new Page 1059 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....
David Ortiz Got His Fucking RBI After All
Remember when David Ortiz barged into Terry Francona's press conference and demanded an RBI that had been stricken from the record books? Well, he's gotten it back, Scoggins be damned:...
Wanted: Boston-Area Roommate For High-Strung Veteran Wide Receiver Who Tweets A Lot
Chad Ochocinco, most recently in love with his quarterback: young, fetching Thomas Brady, needs a roommate in Boston. He wants a big Patriots fan, perhaps a real-life Tommy from Quinzee:...
Another Golfer Says Steve Williams Violated The Caddie Code
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Paul Azinger knows golf has unwritten rules too....
Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does
This photo comes from tipster Michael, who says he took it backstage at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony over the weekend. Afterward, Sharpe delivered a great speech....
Shaq's New Girlfriend Is Admirably Comically Sized (UPDATE: This Is How They Kiss)
Maybe she could fit inside one of his long jean short legs?...
Envisioning The Death Of The NBA
I have a lingering personal defect, which is that I always, without fail, overestimate the power of both staplers and hole punchers. If I have a stack of 50 pages that I need stapled and I see a tinyass Swingline stapler and I'm like, "NO PROBLEMO." Then I go to staple the pages together and the sta...
The Mets Are Now Losing The Ability To Stand Upright
The Mets reached .500 with a 9-8 win over the Padres last night. They're now 57-57 and a mere 17.5 games out of first in the NL East. But on the second batter he faced, starter Mike Pelfrey did not inspire appropriate confidence for the 21,000 who made it out to Citi Field. We'll consider it just ...
Grabby Arena Football Fan Draws A Flag
Arena football is different. It's the kind of sport where a fan reaches out of the seats to bodily prevent an opposing player from returning a kickoff. And more tellingly, it's the kind of sport where the home team's players then go over to congratulate the fan for interfering with play....
Some Rockets Are Just More Impressive Than Others
Your morning roundup for Aug. 9, the day we decided not to bid on the Marilyn Monroe sex tape. H/T to Gordon for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Yup, This Is Bill Simmons' Mustache
Simmons debuted the above fuzz while guest hosting Pardon the Interruption today....
We Want To Know Why Your College Sucks
Dear loyal Deadspin readers,...
Tim Tebow's Backwards Baseball Cap Is Serious Business
Broncos fans, you are amazing. Amazing....
The Kansas City Royals Tarp Crew Is More Entertaining Than The Kansas City Royals
Speed and agility are probably not absolute requirements for employment on the Kansas City grounds crew, but they may come in handy during life- and pride-threatening situations such as this one. Grace, however, does not seem to be in high demand....
Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....
Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...
In 1995, An ESPN Cameraman Captured Fenway Fans Having An Over-The-Jorts Three-Way (UPDATE)
Oh, 1997. Back when we thought murdering Vince Foster was the worst our government could do. Back when we could watch both Mad About You and Caroline in the City. Back when the Red Sox were so mediocre and uninteresting that over-the-jorts horndoggery could occur in a half-empty Fenway Park. These ...
Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....
Watch Nani's Pretty Half-Pitch Injury Time Goal To Clinch Manchester United's Comeback
This goal, from Nani, in stoppage time, is a triumph of all kinds of speed. Wayne Rooney ain't that fast....
Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....