nba Page 769 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......
Message To This Kid's Future Defense Attorney: Blame Name or Haircut
This unfortunate youngster, other than being forced by parental duress to sport the bowl cut, was born unto a couple of deranged Spurs fans. How unhinged, exactly? Instead of buying a team photo or something to encapsulate their love for the team, they decided to put the whole roster into their kid'...
To Watch Tonight...
What to watch while remembering you let your kid play in the tree house too long......
K-Mart Pokes The Mamba
With the not-at-all close Lakers-Nuggets series coming to Denver for Game 3 this afternoon, Kenyon Martin has seen fit to provoke Kobe, who dropped 49 and 10 on the Nuggets in Game 2. Martin says it's "better to be pissed off than pissed on." That's the voice of experience talking....
Break Out The Head Paint: Sixers Win <i>Again</i>!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would be getting more sleep this weekend if the destruction of the Suns wasn't keeping him up at night. When he's not hating the absolute living hell out of the Spurs, he can be found stabbing his Tony Parker voodoo doll at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Wait...w...
NBA Playoffs: A Friday Night Viewer's Guide
It's Friday. Take a break from thinking for yourself and let me tell you what to pay attention to during tonight's games....
Byron Scott's Son Is Doing His Best To Support His Pops
We're still a little surprised that the New Orleans haven't caught on nationally quite yet. The Saints were an amazing, inspiring story that united the country (other than Eagles fans, of course), but the Hornets still just seem to glide past, with people still not quite aware of what Chris Paul is...
NBA Playoff Underdogs Strike Back!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was glad to see that Pat Riley's 20/20 Rule was in full effect for the Cavs-Wizards game. When he's not drawing attention to these obscure coaching references, he can be found filing his nails at Basketbawful. Enjoy! This is all Tracy McGrady's fault. A...
Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Finally Gets His Wings
Howard Stern fans will know Kenneth Keith Kallenbach for his lifelong membership as one of the "Wack Pack" and his odd, disturbing, unfunny bits as the stoner kid with the big dreams that would never amount to anything. A Philadelphia area native and Phillies fan, Kallenbach was one of those "comedi...
NBA Playoffs: A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
There are still many unanswered questions about the world in which we live, but science has proven two things: Hot chicks rule (see above) and it becomes increasingly difficult to think the closer we get to the weekend. So I'm here to let you know what you should look out for in tonight's NBA playof...
As If The Mavericks Don't Have Enough Problems
From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits a...
Tracy McGrady Is The Reason You Sometimes Feel Lonely
The Tracy McGrady death watch will continue tonight in Salt Lake City, where authorities are planning a raid on the McGrady compound after reports of multiple episodes of martyrdom. It's all getting ugly for Tracy....
Don't Make Them Angry. You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angry
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait for the new Hulk movie and thinks Edward Nortan is the perfect heir to Bill Bixby. When he's not watching NBA officials river dance, he can be found admiring Roger Mason's superhuman strength at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're finally awake now....
Three Presumed Mismatches In NBA Playoffs Tonight
If the 76ers hadn't pulled off that Game 1 upset in Auburn Hills, tonight's NBA Playoff games would have the feel of a night off. The Celtics were terrifying against the Hawks in Game One and seem unlikely to remain so. The Lakers appears well on their way to continuing Allen Iverson's enobling fail...
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
Cuban's Sanity Is In Peril, And Hey: Suns-Spurs Again!
As tends to be the case in these NBA playoffs, the Eastern Conference game tonight, between the Raptors and the Magic, is so skipable to sports fans that it might as well be a hockey game. (Sorry!) The Western Conference drama is engulfing it all....
Catch New Jersey Nets Playoff Excitement!
It wasn't the best season for the New Jersey Nets — but hey, Vince Carter is still around! — but that's not stopping the Nets from maximizing all corporate sponsorship opportunities....
Raging Bull: More Trouble For Chicago's NBA Mascot
As we learned with this whole ugly Isiah Thomas thing, every NBA owner has his tipping point. Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf just may have reached his. It's the story you've heard so many times before: Colorful Bulls mascot Benny the Bull is being sued by an oral surgeon for an aggressive high-...
Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...
Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...