new Page 1079 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Four Last-Minute Delusions Around The NBA Draft
Basketball Has A Bright Future In The Garden State: Oh, Newark. Newark. The Nets got tired of looking at New Jersey, filed for divorce, and moved out of the Meadowlands. Brooklyn is so much richer, more sophisticated-it's just a better match. Don't you want the Nets to be happy? Oh, but Brooklyn's p...
Of Course The Pill-Popping Couple Charged With Four Pharmacy Murders Got Engaged At An Islanders Game
Per the New York Daily News, "A pill-popping, gun-loving Army vet and his junkie wife were charged Wednesday night in the cold-blooded massacre of four innocent people at a Long Island pharmacy. David Laffer and Melinda Brady were hauled out of his mother's Medford, L.I., house in handcuffs after h...
A Sketchbook Of A Season With The Mets
Not because we're particular fans of the Mets, but because we're fans of the dying art of sports cartooning. Over at MyMetsJournal, Joe Petruccio is doing a drawing for every game of the 2011 Mets season, and they're superlative. [My Mets Journal]...
These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...
Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...
Too <em>Moneyball</em> For Their Own Good: How The Mets Screwed Up The Kazmir Trade
The Angels released Scott Kazmir on Wednesday, and we had seen it coming for years. Hitters clobbered Kazmir in 2009, 2010, and, in his one 2011 start. He lost his control and velocity simultaneously, and stopped striking hitters out....
Saggy Pants Lead To College Football Player's Arrest In City Where Basically Everything Is Legal
Deshon Marman, a 20-year-old on the University of New Mexico football team, was arrested at San Francisco Airport yesterday after he refused to pull up his pants on an airplane:...
David Einhorn Can Control The Mets For A Dollar, And Other Bad Omens For The Wilpons
When we last touched on the terms of the new Mets ownership deal, there was enough information to make fun of the Mets, but a key detail was missing. We knew that David Einhorn had essentially agreed to loan the Wilpons $200 million dollars in exchange for a third of the team until the loan was paid...
Dick Vitale Is Not The Dick Vitale That's Been Slandering Superintendent Nelson In <em>The Conway Daily Sun</em>
A few things to clear up, America: ESPN's Dick Vitale has never been to North Conway, New Hampshire, and he harbors no resentment for the Conway School District superintendent, Carl Nelson. This contention was at long last cleared up last week, when Lorraine Vitale did a standard Google search for h...
The Chris Sheridan-Peter Vecsey Blood Feud Enters Court, Hilariously
Journalism fight! Journalism fight! Let's all throw spicy language and felt-tip pens at one another! Yesterday, ESPN's Chris Sheridan sued the New York Post's Peter Vecsey and his employer for libel in NY State Supreme Court. The bone of contention was a "scandalous diatribe" (to quote the complaint...
Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....
Premature Jocularity At Home Plate Costs Would-Be Winners State
One young man thought he was coming home with the winning run in extra innings of a Connecticut State Championship. In his rush to celebrate, he missed touching home. His team would go on to lose....
<i>NY Daily News</i> Stretches "NFL Star" To Its Breaking Point
Here's the headline in today's New York Daily News: "Bret Lockett and Kim Kardashian? NFL star comes clean: ‘I never met Kim, but we sexted'." This is a report following up on In Touch's headline: "Five-month affair with NFL star Bret Lockett behind fiancé's back."...
New Jersey Man Threatens Lawsuit Because His Daughter Didn't Make The All-County Softball First Team
A high school softball player hits .571 (which was not, by the way, the best average on her team) with nine homers and 46 RBI, and she doesn't make the all-state team. Tough shit, homegirl, most would say. We've all had our disappointments, especially in high school. But our fathers never sued....
Excitement, Anticipation As Jeter Approaches 2,354-Games-Played Milestone
If the weather holds up tonight, Derek Jeter will play in his 2,354th major league game, passing Jose Cruz and moving into a tie for 90th on the all-time list. Cruz, the outfielder who spent most of his 19-year career in Houston, last played in 1988....
Here's LeBron James And Dwyane Wade Mocking Dirk Nowitzki Before Last Night's Game
From CBS Dallas, cameras caught James and Wade leaving their shootaround showing all signs of being sick with the flu. Or perhaps poking fun at Dirk's 102-degree fever in game 4. For the record, LeBron, Wade and Dirk all had excellent games last night....
Yankee Fans, Forever Alone
Your morning roundup for June 10, the day we went swimsuit shopping. Image via Scott....
Joba Will Be Neithuh Startuh Nor Relievuh Fuh A While
Everybody's favorite so-so Yankee swingman, Joba Chamberlain, was diagnosed today with a torn elbow ligament that will likely require Tommy John surgery....
Milwaukee's Nyjer Morgan Provides The Post-Game Interview Of The Season
Nyjer Morgan, the most glorious weirdo in Major League Baseball, put the Mets away with a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee last night. In his post-game interview with Fox Sports Wisconsin, Prince Fielder provided Morgan with a Gatorade bath, which this time around consisted ...
Charles Barkley: "Miami Has The Worst Fans"
Charles Barkley continued his righteous public crusade against all things Miami Heat today, when he spoke to the "Waddle & Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000. Nothing revolutionary here, just the special vindication that comes with hearing someone with a national audience say things that said audience has b...