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Shake Your Rump For Jeremy Shockey
This is the time of year when everyone starts freaking out about their New Years Eve plans. If you're one of those hot ladies we keep hearing so much about, Jeremy Shockey has a potential party plan for you....
When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
A-Rod Is Not A Pleasant Landlord
When people defend Alex Rodriguez — because, you know, in a few circles, he's somewhat unpopular — they often point to the amount of charity work he does. But there might be less to that charity business that meets the proverbial eye. And he's not much of a landlord....
In A Way, Aren't We All John Maine?
For years, we have been plagued by the scourge of John Maine impersonators. We have fallen prey to this ourselves; heck, just more than a month ago, we thought Maine had shown up at our door, asking not for a dress, but for candy. One would think we would have learned to have been more skeptical....
Introducing The Dugout's "Football Guys"
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
John Maine Loves The Little Black Dress
If we know anything about baseball players, we know that they love to dress up in women's clothing. This is a verifiable fact, as true as the nose on your face and the whet of your whistle. Witness Exhibit 2732-A, Mets pitcher John Maine....
Patriots-Ravens Blogdome
What they're saying in the untrained Internet business about the Patriots' 27-24 win over the Ravens on Monday ......
The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...
The Patriots Might Just Be Toying With Us Now
A while back, we said that this whole "call a timeout right before a big play" business would end when someone called a timeout that nullified a great, game-winning play by his own team. That's exactly what happened tonight, thanks to an overeager timeout from Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ry...
Another Night That The Patriots Run The NFL
Sometimes it seems like the only major drama left in the NFL swirls around Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. We're almost as fascinated with the Dolphins' losing streak as we are with the Patriots' winning one, but tonight, "Monday Night Football" will reap the national benefits....
Welcome Newcastlers!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Marty Brodeur Is Happy Again
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....
Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...
Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...
Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...
The Patriots Need A Theme Song
Determined to ruin a good thing, the Boston Globe somehow decided that the Patriots need a theme song. The easy way to do this would be to search through Tom Brady's iTunes folder until something clicks (Huey Lewis and the News!), but no, the Globe is putting it up to a vote. Poems, slogans and Chri...