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Bartolo Colon's Child-Support Case Came Out Because He Was Foolish Enough To Represent Himself
The New York Post reported today that married Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon is being sued by a Washington Heights woman who says she had two children with him and wants him to pay child support....

Mike Francesa Is Very Confused By Basically Everything Related To MLS
Here is a non-comprehensive list of the things Mike Francesa exhibits serious confusion about during what should’ve been a short promo advertising tickets to an NYCFC-NY Red Bulls game: that NYCFC and the Red Bulls are in fact two separate teams; the correct pronunciation of international superstar ...

Annoying Boston Fan Brings Out The True Sadness Within Gronk
Rob Gronkowski is on the cover of Madden 17, and he currently isn’t playing football. Those two circumstances mean that he’s up for practically any media coverage. Gronk’s also the GQ cover story for June; Devin Friedman followed him around to see if the walking direct-to-DVD American Pie sequel wou...

Fat Joe Says "I Got A Story To Tell" Was About Anthony Mason
Music and sports fans alike have spent years trying to figure out the true identity of the unnamed New York Knick mentioned in Biggie’s “I Got A Story To Tell.” Bomani Jones and Dan Le Batard, hosts of ESPN’s Highly Questionable, have been particularly dogged in their pursuit of the truth, and today...

Meteorologist Ordered To Wear Sweater Due To Complaints About Her Dress
Liberté Chan has served as a weekend meteorologist at KTLA for years, but her onscreen attire Saturday morning was apparently so scandalous she was ordered to wear a sweater on live television....

"C'mon, Man, You Can't Say That"
Live television at its best: when a Heat fan from Utah states “We’re going to beat the shit out of them.”...

Columbus Crew Trade Away Top Scorer Following Dumb Penalty-Kick Beef
Now, I don’t know much about MLS, but trading your top scorer coming off a season where he tied the league lead for most goals all because he got into an argument about who would take a penalty in what should’ve been a blow-out seems really, really weird to me. And yet these appear to be the facts o...

Noah Syndergaard, Clearly Inspired By Bartolo Colon, Slapped A Pair Of Dingers (UPDATE: He Actually Was)
Bartolo Colon is now a power hitter, but he’s always been a source of wisdom and knowledge. As the wizened sage of the Mets’ pitching staff, his job is to lead by example. Apparently content with his teachings on how to dominate from the mound, it appears Bartolo has moved on to teaching his flock h...

Someone Put Bartolo Colon's First Homer In <i>The Natural</i>, Where It Belongs
This is just a fantastic mash-up of Bartolo Colon’s delightful home run and the climactic scene from The Natural. ...

The Raptors Are Bad, The Heat Are Bad, But Dwyane Wade Is Good
For the fourth time in four games, Toronto and Miami played a boring, ugly slog of a game where entertaining chunks only ever intermittently floated up through a soup of mediocre, dumb basketball. A brief summary: The two teams combined for 42 percent shooting and 26 turnovers; Goran Dragic getting ...

After 50 Minutes Of Mistreatment, Basketball Seeks Refuge Away From Players
It’s rare we can call a playoff overtime basketball game anything less than “good,” but the Raptors and Heat went out of their way to provide viewers and spectators the most inept display of postseason basketball possible. Late in overtime, the basketball itself said “enough.”...

McLovin And Frank Isola Got Into A Great Twitter Fight About The Knicks And <i>Pitch Perfect</i>
Chris Mintz-Plasse of McLovin fame is a Celtics fan and a good Twitter user, and about a month ago, he laid down a Frank Isola burn in vague response to this Mike Lupica column....

Canadian Politicians Have Pushed Their Way Into The Dwyane Wade "O Canada" Controversy
One Canadian legislator is demanding an apology from Dwyane Wade and Toronto city politicians are speaking out after the Miami star was caught on camera warming up during the performance of “O Canada” before Saturday’s Raptors-Heat game....

Aroldis Chapman Still Says He Did Nothing Wrong
Aroldis Chapman returns to the Yankees today after serving his 30-game domestic violence suspension, but the fireballing reliever has yet to take much responsibility for the incident that landed him on MLB’s banned list....

Victor Hedman Is Doing Everything
No team left alive will have as long a rest—and no team, perhaps, needs it less—than the red-hot Tampa Bay Lightning, who after their 4-0 series clincher in Game 5 against the Islanders, have made it through to the conference finals for the second straight season, and have done it in just 10 games. ...

That Is Not How The DC Comics Universe Works
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Nation Angry At Dwyane Wade For Ignoring "O Canada"
Dwyane Wade put up 38 points in a losing effort for the Heat against the Raptors yesterday, but it’s some shots that didn’t count that have him drawing the ire of an entire nation as the Miami guard continued warming up through the pre-game rendition of “O Canada.”...
![Pittsburgh Riverhounds Player Suspended For Kicking The Shit Out Of Opponent [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pamilrcoc85ysbayvcqy.gif)
Pittsburgh Riverhounds Player Suspended For Kicking The Shit Out Of Opponent [UPDATE]
The Pittsburgh Riverhounds are likely to lose their leading scorer for a long time, as Romeo Parkes earned an incredible red card by kicking the shit out of Red Bulls II player Karl Ouimette late in last night’s USL match....
![Bartolo Colón Jacks First Career Dong [UPDATE: Now In Spanish]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/cpk53wvigxf9okb8mfr4.gif)
Bartolo Colón Jacks First Career Dong [UPDATE: Now In Spanish]
Over the years, we have been consistently impressed with Mets pitcher Bartolo Colón’s athletic feats. But nothing he has achieved meets tonight’s highlight, in which the Dominican hurler hits his first career home run after twenty seasons in the majors:...

Lap It Up, Goofball
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