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Jane Doe Testifies About The Night She Says Derrick Rose Raped Her [Updated]
Jane Doe, the woman who alleges that New York Knicks guard Derrick Rose and two friends raped her in 2013 and is suing them in civil court in Los Angeles, testified today that she doesn’t remember much about that night. She does remember having a lot to drink during the night, several shots of vodka...

The Derrick Rose Trial Is Already Getting Intense
After a day and a half of jury selection, the Derrick Rose civil trial finally made its way today to opening statements. According to reports from the courthouse, things got intense almost immediately. Jane Doe’s lawyer Waukeen McCoy gave a very graphic description of the alleged gang rape, the New ...

Strained Earth Gives Off Mighty Groan As Yet Another <i>Game Of Thrones</i>/Sports Mashup Is Unleashed Upon It
We all love sports, and we all love Game of Thrones, but what if I told you that sports ... was a lot like Game of Thrones?...


Root For The Mets In The Playoffs
The 2015 National League champions coasted on a sea of subpar second-place teams to home field advantage in the bullshit crapshoot that is the one-game wild card playoff (can’t wait!). More than half of their Opening Day bevy of shampoo-commercial starters have been sidelined with injury but between...

Jeff Van Gundy Advocates Zero-Tolerance Policy For Domestic Violence Offenders
The Houston Rockets and New York Knicks met in the preseason this evening, and ESPN announcer Jeff Van Gundy used the occasion of Derrick Rose’s first appearance with the Knicks to make some points about domestic violence and how Adam Silver and the NBA should deal with players who are convicted of ...

How Long Until The NFL's Hard-On For Personal Fouls Ruins A Game?
Even if you believe that Odell Beckham Jr.’s tendency toward emotional outbursts has rightfully earned him extra scrutiny from NFL referees, the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty he was hit with last night was pretty confounding:...

Odell Beckham Lost His Cool Again
Odell Beckham Jr. was barely there last night. The excellent Vikings defense held him to a career-low three catches for 23 yards, all on a single second-quarter drive that didn’t cross midfield. Minnesota merely perfected what’s emerged as a solid strategy to keep Beckham in check—he hasn’t scored a...

Larry Donnell Knocked Out Of Game With Concussion After Huge Hit
Early in the second quarter of tonight’s game against the Vikings, Giants tight end Larry Donnell was trying to pull around and block for Orleans Darkwa, when linebacker Anthony Barr came through the gap like a rocket and smashed into him, knocking him four yards back and straight into Darkwa. Darkw...

The Jets Have Bigger Problems Than Ryan Fitzpatrick
This is not what the Jets envisioned when they finally ended their very long and very weak standoff with Ryan Fitzpatrick. All they needed was a competent quarterback who could score a few points and let the defense win games, and Fitzpatrick seemed to fit the bill. The best-case scenario for the 2...


Cam Newton Earns Taunting Penalty
Cam Newton will have to keep his nose clean for the rest of today’s game against the Falcons after earning a first-quarter taunting penalty. NFL rules call for a player to be ejected after his second unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, and there’s still 55 minutes of football to get through. ...

Bills-Patriots Pregame Warmups Turn Into A Big Shoving Match
The Buffalo Bills and New England Patriots couldn’t wait until kickoff to start hitting each other. These guys are mad!...

Mets' Playoff Celebration Includes Completely Naked Guy
The New York Mets clinched a playoff spot Saturday with their 5-3 win over the Philadelphia Phillies, bringing all the champagne-soaked locker room celebration that typically entails. Plus a glimpse of a player’s totally naked ass, resplendent on live television:...

Pacifist Joakim Noah Declines To Attend Knicks Event At West Point
The Knicks always start their training camp with a weeklong session at the U.S. Military Academy, and each year they close with a team dinner with cadets, including a speech by a current or former officer. This year, new Knicks center was the only player not to attend the dinner, and he had his reas...

John Farrell To Sassy Fan: "Why Don't You Shut Your Ass Up?"
Last night’s game between the Red Sox and Yankees, the final game the two will play against each other this season, was fairly uneventful. David Ortiz got some cheers from the New York crowd, C.C. Sabathia pitched well, and John Farrell kept most of his stars off the field....

Aleksandar Mitrović Damn Near Kills Teammate In A Fit Of Ecstasy
Newcastle fought back from a 3-2 deficit against Norwich yesterday with two stoppage time goals to snatch a 4-3 win. Obviously, this had everyone super fuckin’ amped. None more so than Aleksandar Mitrović, who was so caught up in the moment that he almost snapped the winning goalscorer’s neck in cel...

AL East Champion Red Sox Graciously Allow Yankees To Have Cute Little Celebration Of Their Own
There were two parties at Yankee Stadium last night. One was on the field, where the Yankees celebrated their five-run ninth-inning comeback to beat Boston, capped by a walk-off grand slam from Mark Teixeira. The other one came in the visitors’ clubhouse, where by dint of the Orioles’ win over Toron...

Rex Ryan Posed As A Reporter To Ask Julian Edelman If He'd Be Playing QB
Who will quarterback the Patriots this weekend? Jacoby Brissett? Jimmy Garappolo? Julian Edelman? Everyone involved in this weekend’s Patriots-Bills game is interested in finding out, nobody more so than Bills coach Rex Ryan. So he performed some extremely simple subterfuge on a conference call with...