new Page 187 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Columbus, Ohio Viewers Miss Entire Kentucky-UNC Finish Due To Tornado Warning
Columbus, Ohio CBS station WBNS went black for six minutes as its weather staff delivered ominous news of a tornado warning in Franklin and Madison counties. Those six minutes just happened to encompass the entirety of Malik Monk’s three to tie it up, and Luke Maye’s eventual winner for UNC (as well...
Joakim Noah Suspended 20 Games For Violating Anti-Drug Policy
Joakim Noah will be suspended 20 games for violating the NBA’s anti-drug policy—reportedly for unknowingly taking an over-the-counter supplement, which is currently banned by the league but would no longer be punished under the next season’s new collective bargaining agreement....
Actually, The Huskies Didn't Want Michael Porter Jr. Anyway, Says Local Columnist<em></em>
Washington Huskies head basketball coach Lorenzo Romar was fired shortly after finishing a soggy 9-22 campaign, the worst in his 14 years at the helm, despite having the likely No. 1 overall pick (Markelle Fultz) in the upcoming NBA Draft. This seemingly non-controversial decision was made much more...
I Don't Think I Can Deal With Jim Harbaugh In Slim-Fit Khakis
The only thing Jim Harbaugh loves as much as football, Twitter, baseball dust, milk, and his bitchin’ mitt is a fresh pair of khaki pants. For years, Harbaugh has worn ill-fitting but absurdly cheap khakis, because luxury only serves to dull one’s taste for victory. It’s a little jarring, then, to s...
Asdrubal Cabrera Got Ejected While Running To First
Spring training is a long, monotonous motherfucker, and playing meaningless games day after day appears can fry the patience of players and umps alike. During the fourth inning of a game between the Mets and the Nationals this afternoon, Asdrubal Cabrera managed to get himself ejected in the middle ...
Jeff Hornacek: We're Going To Keep Doing This Stupid Thing That Makes No Sense
Anything good that is ever created inside Madison Square Garden will eventually be dragged down 34th Street and dumped into the Hudson River, where it will somehow catch on fire. Remember when the Knicks were feisty and it was fun to sit around talking about how great Kristaps Porzingis was? That fe...
Yankees Player Owns Hairless Cat
With spring training no longer a novelty and no actual games to cover, baseball’s news cycle is stuck in a brief rut where it has to rely on waterskiing squirrels to stay alive. Today’s example comes to you in the form of a hairless cat named Mr. Delicious. He belongs to Yankees first baseman Greg B...
The Jets Are A Dynasty Of Quarterback Mentorship
By signing Josh McCown, the Jets have extended one of the NFL’s most enduring storylines: The Veteran Quarterback As Valuable Mentor. The team’s fans are no doubt delighted....
Fake Strongmen Fool Morning News Shows, Create Deeply Stupid TV
Local morning news shows have a lot of air to fill each day. So when a pair claiming to be an inspirational strongman duo blasted out a press release—citing a nonexistent tour and an America’s Got Talent appearance, and offering no video or documentation—they were immediately booked by seven differe...
AFC East Cowers In Fear As Jets Sign Josh McCown
The AFC East has officially been put on notice. Josh McCown’s most relevant Jets-adjacent career highlight will no longer be getting owned while diving for the end zone two years ago, as he signed a one-year deal with the team today. ...
John Elway Writes Letter Endorsing Supreme Court Nominee, For Some Reason
There are a great many topics on which one might seek the wisdom of former Hall-of-Fame quarterback and current Broncos GM John Elway. For instance: how to throw a football real far, or how to avoid paying a shit-ton of money to a bad QB just because he can throw a football real far....
The Case Of The Missing Tom Brady Super Bowl Jersey Has Only Gotten Better
Earlier today, the NFL announced that authorities had recovered Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl LI jersey, as well as the quarterback’s jersey from Super Bowl XLIX. As more evidence about the case has been released, the story has gotten even more bizarre....
The Gifts Jimmy Breslin Gave Me
It is hard to realize just how far away New York is by every conceivable measure unless you are in Salt Lake City when you are introduced to the world Jimmy Breslin populated with characters, con men and crusaders. I felt the sense of distance for the first time more than half a century ago, and it ...
Jimmy Breslin Was New York City
Legendary New York City newspaper columnist Jimmy Breslin died on Sunday at the age of 88. This profile originally appeared in the November, 1987 issue of GQ and appears here with permission from the author....
Cricket Reporter Tries To Pass Off iOS Calculator App As A "Light Meter"
Is it too dark for them to continue the South Africa-New Zealand test match? Not yet, according to this guy with a “light meter.”...
Do Not Go Into This St. Patrick's Day Themed Queso Recipe With False Expectations
We’re certainly in favor of “kicking back” and having a little fun on St. Patrick’s day, a celebration of the devastating effects of alcoholism. But we hate to see anyone fall for click-bait articles concerned more with attention-grabbing headlines than delivering on promises. ...
How The Patriots' Rare Spending Spree Fits What They Do
Fresh off another Super Bowl win, the Patriots are approaching the offseason with an uncharacteristic aggressiveness. The Pats have largely built their 16-year dynasty by drafting well, knowing when to flip high-priced veterans, and accumulating draft picks before it was cool. (Having arguably the g...
New Orleans Player Chokes Teammate, Gets Benched
UNO lost by one (which I swear is not intended as a pun) in their NCAA Tournament play-in matchup against Mount St. Mary’s, and there were precisely two highlights, both involving New Orleans’s junior forward Travin Thibodeaux....
John Tavares Celebrates OT Winner By Punching Teammate In The Face
The New York Islanders’ John Tavares scored in overtime against the Carolina Hurricanes on Tuesday night to give the Islanders the 3-2 win, and it was a beauty:...
Enjoy This Cousins-To-Davis Alley-Oop, Because The Pelicans Probably Won't Make The Playoffs
The Pelicans may have traded for the best player at the trade deadline, but they remain an outside shot to make the playoffs. That said, both DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis have been, statistically speaking, “pretty good” since the trade....