new Page 335 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jonathan Vilma Sues Marlins For Allegedly Ruining His Barbecue Stand
Baseball season's almost over, so we've got precious few chances left to make fun of the Miami Marlins organization before it disappears from our consciousness for the winter. What are the Marlins up to today? Oh nothing, just getting countersued by NFL linebacker Jonathan Vilma for allegedly fuckin...
Why Do Tennis Players Say "Come On!" So Much?
On Tuesday, in front of a small crowd at Arthur Ashe Stadium, the inconsistent Serbian Ana Ivanoivc had an early lead on Victoria Azarenka in the fourth round at the U.S. Open. At the end of a 14-shot rally late in the first set, Ivanovic slapped a weak forehand into the net. ...
Even After Seven TDs, Peyton Manning Can't Escape John Elway's Shadow
According to the Columbus Dispatch, it was ol' No. 7 who put a historic hurting on the Baltimore Ravens last night. There's never really a good excuse for mistaking John Elway for Peyton Manning, but this definitely shouldn't happen the morning after a record-setting performance like the one Manning...
"Iron Stan" Wawrinka Blows Out Andy Murray In US Open Quarters
So, who had Stan Wawrinka in straight sets, 6-4, 6-3, 6-2 over defending U.S. Open champion Andy Murray? That's what just happened....
The Bryan Brothers Quest For Golden Slam Ends In Semifinals
The Bryan Brothers, two wins away from winning the golden Grand Slam, lost today in the men's doubles semifinals to Leander Paes and Radek Stepanek, 6-3, 3-6, 6-4. Bob and Mike Ryan were on the verge of becoming only the second men's doubles team to win all four Grand Slams in a single year. It happ...
Reds Run Suicide Squeeze With Two Outs In The 15th Inning
Dusty Baker called for a suicide squeeze with two on and two out in the 15th inning and guess what? It didn't work. The Cardinals took the lead the following inning on a Matt Adams home run and defeated the Reds 5-4....
Columnist Amazed College Football Players Aren't Scumbags
That is the major takeaway from this overcooked word-soup from Rick Reilly. Sure, he bizarrely shoehorns George Zimmerman into an article about "young, urban athletes" who were neither murdered nor murderous, but the real gist of this column is that Rick Reilly is fucking shocked that those four kid...
Fan Writes Letter To Pelicans Asking For $1 Million Contract
I know what the jerseys look like, but the Pelicans are a real NBA team. With professional players and everything. You can't just get a job by writing them a polite, poorly spelled letter—hold on, did you say you're better than LeBron and "Kobie?"...
Why Your Team Sucks 2013: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here....
Why Your Team Sucks 2013: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here....
Here's Why Federer And Nadal Have Never Played Each Other At US Open
Two days ago, Serena Williams was told that two great rivals, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, have never played each other at the U.S. Open. ...
Anchor Inserts Pro Wrestlers Into Sportscast—Can You Catch Them All?
Via Awful Announcing, this is WHAS-Louisville's Adam Lefkoe livening up a sportscast by inserting the names of pro wrestlers. Sometimes they're subtle. Other times, not so much....
Don't Give The Kid That Baseball, Exhibit No. 3,328
Children are grabby, grubby little monsters who take and take and take and how do they thank you? By flinging your good will out of the upper deck....
Where Have You Gone, Mickey Mantle?
I'm in a taxi, trying to get to Yankee Stadium. I'm late and I've got my uniform on. But when I get there the guard won't let me in. He doesn't recognize me. So I find this hole in the fence and I'm trying to crawl through it, you know? But I can only get my head in. I can see Billy and White and Yo...
Roger Federer Upset (Again) At US Open
And once again, Roger Federer is out prematurely at a Grand Slam. Federer was upset in the 4th round at the U.S. Open tonight to Tommy Robredo, 7-6, 6-3, 6-4. ...
Jets Sign Handsome, Bad QB To Temporarily Replace Handsome, Bad QB
The Jets weren't satisfied with their quarterbacks after the cutdown to a 53-man roster, so they made another move Monday, signing Brady Quinn....
Football Player Charged With Attempted Murder After Fleeing Drug Bust
Five members of the Minot State Univeristy football team—a D-II team—have been suspended following arrests on drug charges Friday night. One of the players faces charges of attempted murder after allegedly knocking one police officer unconscious....
Reports: Only A Matter Of Time Before New York Turns On Geno Smith
Reports out of the various shit-stirring tabloids in New York are that Geno Smith will take over as the New York Jets starting quarterback. Depending on the report, the Jets either planned this all along, or only made the move because Sanchez is injured and they don't want to yank the rookie quarter...
The Return Of Johnny Manziel: Counting Money And Refusing Autographs
Johnny Manziel returned to action this afternoon after his half-game suspension and quickly started making noise. After a 23-yard touchdown pass in the third quarter—which put A&M up 38-21—Manziel seems to celebrate by counting theoretical (spiritual?) cash. ...