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Last Night's Winner: Curtis Granderson
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curtis Granderson, who no longer has to carry the hopes and dreams of a shattered city on his shoulders. Plus, there's less running to do....

That One Line In "Empire State Of Mind" About Dwyane Wade And LeBron James, Explained
"If Jeezy's paying LeBron," Jay-Z raps, "I'm paying Dwyane Wade." As David Cho points out, the reference is to the price of a kilogram of cocaine, not, as is commonly thought, to a drawing by John Lennon's kid. [The Awl]...

Guns, Booze, and Saints Fans: A Drama In One Act
Even if this turns out to be a viral video for Smith and Wesson, you kind of know this really happened somewhere in Louisiana, right? [YouTube, thanks Ed!]...

Brendan Witt Is Probable (Car Accident)
The Islanders defenseman was hit by a truck while walking in Philadelphia today, but refused medical treatment and will be in the lineup tonight. He also visited the zoo and beat up a gorilla that looked at him funny. [Newsday/TSN]...

Joakim Noah To LeBron James: "You're A Jerk"
Last night's Cavs-Bulls game was marked by an argument between LeBron James and Joakim Noah, occasioned by King James dancing on the sidelines during Cleveland's 101-87 win. The b-word was apparently thrown, ooh!...

Just Be Thankful It's Not Cablevision
Dan Shanoff fantasizes about a world in which Comcast-NBC is an "online sports juggernaut" and Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, and Tommy Craggs do trust falls at the company picnic. [Dan Shanoff / Pic via]...

Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....

A Nets Liveblog, Because I Hate Myself
On the brink of history, the 0-17 Nets take on the Mavericks. Check in regularly for updates on the game, and my eroding sanity....

Last Night's Winner: Mike D'Antoni
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike D'Antoni, whose Rich Little version of the Suns ran the real thing out of Madison Square Garden last night....

New York Sports Synergy Becoming Unbearable
First Patrick Ewing wants to coach the Nets. Then Joe Girardi gives sliding lessons to Mark Sanchez. All we need is Mike Piazza sharing style tips with Sean Avery, and the circle will be complete. [NY Post / AP]...

Tiger's "Other Woman" Says Affair Story Is "Ridiculous"
The New York Post landed an exclusive interview with Rachel Uchitel, the woman accused of having an affair with Tiger Woods, as far as angry vehement denials go this is a pretty good one....

Last Night's Winner: Louisiana Building Contractors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New Orleans Saints, who smashed through the New England Patriots like they were an un-reinforced levee....

Pats-Saints: Your Open Thread
Sean Payton compared Bill Belichick's Patriots to Microsoft in a nice way. Belichick talked wistfully about deep-sea fishing with Payton. At some point tonight, the two men will hop off the tandem bike and coach a very important football game....

The Nets And You, You Big Loser
So, Lawrence Frank, fired by New Jersey. Is sparing a coach the notoriety of completing a historic losing streak doing him a favor, or just rubbing salt in the wound?...

Chris Bosh's Groin Is Probably Sore Today
Paul Pierce posterized Chris Bosh on a dunk during Boston's 116-103 victory over Toronto yesterday. In the process, Pierce kneed Bosh in the groin and then was assessed a foul for taunting. And no Raptors teammate appeared to care....

The New Jersey Nets Are Not Very Good At Basketball
The Nets are now sitting at 0-16 after losing to the Sacramento Kings 109-96 Friday night, leaving them one loss shy of tying the NBA record for season-opening futility, previously accomplished by the Heat (1988) and Clippers (1999)....

Ex-Knick Finds Out That Crack Can Kill
Dean Meminger is in critical condition after a fire that investigators say was caused by a crack pipe. Several recently-used crack pipes were found in Meminger's apartment. Ruh-roh....