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Darrelle Revis Argues With Instagram Trolls [Update]
Darrelle Revis has lost his patience with Patriots fans who are upset about his return to the New York Jets. ...

You Must See The Worst Quarter In NBA History
The time has come for you to bear witness: tonight the Knicks and Magic combined for 15 total points in the second quarter of their “battle” in Orlando. So that this may never be forgotten, we provide you here the entire 12 minutes, set to the proper accompaniment. ...

Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...

11 Things Longer Than Last Night's Sox-Yanks Game But That Felt Shorter
Last night’s offensively-, technologically-, and spermatozoaically-deficient 19-inning Red Sox-Yankees game officially clocked in at 6:49, but in reality the broadcast with festivities, anthems, et cetera lasted around seven hours. For viewers, though, the slogging despair of watching the longest R...

Red Sox-Yankees Misery Extended Further By Power Outage
The anguish that is watching a Red Sox-Yankees game proved especially torturous in the Bronx tonight as a game already in its fifth hour came to a 15-minute delay as lights all over Yankee Stadium suddenly fell silent, as if they had been, like the modicum of remaining fans, literally bored to death...

Darren Sharper May Be Subject To Penis Monitoring Until He Dies
Convicted rapist Darren Sharper will serve nine years in prison for his crimes, but he won’t return to a regular life after he finishes his sentence. If two New Orleans judges approve the deal instead of issuing a 20-year sentence in Louisiana, Sharper will be treated as a sex offender, and closely ...

Alex Rodriguez Is One Homer Closer To Costing The Yankees $6 Million
It had really only been 22 at-bats since Alex Rodriguez last homered, but a season-long suspension has a funny way of warping baseball time, and of fogging memories. “I felt like I needed Google Maps to round the bases,” Rodriguez said. “It’s been a long, long time.” ...

Jimmy Fallon Chugs Beer At Yankees Game
Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon found his way to some primo seats at Yankee Stadium for tonight’s bout between the Bronx Bombers and Toronto, and took some time out in the bottom of the seventh inning to chug a beer—much to the delight of everyone watching. Sure, it’s a silly stunt. But you’d do it t...

Local Cubs Broadcast Intro Is Just A Disaster
The GIF above cycles through some of the graphics that were used in the intro package that led into ABC 7’s broadcast of yesterday’s Cubs game. Did you catch all those errors? Here, let us slow things down for you....

A Sense Of Where You Are
Oh, man, great job by The New Yorker making John McPhee's classic profile of Dollar Bill Bradley at Princeton available to us for free....

How Did Darren Sharper Avoid Arrest For So Long?
ProPublica, Sports Illustrated, and The New Orleans Advocate teamed up to produce a thoroughly reported story seeking to explain how exactly former NFL player Darren Sharper was able to avoid getting arrested for years despite being accused of rape multiple times. The whole story is worth a read, b...

Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case
The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan ...

Did Ex-NFLer Will Allen's Alleged Ponzi Scheme Prey On Jack Johnson?
The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a complaint against Will Allen, a cornerback who played for the Giants, Dolphins, and Patriots—not to be confused with former Steelers safety Will Allen—accusing the NFLer of running a Ponzi scheme with a Florida woman. ...

This Is Not How You Throw Back A Home Run
Edwin Encarnacion homered to left to put the Blue Jays up 5-0 in the third. One Yankees fan—really not far from the field—attempted to show her disdain for the ball by tossing it back. It went poorly: ...

Dong Pizza With Mushroom Balls Makes Way To South Bend Television
South Bend NBC affiliate WNDU covered bigoted pizzeria Memories Pizza on its evening newscast tonight, highlighting the hundreds of thousands of dollars anti-gay extremists have donated to the restaurant’s GoFundMe campaign as well as the vandalism that tolerance-seeking enthusiasts have posted to M...

The Knicks Were Sadder Than Usual Last Night
The Knicks fell to the Nets, 100-98. I hope you didn’t watch, because the destination sure as hell wasn’t worth the journey. The Knicks are 47 games under .500, while the Nets are 34-40 and in playoff position. (The East is unwatchable.) ...

Yeah, Dustin Byfuglien's Going To Be Suspended For This
"Violent, deliberate," is how Rangers coach Alain Vigneault described Dustin Byfuglien's cross-check to a prone J.T. Miller. "Could have broken his neck. It was one of the most vicious cross-checks I've seen this year."...

Robert Kraft Takes Stand In Aaron Hernandez Trial, Explains His "Work"
An under-the-weather Bob Kraft was called as a witness in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial this morning, and he had some trouble explaining to the prosecutor exactly what it is he does for the Patriots. ...

Small Child: Cam Newton Is Not Elite
Out of the mouths of babes come blistering takes....

The Knicks' "Plan" Still Sounds Dumb As All Hell
And now the Knicks season is about butts. ...