new Page 1127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Rodriguez Image Rehabilitation Tour Continues
The non-shocking news that Sammy Sosa is a cheater is so outrageous (not really) that it almost makes you forget about....what's his name? Maybe this Yankee baseball player with the soft and supple handshake will distract you from all that....

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....

The Mets Do What The Mets, Pressured Third Graders Do
Luis Castillo is now the face of the New York Mets' misery. All he had to do was catch that popup, and we're not talking about him....

Finally, Suffering In Shea Stadium Can Be Monetized
Shea Stadium's three-ton wrecking ball, the one that would look great on the mantle? It's up for auction. Starting price: $35,000, the cost of a seat at Yankee Stadium, give or take. Free shipping, too. [Home Run Derby]...

Your Occasional Update On Witchcraft Tomfoolery In The AL East
A Boston-based Yankees fan litters grass from Yankee Stadium in Fenway Park to jinx the Sox, and the construction worker who planted a Boston jersey in the Bronx claims his hex is working. In his magical kingdom, maybe. [NY Post]...

Seeking Soccer Aficionados With $140 Million To Spare
"The Board of Newcastle United can today confirm that the Club is for sale at the price of £100m. Interested parties should contact Newcastle United at [email protected] (or Keith Harris at Seymour Pierce) for further details." [The Sun]...

Somebody Should Greenlight Sean Payton's Brilliant Movie Immediately
Thanks to Fan IQ (via Times-Picayune), we've been alerted to the boyish Saints head coach's creative aspirations and the movie script he's shopping tentatively titled "The Xbox Kid."...

Tiki Barber's Dream Of TV Omnipresence Deferred
Tiki was once hailed by NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker as a "one of those rare personalities who appeals to virtually every audience imaginable." Every audience except a football audience, that is....

Jeremy Shockey's Not Here To Talk About The Passed Out
It's been a little more than two weeks since Saints' tight end Jeremy Shockey's alcohol-assisted dehydration issues resulted in him getting carted away by paramedics from Rehab, the notorious Vegas day-after-hangover hangout. He's finally talking about it....

Today In Mets Health Calamities
Jose Reyes out indefinitely with a torn hamstring tendon. Also: Johan Santana contracts scarlet fever, team forced to burn down Citi Field to avoid contamination. [New York Daily News]...

The Problem With Wang
All right that's enough, people. Chien-Ming Wang (pronounced "wong," by the way) has been in the major leagues five seasons now and it has been well established that his surname is an English euphemism for "penis." Ha ha, very funny....

John Sterling Still Struggling To Learn Yankees Lineup
"Voice of the Yankees" (as long as you don't own a TV) John Sterling has a made another memorable home run call. Mostly because he used his signature Alex Rodriguez-based "catchpharse" to celebrate a dinger by Hideki Matsui....

Tom Brady Even Heals Better Than A Normal Person
Brady's surgeon on the quarterback's rehab: "With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it. With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back." Sweet jeebus, who is this guy? Wolverine? [LA Times]...

The Rehabilitation Of Jim Leyritz Continues Apace, One Minor League Promotion At A Time
Get out your autograph books, kids — it's Legends Sunday at the Newark Bears' ballpark, and guess who'll be there! Why, none other than Jim "Jimmy" Leyritz, the legend on trial for vehicular manslaughter!...

An Unbelievable Bunch Of Crap
A New Jersey grandmother playing craps at The Borgata in Atlantic City set a world record by rolling dice for four hours and 18 minutes—154 consecutive rolls—with out sevening out. She also got comped at the buffet, so that's nice. [Time, via Jezebel]...

One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...

NYC Pitcher Throws No-No After Dad Dies Of Swine Flu
Throwing a no-hitter or four in high school baseball? Passe. Doing it the day after burying your father, New York City's first victim of swine flu? Now we're talking....

Brett Favre Victimized By Improv Comedy Group
New York Giants lineman David Diehl makes his comedy club debut by mocking Brett Favre—and doing a pretty good job of it, actually. It was such a spot on impersonation that he even told his jokes to the wrong audience. Video below....

Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...