new Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Jackson Gets Mad At Perfectly Legitimate Criticism
The New York Knicks aren't a very good basketball team, and at times this season they have clearly struggled to implement coach Derek Fisher's version of the triangle offense. When asked by reporters about the Knicks, this led NBA commissioner Adam Silver to direct some light teasing their way. Via ...
Try Again, Tirico
Buttfumble chanteuse Mike Tirico came into tonight's game expecting to see Michael Vick behind center for the Carolina Panthers. We don't know why! ...
Which Guitar Solo Should You Fuck To?
Music makes sex even awesomer. But while there's a genre for every type of inter-personal physical expression, it's less clear how to match your accompaniment to specific sex durations. We're here to help....
We Have To Talk About Carmelo Anthony's Hat
Carmelo Anthony wore this hat during his postgame interview on Friday night, and boy, is it a hat. It's debatable whether acid-washed pork pie hats are a real thing, or if Anthony created this in a laundry accident that involved a lot of bleach....
Drew Brees's Fumble Was The Most Disastrous Play Of Week 10
Drew Brees made several big plays to will the Saints into overtime and give his team a chance at beating the 49ers. But in overtime Brees was sacked and fumbled, which led to San Francisco's game-winning field goal. The fumble was the detrimental play of the week according to data from Brian Burke...
Looks Like Everything Is Going Great For The New York Giants
Have you ever seen such joy? ...
Big Ben And The Jets Tried To Out-Suck Each Other
Ben Roethlisberger came into today's game on a historically great run, having thrown for a combined 12 touchdowns and 862 yards in his last two games. Because the Jets suck, everyone on earth expected them to get carved up today, and then Big Ben went and crapped the bed. But that didn't stop the ...
Mike Vick Leaves Steelers CB In A Pile. His Brother Has Some Thoughts.
Hey, a Jets highlight. Michael Vick isn't dead yet! Watch him burn the dregs of his youth as he clowns Steelers cornerback Brice McCain on a run....
Two Fumbles In Final Moments Doom No. 3 Auburn
Auburn, so routinely a team of preposterous miracles, has just managed to bumble its way to a come-from-behind loss tonight at Jordan-Hare Stadium, where the Tigers hadn't lost since 2012. Three weeks after Alabama burned Texas A&M to the ground and salted the earth for good measure, the Aggies, los...
Figure Skaters Crash Into Each Other's Faces; One Later Busts Ass
At the Lexus Cup of China, the International Skating Union's Grand Prix of Figure Skating, there was a real humdinger of a bell-ringer between China's Han Yan and Japan's Yuzuru Hanyu in warmups. YouTube shows both men gliding backwards at concussion-ready speeds and turning into one another, chin...
Baylor Wins In Norman For The First Time As Sooners Fans Lament
Baylor kicked the unholy dogshit out of Oklahoma today, a turn of affairs that many Sooners fans, raised to believe in lasting hierarchies of college football, simply cannot countenance. And how can you blame them? For generations, the people of the allegedly great state of Oklahoma have relied on...
High School Football Reporter Films Entrance, Gets Mauled By Team
Newspaper reporter Ed Castro was on the scene last night for Arrowhead Christian Academy's (Redlands, Calif.) home game against Western Christian. He had the ideal spot for getting video of ACA's tunnel entrance, up until the moment when he did not....
Disneyfied NFL Logos Are The 2014est Thing Of 2014
Here's some news from the Internet. [Designer] has reimagined all [30-some] logos of [powerful sporting league] teams to correspond to [popular culture trope or foreign sporting league]. Also, you'll notice that [particular sporting franchise] now has the look of [Disney princess whom online quiz sa...
Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...
How Man-Child Tight End Rob Gronkowski Revived The Patriots' Offense
Rob Gronkowski—whose skull houses one 14-oz. official NFL "The Duke" football, and whose circulatory system is chiefly responsible for the delivery of Natural Light—has been incredible for the last few weeks. Tom Brady's missed his best receiver at full speed, and they're making up for lost time. ...
Alex Rodriguez Peed On My Floor, Says Wife Of A-Rod's Cousin
We can't be much clearer than that headline. Carmen Sucart, wife of A-Rod's cousin Yuri, says a few years back, Rodriguez once came to the Sucarts' house (that A-Rod gave to them) and threatened them to keep their mouths shut about his performance-enhancing drug use. Then, he peed on the floor as a ...
Michael Kay Screams And Rants About Mike Francesa And Integrity
Yankees play-by-play announcer Michael Kay was fuming at radio host Mike Francesa yesterday on his radio show, and called out the Sports Pope after Francesa suggested YES controlled what Kay could and couldn't do....
Ole Miss's Athletics Director Is A Smarmy Fuck
Ole Miss athletics director Ross Bjork has written a letter to the editor of the Opelika-Auburn News, which caught a lot of shit this week for running a photo of Ole Miss receiver Laquon Treadwell suffering a season-ending injury during Saturday's game against Auburn on its front page. Bjork's lette...
Plane Flies "Fire John Idzik" Banner Over Jets Practice
Everything is really going swimmingly in Florham Park, huh?...