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Patriots' J.J. Worton Accused Of Groping Two Women, Punching Out A Man At A Bar

Patriots practice squad player J.J. Worton groped two women at a bar in Foxboro and knocked out one of their boyfriends early Saturday morning, according to a Foxboro police report....

Lurid Confessions Of A Times Square Silver Man

During the early aughts, when I was bobbing about the murky shark tank of my mid-20s, there were several years when my income was derived entirely from standing in a silver unitard around NYC....

Bill Belichick Doesn't Regret Going For It On Fourth Down, Twice

The Patriots nearly pulled out a miracle tying drive thanks to two fourth-down conversions, but the game and the circumstances might’ve been vastly different if two earlier fourth-down tries had been successful—or never attempted at all. Of all the what-ifs New England is dealing with today, two Bil...

The Broncos Put The Fear Of God Into Tom Brady

Stats don’t always explain a game; this one does. The Broncos hit Tom Brady 20 times yesterday. No NFL quarterback has been hit that many times in a full decade....

¡Súperman Una Vez Más! 

Cam Newton is leading his Carolina Panthers team to an NFC championship and is almost certainly the NFL MVP. These achievements seem almost modest, you know, for Superman. But the Man of Steel took flight in the third quarter of tonight’s blowout NFC title game; ¡Es un pájaro! ¡Es un avión!...

Von Miller And DeMarcus Ware Are Whirling Dervishes Of Death

The Broncos don’t put forth dominant or even good offensive performances anymore, but with a defense as terrifying as theirs, they don’t even need to be any better than competent on that side of the ball to win. In a weird way, the AFC Championship game was less tense for Broncos fans when Peyton Ma...

New England Patriots Suffering From BSOD

Microsoft has been on a season-long campaign to make sure you know the tablet computers on NFL sidelines are their Surface models, not iPads. Like most Microsoft products, the Surface tablets are crashing—at least those on the New England sideline. Money well-spent, Microsoft....

Oh, Hello

This morning, your Premiership highlights are brought to you by horrified woman in the background....

We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]

Here’s some Jersey shithead with an illegible sign making an ass out of himself behind the Monmouth Co. sheriff. Hey, dickhead, you’re holding a white sign in the middle of a snowstorm. Nobody can read your fuckin’ sign. If you had a brain in your skull, you’d be inside....

Three NHL Games, Two NBA Games Postponed By East Coast Blizzard

How are you planning on spending this snowbound evening? Hopefully you weren’t planning on watching the Wizards, Sixers (you definitely weren’t), or the Islanders play tonight. The NHL has postponed today’s Islanders—Flyers game as well as tomorrow’s Capitals—Penguins game. The Capitals game yesterd...

Broncos DE Derek Wolfe On The Patriots: "I Hate Everything About Them"

The Patriots and the Broncos are in the midst of a rather entertaining shit talking session in the lead-up to tomorrow’s AFC Championship game. Earlier in the week, Broncos players called Brady a crybaby and talked some shit about how Rob Gronkowski was a dirty player. It’s abundantly clear that the...

All Hail The Metropolitans

ESPN Dumbass Danny Kanell Calls For Broncos To Commit Late Hits On Tom Brady

We don’t deny that it would be hilarious to watch Von Miller cream an unsuspecting Tom Brady well after the whistle. But we certainly can’t endorse it, which is exactly what ESPN’s Danny Kanell did on his radio show today....

Ovechkin Spotted Getting Gas To Plow Neighbors' Driveways; Is Unafraid Of Blizzard Because "We're From Russia"

Draw your own conclusions about how and why Alex Ovechkin happened to run into D.C. CBS station WUSA at a gas station. All we know is that the Capitals star had three words in response to a query about whether he’s prepared for the blizzard assaulting our nation’s capital: “We’re from Russia.”...

"Fuck You, Dale" [UPDATES]

Man, Dale’s employers at Metal Works of High Point must really hate him....

Austrian TV Gives NFL Conference Title Games The Star Wars Treatment

We’ve previously covered in this space our appreciation for Austria’s approach to NFL coverage. Österreich is just wild about American football, and official broadcaster PULS4 has produced this Star Wars-themed promo for Sunday’s games. It’s... interesting....

Why Prosecutors Didn't Bring Charges Against Aroldis Chapman 

Prosecutors have declined to bring charges against now-Yankees pitcher Aroldis Chapman for his actions the night he was accused of choking his girlfriend and firing eight gunshots inside his garage, the Broward State Attorney’s Office announced today. The office also released a closeout memo, writte...

There Was An Incident With The Footballs And Gauges At Gillette Stadium This Weekend

Almost exactly a year to the day after Patriots equipment personnel “likely” intentionally deflated footballs to make them easier for Tom Brady to grip—at least, that’s according to the NFL’s Wells Report—there was another incident involving footballs and gauges before a Patriots playoff game at Gil...

Is This The Crash That Darius Fleming Is Talking About? (Updated)

This morning has seen plenty of coverage about the heroics of Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming, with the general narrative being that he rescued a woman from a burning car last week on his way home from Patriots practice. But tracking down documents regarding the heroics has proved trickier. In th...

The Broncos Have Started Trash Talking The Patriots And “Crybaby” Tom Brady

We’re off to a great start ahead of Sunday’s AFC championship game, thanks to a handful of Broncos defenders who wasted no time in providing bulletin board material. That Denver defense is the league’s best, and its trash talk focused on the Patriots’ offense’s best, including Tom Brady, who the Bro...