some Loose Ends
The Lakers' Lamar Odom and The Other Kardashian sister are not legally married until a pre-nup is signed. It's just a precaution, because we all know these two will be eternally bonded for a good six-to-eight months. [TMZ]...

A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...

Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...

Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...

The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...

Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....

There's One In Every Crowd
A desperate Wisconsin Badger fan that is. He will do whatever it takes to draw attention to himself, even if that means buying tickets for 100 Midshipmen to be his personal bodyguards. (Click to embiggen.)...

Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...

Russian Dude Will Build Arena, Buy Nets, Annex New Jersey (UPDATE)
Russian basketboligarch Mikhail Prokhorov has gone from maybe chipping in a few dollars to build a new arena for the Nets to offering to take over the whole dang team—and maybe the entire NBA while he's at it....