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David Wells Thinks The People Of Philadelphia Are A Bunch Of Meanie-Weenies
Geez, I guess they'll let anyone write for the New York Post. David Wells, in a column I would describe as "portly," because, well, for no reason, shares some of his experiences interacting with the wonderful, friendly people from Philadelphia....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Yankee Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Yankee Fucking Stadium....

DENTAL PLAN! (Girardi Needs Braces!)
Take a close look at Joe Girardi's mouth. Why would a grown man wear braces, specifically during the one month of his life when he's most likely to be on national TV? A pretty sweet reason, actually....

World Series, Game Two: Can't Find A Better Yankee?
Pearl Jam is spending this week in residence at the Spectrum and conveniently offering "ring girl" updates for grungy Phillies fans who temporarily chose rock over baseball. Sell outs....

2009 World Series, Game One: It Begins
It's time to start the Greatest World Series Matchup Ever Imagined. Unless you hate the Yankees. Or the Phillies. Or Derek Jeter. Or if you're from Cleveland. But everyone else is going to love it....

A Breakdown Of Feigned Rivalry
It's been two whole news cycles since we found out the World Series matchup. Time for every paper in each city to take childish potshots at the other side....

Antoine Walker Did Not Manage His Money Well
In 12 years, Antoine Walker made roughly 55 million NBA dollars (after taxes, but not counting endorsement deals.) Yet, he has over $4 million in unpaid debts and faces felony check fraud charges. How the hell did that happen?...

Do You Believe In Omens?
If you do, I hope you're not a Yankee fan like me. Because the cracks are starting to show....

Peja Stojakovic Has Some 'Splainin To Do
The Hornets star was in Los Angeles on Friday. I know this not from looking at the schedule, but from the Tweets - and video - of a porn star who claimed she met him. Intimately....

Is This Hubris, Or Did They Play Game 6 And Not Tell Anyone?
You'd think this would be a bigger story. Apparently they decided to play baseball last night after all, and the Yankees won. Huh....

Lord Brady Mingles With The Commoners
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Um, Gotta Support The Team?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

<em>Chicago Trib</em> Begins Overhaul Of Sports Section With Some Two-Fisted Memo Writing
"Much like the Cubune myth, the conventional wisdom among some in Chicago has been that our pals across the way have the better Sports section. ... Pardon the Hoosier in me rising up, but that's bull shit." [Romenesko]...

Dolphins Aim To Keep Saints From Touching Themselves Further
Miami linebacker Channing Crowder muses about this weekend's opponent, New Orleans: "They're undefeated, they're probably smelling themselves, rubbing each other's balls." Except the Miami Herald changed the quote to "[back]." Yeah, that's basically the same thing. [Herald/Twitter]...

Yankees' Loss Inspires Frantic Search For New Small-Sample-Size Scapegoat
The Yankees lost 7-6 yesterday, and if it wasn't Girardi's fault, it was Burnett's fault or Hughes' fault or Swisher's fault, three men demonstrating an unmanly lack of clutch, unlike the New York media's new darling of clutch, Alex Rodriguez....

Adrian Peterson's Crotch Welcomes You To New York
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

<i>New York Post</i> Continues Full Court Steve Phillips Press
Day Two of the Steve Phillips Saga and the New York Post has you covered, with more dirt, plus a primer on how to bang interns without them going psycho on you. They do it because they care....

Buy Your Very Own New Jersey Net!
Ok, really it's rent to own. But if you need a large man with questionable basketball skills to come to your birthday party, bar mitzvah—or you just need some boxes moved—the New Jersey Nets can arrange that....

A Season Of Failure, Cont'd
Good news: This now looks to be a touch overstated. Mets owners actually made about $48 million in dealings with Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff. Bad news: They're probably going to have to return the money. [Bloomberg]...