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Why A Former ESPN VP Filed A Pre-Emptive Lawsuit Denying He Masturbated In Front Of Erin Andrews
Last month, ESPN announced it was eliminating its bi-coastal, 25-person Content Development department, which was responsible for the network's 30 for 30 series, among other things. The head of the group, Keith Clinkscales, ESPN's senior vice president for content, development, and enterprise, left ...

Peyton Hillis Is Sorry He Crushed The Spirits Of 50 Children On Halloween, But It Wasn't All His Fault
Peyton Hillis, the Browns injured running back and Madden cover boy, was supposed to attend a Halloween party for some 50 children from the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club on Monday. But he didn't. And he says it's because he got "misinformation" that resulted in a "miscommunication between me and th...

If You Knock On Her Door At 6 A.M., Serena Williams Will Retreat To Her Panic Room
"Serena Williams fled to the panic room in her Los Angeles mansion when she mistook a sports association drug tester for a dangerous intruder." Also notable: Serena Williams has a panic room. [NY Post, via TMZ]...

Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...

Matt Barnes And I Would Like To Clarify That Neither Of Us Are Dating Eva Longoria
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: we would like to categorically deny these pernicious, unfounded rumors....

At 2:16 This Afternoon, John Beck Got Sacked Again
That's when the NFL sent out their weekly stat corrections, upping the number of times the Bills brought down Beck to 10. Nick Barnett and Danny Batten share credit....

This Is What ESPN.com Under Attack Looks Like
The #occupytebow comment feed over on ESPN's now-regrettable post, "Time for Elway to think post-Tebow," is still going after three days. If anything, it's only gotten more spirited. You can watch in real time on the post, but we also went ahead and captured a bit of the glory for those of you who...

ESPN.com Moderators Launching Tet Offensive Against "X > Tebow" Right Now
Go to the Tebow column's comments, and make sure you've got it set to "live." You can see the poor mods deleting every single "X > Tebow" comment in real time. They've worked their way back to yesterday, but still have a day and a half more to go....

What Do NFL Scouts Think They Know About Quarterbacks?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Lokomotiv Yaroslavl Plane Crash Was Due To Pilot Error, Drugs, Shitty Working Conditions
Russian aviation watchdogs announced their findings in a two-month investigation into the crash that wiped out an entire KHL team. Despite an aging airplane that had raised numerous safety red flags, the accident is chalked up to pilot error. But it's operator Yak-Servis who takes most of the blame....

Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...

It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....

Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...

Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...

How Contempt For Tim Tebow Caused An ESPN.com Commenter Revolution
The ESPN.com comment section is a den of iniquity and misspelling, and for the world's largest sports site, it's curiously inessential. The open registration means the discourse tends toward lowest common denominator, and it's too big to engender much sense of community. But once in a long while the...

BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...

Erin Andrews Struggles With Math Concepts
Erin Andrews made a trip to Baton Rouge and toured LSU's football facilities as part of ESPN's "SEC All-Access" series. As you might expect, it's not exactly hard-hitting. In the above clip, we're treated to an especially vapid discussion of how much coffee LSU head coach Les Miles consumes in a d...

There Is No D In Toledo: Here's All 123 Points From Last Night's MAC Matchup In 123 Seconds
The MAC nursed a Halloween hangover and showed up to work dressed in a defense-phobic WAC costume as Northern Illinois beat Toledo last night 63-60, the highest-scoring regulation game in conference history. It was a score more familiar to NBA fans, watching because there were no NBA games on the ...