new Page 1147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...
Well This Seems Rather Harsh
The "greater than" meme; so overworked and cliched that Combudsman Iracane banned it from this site more than a month ago. But over at ESPN, it's cutting edge. The Leader decided to use it in a hard-hitting feature about how Eli Manning has surpassed his brother as the more highly-regarded quarterba...
Thank You Brett Favre, For Teaching Us How To Laugh Once Again
Oh Brett Favre, you and your playful, backwoods prankster antics. In what passes as high-concept comedy in Mississippi and certain portions of Wisconsin, Favre pulled the hilarious gag of leaving a dead animal he had shot in the locker of a Jets teammate. Of course this hasn't been considered origin...
Don't Hassle The Hoch! Ed Hochuli Under Siege Once Again
This photo of Vikings linebacker Chad Greenway grabbing a large helping of Reggie Bush's facemask during the Monday night game was on the front page of the Saints' web site this morning; the franchise's way of protesting the fact that no flag was thrown on the play. The genius part of this is that n...
Eli Manning's House Is Fully Automated; Kind Of Lame
Just say the words "New Jersey condo" and the thought immediately comes to mind; nothing was available in Manhattan? Hey, Eli Manning is quite happy with his new crib, and that's because he barely has to raise a finger when he's there; it's practically all automated. Here we see him in his den where...
Reggie Bush Will Surely Bring Out His Slippery Backdoor Moves Against the Vikings This Evening
Even though tonight's game isn't the marquee match-up the MNF schedulers had hoped for in the beginning of the season, seeing Adrian Peterson do his Purple Jesus thing against a shoddy Saints defense could be entertaining. The Saints are giving three points, mostly because they're home and the Vikin...
Hockey Night(s) In Europe
The NHL season hasn't even really started yet, but the Tampa Bay Lightning already have two losses. That's the same number of losses my rec league hockey team has and we didn't even have to go to the Czech Republic to earn them. (Heck, we don't even have uniforms.) The New York Rangers are the benef...
The NHL Season Is Here, All of Prague Rejoices
The NHL regular season starts today for a new year of blood and glory, fists and fury. (I'm such a freaking poet.) The league is abandoning its American following and fleeing to Prague to open the season with the Rangers and Lightning. What does it mean? It means unless you have the NHL network, you...
The Dismantling Of Shea Commences ... But What Of The Kitties?
They've begun tearing down Shea Stadium, so hopefully that men's room sign you bid on at the auction will be arriving any day now. But some concerned citizens are worried that the stadium's notorious feral cat population may be left behind; they actually want the kitties relocated to the new park. ...
Baby Sees First Brewers' Playoff Game, Cries, Spits Up
Award for most hardcore baseball fan, NL Central, goes to Niki O'Connor of Milwaukee. Not only did she walk to Miller Park while nine months pregnant to see the Brewers play the Cubs on the last day of the regular season, but she went into labor during the game, and refused to leave. The fun began w...
New Yorkers Taunted By Ironical TBS Signage
Anyone notice anything wrong with this gi-normous sign promoting the MLB playoffs on TBS? The banner is hanging on 7th Avenue in downtown New York, and features Josh Beckett of the Red Sox and, hmm, who is that other player exactly? Oh TBS, why do you mock them so? From the New York Post: ...
Watch Your Balls Around This Kid
Young Zack Hample, who scrounges for major league baseballs with the determination of a bear in a restaurant dumpster, has recorded rather a noteworthy feat; having caught the final Mets home run ball at Shea Stadium. This came on Sunday (Carlos Beltran), about a week after Hample had caught home ru...
Plaxico Burress Has Tardiness Issues
When the New York Giants suspended Plaxico Burress last week, everyone sort of assumed it had to be something more nefarious than simple "insubordination"—like those domestic disturbance calls to his home or maybe short-selling Lehman Brothers. It turns out that it was just because he didn't show up...
The Bigger The Hands, The Larger The ... Wristband
This came in a little too late to make Who's Sorry Now?, but the Boston Globe has issued an apology on its web site that can only be described as comedy gold. The paper today apologized for a photo it ran in Sunday's paper that depicted Patriots' back-up quarterback Kevin O'Connell throwing a pass i...
Hollis Thomas Would Like A Krabby Patty
This here gent is Hollis Thomas, former defensive lineman for the New Orleans Saints, who tore a pectoral muscle in August and was released prior to the regular season. He's now a free agent. And now meet his rather unhealthy obsession with SpongeBob SquarePants, the nautical cartoon sponge made pop...
You The Man Now, Dawg
It's one thing to be arrested, but to be arrested for something called "pedestrian under the influence" and then having your mugshot show off the stylish temporary Bulldog tattoos stuck to your face ("cheek flair") adds another level of humiliation. That's what happened to former Georgia Bulldog and...
Tell It Goodbye
The Beatles played there, Pope John Paul II took a spin around the infield in the Popemobile, Spider-Man married Mary Jane Watson there, and one day in 1986 Bill Buckner rather famously had a ball roll through his legs. On Friday we asked you to send us your Shea Stadium memories, and you came throu...
Mets Fans Go Out With Quiet Grace And Dignity
I prefer not to think of this as an obscene gesture, but as a salute to 45 great years at Shea Stadium. The Marlins' 4-2 win on Sunday ended the Mets' season, but please, let there be no tears. Did you really want Shea to go out in some bland early-round playoff game? This is a much more appropriate...
Mets Close Out Shea as Losers; Brewers Go Wild
CC Sabathia, Milwaukee's big time mid-season acquisition, stepped up on the final day of the season to help the Brewers clinch the National League Wild Card spot with a win over the Cubs. Ryan Braun was once again the hero as his 2 run homer in the 8th put them ahead for good. The Brew Crew clinched...
Game 162: Win or Go Home (or Play Again Tomorrow)
• Mets 2, Marlins 0 Johan Santana pitched the gem that the New York faithful needed from him. It was an absolutely impressive complete game, three hit shutout. But man, was it bizarre to hear Mets Manager Jerry Manuel talk about the game afterward, "Wow, wow, wow, wow. I think if I had to describe t...