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High School Baseball Coach Arrested For Allegedly Choking Student Unconscious While Demonstrating MMA Moves
Lloyd Kevin Smith, the varsity baseball coach at Indian River Central School in upstate New York, was arrested on charges of child endangerment last Friday for a locker room demonstration that accidentally went too far....

Aaron Judge Nearly Killed A Guy
The Yankees’ new right fielder, Aaron Judge, is both very large and very strong. He proved the second half of that description true during today’s game against the Rays, in which he cracked a long roundtripper and nearly took Jumbo Diaz’s head off....

Joakim Noah Needs Surgery; Knicks Slip Deeper Into The Void
Joakim Noah’s tenure on the Knicks has resembled an expensive rehabilitation project for a large, ungainly, nearly extinct bird. (Except the bird also does drugs he’s not supposed to, and is somewhat refreshing in his openness about the whole thing.)...

Gronk Got Involved In A WWE Match Again
Of all the celebrity cameos in professional wrestling, football players work the best, not least because they look the part. Their physiques often match up to the guys in the ring, and so when they get involved it doesn’t look quite as silly as, say, Jon Stewart helping Seth Rollins retain the world...

Yoenis Cespedes Laid A Historic Whooping On The Phillies
Golf enthusiast Yoenis Cespedes has the great fortune of playing against Phillies pitching this week and he made the most of it tonight. Clay Buchholz started for Philly this evening and his troubles began immediately, as Cespedes crushed a bambinazo to bring in three runs before the Phillies had ev...

Will Falling Out Of The Top Four Be Enough To Bring Change To Arsenal?<em></em>
Now seems like as good a time as any to call it, even if it’s not out of the realm of possibility just quite yet: For the first time in 21 years, and the first time in Arsène Wenger’s incredibly long and storied career in England, Arsenal will not finish in the top four....

The Phillies And Mets Stewed Some Very Mild Beef
If the 2017 baseball season is a slow-cooked pot roast, not enough time has passed for the beef to be tender and juicy. What I’m trying to say is, the Mets and Phillies almost brawled last night....

Noah Syndergaard Jacks Philly Phanatic's ATV For Pregame Joyride
Feel that warm breeze my friends, summer’s almost here. Time to hop on those ATVs....

It Was Michael Pineda's Day
Michael Pineda, the former blue-chip prospect who still gives the occasional flash of brilliance, almost gave the Yankees a home opener for the ages today. What he gave them instead was still pretty damn good, though....

Karl-Anthony Towns Just Keeps Wrecking Shit, Even If You Aren't Watching
By now it feels like a past life. But not long ago, games between the Timberwolves and Knicks were among the small pleasures of the early NBA season: heated clashes between two flawed teams that still tried hard, and more importantly, sported the NBA’s two most intriguing sophomores, both seven-foot...

<i>New York Times </i>Public Editor: What's With All These Interesting Stories Where The Box Scores Should Be?
New York Times public editor Liz Spayd wrote an exceptionally stupid column this weekend criticizing the newspaper’s sports section....
![Otis Nixon Is Missing [Update: He's Been Found]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xovgtrnnbkblvf57rhzi.jpg)
Otis Nixon Is Missing [Update: He's Been Found]
Otis Nixon, a former outfielder who spent 17 seasons on nine Major League teams, most famously on the Atlanta Braves’ worst-to-first turnaround team in 1991, is missing, according to police in Woodstock, Ga....

Lawsuit: NHL Owner Daryl Katz Offered Actress Millions For Sex
Canadian billionaire and Edmonton Oilers owner Daryl Katz has been accused of luring Brazilian model and actress Greice Santo into hotel rooms on multiple occasions and offering her money for sex, according to documents filed in a recent lawsuit. But that’s not what the lawsuit is about. The allegat...

Matt Harvey Looked Pretty Good Last Night
Last season was the worst of Matt Harvey’s career. It started with him getting clowned on for not peeing enough, transitioned to him getting booed off the mound by the home fans, and ended with him being shutdown with thoracic outlet syndrome. During all of this, he mostly looked and carried himself...

I Hate My Wide Feet
My feet are big. Not in a potentially good way, the way that might grab the interest of an NBA scout. Or in the way that might set a woman to wondering. No. My feet are wide....

Jury Begins Deliberations On Aaron Hernandez Double Homicide Trial
A jury in Boston went to deliberations this morning to come to a verdict on the homicide charges against former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, stemming from a 2012 double homicide outside a Boston nightclub....

You Wanna See A Pretty-Ass Goal?
The Penguins beat the Devils 7-4 in Newark to clinch the second spot in the Metropolitan, and, crucially, home-ice advantage for their first-round matchup against the Blue Jackets. Pittsburgh got goals from seven different skaters, but the highlight of the night was, without question, an assist....

Soccer Pundits Appropriately Bewildered By Referee's Penalty Boner
Newcastle United played Burton Albion yesterday in a match noteworthy only for one particularly galling error made by head referee Keith Stroud. These Sky Sports pundits discussing the mistake on air were just as bemused by the incident as the moment called for....

Jay Bruce: Anal Power
The Mets lost to Atlanta last night in extras, but not before Jay Bruce leveraged anal power to launch a big dinger off Bartolo Colón. Your music is the appropriately titled “Anal Power” by Czech death metal group Törr, from their 1992 album Chcípni O Kus Dál....

The Ringer's Mike Lombardi Claims Seven Insights Into Good Quarterbacks, Actually Has None<em></em>
Michael Lombardi is a former football executive with the San Francisco 49ers, Philadelphia Eagles, Oakland Raiders, and Cleveland Browns; now he writes a football column for his good buddy Bill Simmons’s website The Ringer. If you would like to know why he failed in the former career, look no furthe...