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NFL Season Previews (Redux): The New York Jets
So, we already completed all of our NFL Season Previews. Due to people's busy schedules,there was a wait for many of them, which is completely understandable. I'm grateful to all of those people who contributed. And a special thank you is extended to those individuals who did a last minute turn-arou...
Angels Make Final Push Toward Postseason
The Angels have had enough of your everywhere-but-West-Coast bias. They will NOT be ignored, Dan! The only infielder named Rodriguez in the AL playoffs this year will be named Sean, and after Monday's 12-1 victory over the Yankees, their magic number is 2. Rally Monkey drinks your milkshake! As the ...
When Jobas Collide: Fake And Real Chamberlains Set For Historic Meeting
So the New York Post is setting up a meeting between our fake Joba Chamberlain — Jersey Shore resident Ryan Ward — and the real Joba on Friday at Yankee Stadium (Joba Chamberlain quote: "I want to know what was going on in his head"). And just like in The Prince and the Pauper, we'll no doubt soon s...
The Casselification Of America Has Begun
So you thought you were suffering from Tom Brady overload? At least there's only one of him. Meet the Cassels! Matt, of course, you know; he filled in for the mangled Brady on Sunday and led the Patriots to a 17-10 win over the Chiefs. He is set to assault every one of our six senses — especially he...
Bernard Pollard: New England Dream-Destroyer; Provocative Locker Room Dance Enthusiast
Bernard Pollard is not a well-liked man in New England and by crestfallen fantasy owners all across the country who watched their seasons disintegrate in an instant. (Darren Rovell says the Brady effect on Fantasy Football will cost some owners $150 million. Really. ) Pollard insists the left knee-...
Tom Brady Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Forget for a moment how the Patriots are going to cope without Tom Brady this season; how is the league itself going to survive? The facts are these: We awaken on Monday morning to a world in which Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are irrelevant, and Brett Favre and Kurt Warner are dancing about celebra...
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
As the world holds its collective breath awaiting official word on Tom Brady's knee injury, bloggers are working through their apprehension and grief the only way they know how; with wild, panicky speculation. Here's a sampling ... • A Letter From God Addressed To New England Patriot Fans. Let's fac...
Tom Brady Possibly Done For The Season
Yahoo! Sports' Michael Silver is reporting that Tom Brady might be out for the year with ligament damage to his knee. ...
NFL Season Previews: The New York Jets
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, o...
Will The Real Joba Please Stand Up?
In a move that soils the impeccable reputation of the Jersey shore, 29-year old Ryan Ward was caught using his physical resemblance to Joba Chamberlain to get girls into bed. ...
Idaho Vandals Prefer Their Asses Logo Free
One week after debuting their new uniforms, the Idaho Vandals football team is changing their pants. It seems the logo, which was placed in an unfortunate position on the uniform, was a little embarassing. Athletic Director Rob Spear has ordered the logos removed. ...
Jim Zorn Will Not Keep John McCain Hanging
Pretty entertaining NFL opener last night, but what WAS the deal with the Redskins not going to the no-huddle on that second-to-last possession down by nine with about five minutes left? John Madden's explanation: Jim Zorn didn't have time to put in a no-huddle. That's a pretty hilarious notion, act...
NFL Season Preview: New England Patriots
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...
The End Of Productivity: Your NFL Opener Is Finally Here
I don't know about you, but after a summer of confusing Chinese Olympic ceremonies and Barry Zito highlights, I'm ready for tonight's game big time. Redskins! Giants! Meadowlands! The NFL is here! My nipples explode with delight. If they're smart, the Giants should have worked this week on figuring ...
Mr. Met Will Shield Your Children From Online Predators
Watch out evildoers, Mr. Met is now savvy to the ways of the Interwebs. He is ready to kick some serious online predator ass. The Mets are having their Internet Safety Day on Saturday, and there are plenty of fun Internet safety activities planned. I'm pretty sure. Actually I have no idea, so let's ...
NFL Season Preview: New Orleans Saints
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...
Even Bathroom Doors Hate the Yankees This Year
When things aren't going well for your team there is no end to the obstacles confronting them. Every day you get online and a new disaster has occurred. Even when you can't see them coming. Such as this story. Jason Giambi split his eyelid walking into the bathroom door of his hotel. Giambi told th...
NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews...
Instant Replay II: Rise Of The Machines
Let the record show that the first use of instant replay in Major League Baseball was used on Wednesday to confirm an Alex Rodriguez home run in the Yankees' 8-4 win over Tampa Bay (a more deserving recipient there has never been). But wait, was it the first? Stacy Long of the Montgomery Advertister...
Cops Tell Different Tale About Fan Who Was Ejected Over "God Bless America"
The above video is of Yankee Stadium God-dismissing, anti-American Brad Campeau Laurion who enlightened us (and, seemingly, hundreds of other media outlets) about being forcibly escorted out of Yankee Stadium Tuesday night after he tried to go to the bathroom during the traditional 7th-inning rendi...