nf Page 1008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gregggggg Easterbrook Is 5,000 Years Old
The coming return of the NFL means it's time for yet another season of ESPN columnist and Christian Mr. Spock Greggggg Easterbrook writing 50,000 words about how smart he is and how stupid and ungrateful the rest of the world is. And, as a bonus this season, Easterbrook is now really old and out of ...

Football Back! Rex Ryan Smash!
Jesus, Rex, It's the first preseason game. Greg McElroy was in at quarterback....

He Turns Water Into Wine, But He Still Can't Throw A 15-Yard Out
Your morning roundup for Aug. 16, the day the view from a diving board made us piss our speedos. Photo via Last Angry Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....

Tom Brady Says He'll Never Get Over That Jets Loss
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Brady really, really hates losing....

Oh, Look. Mark Sanchez Is Shirtless In <em>GQ</em> Again.
Your morning roundup for Aug. 15, the day after we learned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have moved on to a life of crime. Photo via GQ. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Plaxico Burress Talks About What Happens When You Shoot Yourself
Here's one choice selection from an HBO "Real Sports" segment on Jets WR Plaxico Burress, who shot himself with an unlicensed handgun in a Manhattan night club on Nov. 28, 2008:...

Broncos Kicker Charged Criminally With DUI, Morally With Ditching A Strip-Club Worker In A Hotel Lobby
Word out of Denver this morning indicated that Broncos kicker Matt Prater was charged with drunkenly backing his Chevy TrailBlazer into a silver sedan parked outside of a Hyatt Suites in Greenwood Village last week. Witnesses reported the driver then went into the hotel, which is where things get s...

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...

SWAT Team Called To Home Of Former Patriots And Notre Dame Defensive Coach
"A SWAT team has responded to the Northbrook Shores subdivision in Granger after shots were reportedly fired inside at a home in the 10000 block of Glynwater Ct. This was originally called in as a domestic dispute just before 1 p.m. A neighbor told WSBT the home is owned by Corwin Brown, a former N...

If You Want More Info About Brandon Marshall's Stabbing Or Non-Stabbing, Today's Your Lucky Day
The South Florida Times, a publication that prides itself on "Elevating the Dialogue," went ahead and got its hand on all sorts of paperwork about an April 23 incident at Dolphins WR and all-around good guy Brandon Marshall's house. You remember, the law said his lady stabbed him but he decided not...

Your NFL Preseason Games Open Thread
And so it begins, with the "games" for which ownership demands you pay full ticket price to ensure regular-season attendance, but they're not really games at all. They're practice sessions at which understudies replace the stars just after the performance begins. If not before that....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Ray Guy's Three Super Bowl Rings Ended Up Being Worth $96,216
Old Raiders punter Ray Guy went bankrupt. So, a judge told Ray Guy to sell off the hand jewels he received for participating in Super Bowl victories over the Vikings, Eagles and Redskins. No word on who made off with the rings via Nate D. Sanders Auctions — "Sorry, I can't disclose the winning bidd...

Bryan Stow's Family: He's Showing The "Most Response" He's Shown Since The Attack
On the day that the two men charged with savagely attacking Bryan Stow outside Dodger Stadium in April pleaded not guilty — and officials announced the woman who drove them away from the scene won't be charged — Stow's family posted an uplifting update on their website. Here's part of it:...

Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...

More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....