nf Page 1013 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....

Here's The Trailer For <em>Borderline Beast</em>, Upcoming Movie About Brandon Marshall's Personality Disorder
Brandon Marshall: Borderline Beast is probably not coming to a theatre near you, unless you happen to be staying in Pat Bowlen's house while he loops the film to vindicate himself....

Plaxico Burress Will Resume His Career In The City That Incarcerated Him
Former Steelers and Giants WR Plaxico Burress has signed a one-year deal with the Jets. Burress did 21 months in prison after he shot himself in the leg at a club, but he wasn't wearing sweatpants. ...

Here's One Surefire Way To Ensure Your Franchise's 51st Year Since A Championship Will Not Be A Charm
"The Dream Team." The Dream Team?! Not even a week into an abbreviated camp. With your best receiver holding out. Yep....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

When Tom Met Chad: Love Blossoms At The Patriots Camp
Tom Brady met his new wide receiver today. ...

Even The Chili Is Considering Cutting Ties With The Bengals
"Gold Star Chili seems to be questioning their sponsorship as the 'Official Chili of the Cincinnati Bengals' ... In the 5 question survey, which you can take here, Gold Star cites some pretty convincing evidence that would lead one to beleive [sic] that the company's major sponsorship of the Bengal...

All Too Good, And Not Good Enough: What Carlos Beltran Meant To The Mets
Carlos Beltran was not a New York Met. I don't mean this literally — Beltran's Mets career spanned six and a half seasons, from 2005 until yesterday. He was with the Mets almost exactly as long as Keith Hernandez was, and longer than Reggie Jackson was with the Yankees....

This Evening: Hideki Irabu Highlights Are In High Demand
Your p.m. roundup for July 28, the day we learned only losers live in Brooklyn. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Hurry! Andy Reid Is Trying To Get Away!
Your morning roundup for July 28, the day we kept getting hit with popcorn while trying to talk. Photo via @Jeff_McLane. H/T to Michael for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Michael Vick Loses An Endorsement Deal, And Not Because He Killed A Bunch Of Dogs
Just two weeks ago, Vick signed a deal to be the face of EnerJel, a nutritional supplement/energy boost that you can rub into your skin. Because swallowing Gatorade was getting too difficult. But this was a product whose time has come, and Vick was clearly the only man who could bring it to the mass...

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

Jeff Saturday On Hugging It Out
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Colts and Patriots, sitting in a tree....

The Bengals Invite Carson Palmer To Retire
Back in January, former No. 1 draft pick Carson Palmer informed the Cincinnati Bengals that he would "contemplate retirement" if ownership refused to honor his request for a trade. At a press conference today, Bengals owner Mike Brown invited him to begin his contemplation:...

Guess Who Arrived First For Broncos Practice Today?
At 8:01 this morning: "Tim Tebow. Of course." [@AdamSchefter]...

Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today
The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain cos...

Rex Ryan Couldn't Wait To Boost And/Or Undermine Mark Sanchez
There's going to be football after all, which means there will be the New York Jets, which means it's time for people to start worrying and wondering about Mark Sanchez again. What can we expect this year from the young fellow who inherited the title of "New York football hero," scare quotes very mu...

You Know, Baseball Really Needs To Do More To Protect Its Umpires
Your morning roundup for July 25, the day we learned of the Russians' plans to invade a beach in Brooklyn. H/T to Dave Littlefield for the video, though we kinda wish it had been from the real Dave Littlefield. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Marv Levy Says His Novel About A Bunch Of Rigged Super Bowls Is Totally Fictional, OK?
Former Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy has written a forthcoming novel, presumably to ride the sinusoidal arc of American letters back upward....
