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The Knicks Do The Unthinkable And Win A Basketball Game
For just the second time since the calendar flipped over to 2019, the Knicks have won a regular season NBA basketball game, topping the lowly Hawks—and in Atlanta, no less—by the score of 106–91. It’s been 41 days since the team last tasted victory, a span covering a franchise-record 18 consecutive ...

The Hawks And Knicks Recreate The Basketball Equivalent Of Throwing Up In Your Mouth
The Hawks and Knicks are both currently engaged in a mad dash to the bottom of the barrel as the worst team in the league and, boy, are they doing a terrible job of not making it obvious....

Do Not Watch The Knicks For Any Reason Besides A Flying Mitchell Robinson
In the middle of an 18-game losing streak, with the tank reaching levels deleterious to the mental health of players and viewers alike, there aren’t a whole lot of reasons to subject yourself to the Knicks. The only one I can offer you with a straight face is Mitchell Robinson, an ent with hops. Ro...

Dirk And Wade Buried The Hatchet
Dwyane Wade’s season-long farewell tour spent last night in Dallas, the NBA city where he’s probably most hated, first for beating the Mavericks in the 2006 Finals by drawing an ungodly amount of fouls, and then for repeatedly antagonizing local legend Dirk Nowitzki. This is also almost certainly No...

Kevin Knox's Dunk On Ben Simmons Left DeAndre Jordan Stupefied<em></em>
The Knicks as a franchise have completely packed it in for the rest of the season, but the electrifying rookie Kevin Knox has yet to get the tanking memo. In the second quarter of New York’s likely eventual loss against the 76ers, Knox took a bounce pass in stride from DeAndre Jordan as he sped into...

The Rest Of The Pelicans' Season Is Going To Be So Bleak
Now that he has to wait until this final third of the NBA season is over before he becomes a Laker or Celtic or something other than a Pelican, Anthony Davis is in the incredibly awkward position of having to play out the rest of the season alongside teammates he publicly dissed, in front of fans wh...

Mario Hezonja Interrupts Dreary Tank-Off To Murder Poor Marquese Chriss
Do not watch tonight’s Knicks-Cavaliers game. The Knicks have lost 16 straight and a disgusting 24 of their last 25 games; the Cavs have lost 22 of their last 25 and have the worst net rating in the NBA. Neither organization exactly wants to win this game, and given the quality of the basketball pro...

Jim Irsay Moves Goalposts On "G.O.A.T." Debate In A Way That Conveniently Discounts The Patriots' Accomplishments
Despite the recent success of a New England-based franchise, there are plenty of people who will still argue over which NFL team is the greatest of all time. Is it the Cowboys from the ‘90s, or the Joe Montana-led 49ers of the ‘80s? Are the Patriots better in their current form, or was their team fr...

Adam Gase Is Building A Locker Room Powder Keg With His New Coaching Hires
Adam Gase being brought on to be the head coach of the New York Jets began as an uncreative hire, but has since blossomed into one of the more entertaining storylines of the NFL offseason through his own design. When we last caught up with Gase, his hypnotic eyeballs distracted us from some of his c...

Rich Paul Snitched On The Pelicans And Got Anthony Davis His Playing Time Back
It seems like just yesterday that Anthony Davis had his image wiped from nearly every part of Pelicans-related media in anticipation for the team to honor his trade request. But both sides had to put that bit of their history behind them on Friday when the All-Star big man suited up to play agains...

The NBA's Anti-Tanking Reform For Sure Hasn't Solved Sucking
The NBA recently messed with the odds in the draft lottery in order to discourage teams from tanking, but the real fruits of that move will be revealed over time, and anyway certain teams—looking at you, Phoenix—need no promise of draft lottery gold in order to just profoundly suck and lose all the ...

The Zombie Pelicans Will Cross Their Fingers And Allow Anthony Davis To Play Out The Season
Having used these last few weeks for nothing more productive than shedding salary and spiting the Lakers, and having sagged now to 13th place in the Western Conference standings, the Pelicans have announced their decision to return Anthony Davis to their rotation for the rest of this lost and wasted...

Every NBA Trade Is Actually About Anthony Davis These Days
This is a Harrison Barnes blog right up until the point LeBron James makes sure it’s not....

Report: The Pelicans Invented A New Kind Of Tampering And Used It To Exact Sweet Revenge On The Hated Lakers
It looks increasingly like the Pelicans have no real intention of dealing with the Lakers ahead of tomorrow’s trade deadline. The Lakers have made their whole damn team available in offers for Anthony Davis, and the Pelicans apparently haven’t made any concrete counteroffers, and the only observable...

Saints Fans Will Literally Go To Their Graves Upset About That Blown Call
The Saints should have played against the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII, if not because of the blown NFC Championship pass interference call that would have all but won New Orleans the game, then at least because watching Drew Brees against the Pats’ defense sounds a hell of a lot better than seeing a...

Report: The Patriots Will Soon Be Schiano Men
For the first time since 2001, Bill Belichick will hire a coordinator from outside of the Patriots staff. The Boston Globe reported this morning that erstwhile Ohio State defensive coordinator Greg Schiano will join the team to serve in the same role, replacing de facto 2018 DC and now-Miami-bound B...

The Kristaps Porzingis Trade Had Been Building For Longer Than Any Of Us Realized
Last Thursday’s trade that sent a disgruntled (or at least mildly gruntled) Kristaps Porzingis to the Mavericks came as a shock to many around the league, not least among them Knicks fans. Where did this come from? Why did this happen so quickly? Why didn’t the Knicks shop around for better offers? ...

Just Make The Damn Trade
It’s worth remembering that this all ought to be pretty easy....

There Was A Big Ol' Brawl Between Patriots Fans At Their Super Bowl Parade
The Patriots held their Super Bowl parade today in Boston, and when you have so many in this short of a span, it gets a little repetitive. The team took a shot at ESPN’s Max Kellerman, because apparently he was this year’s big baddie who needed to be proven wrong. Bionic mastiff Rob Gronkowski and h...

Oh God, What If The Patriots Win A SEVENTH Title?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about the Super Bowl, stoner girlfriends, the NBA, and more....