nf Page 1038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....
Shut Up And Stop Being Humble, Devin Hester
After breaking the NFL record for return touchdowns, Hester took the podium and before any questions were even asked, emotionally thanked his coaches and teammates. I know he's got to do it, but c'mon. He's earned the right to brag....
They're Finally Taking A Shotgun To The Metrodome
"Engineers at the Metrodome in Minneapolis used a shotgun Monday afternoon to rupture a roof panel that was under stress from accumulated ice." [Pioneer Press]...
Exit, Pursued By A Bear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Security At TCF Stadium Too Goddamn Cold To Stop Pant-Dropping Fan From Breaking Huddle
No guaranteed seating, no booze, no security, and now it's pants-optional? Also! Joe Webb. Roger Goodell must be thrilled to have made the trip to Minneapolis this evening....
Here's Your "Total Snowclipse Of The Favre?" MNF Open Thread
Brett Favre will start against the Bears tonight. And in the next two weeks, Roger Goodell will announce the results of the Jenn Sterger investigation. The conspiracy theories have arrived, and the race for some-stab-at-restored-glory has only just begun....
Gregg Easterbrook Is Still A Putz
Here are four sentences from last week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column (or as I like to call it, יום שלישי הקוורטרבק בוקר). They are remarkable in that they pile stupidly on top of one another like a litter of puppies....
Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Seahawks Fan Hit By Jet's Giant Snowball Wants Some Money
You'll recall the Jets being pelted with snowballs by the Seattle crowd, when Shaun Ellis decided to return the favor. Two years later, a fan has decided to sue....
A Heartfelt Essay From An Eagles Fan About Yesterday's Win Over The Giants
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!...
A Heartfelt Essay From A Giants Fan About Yesterday's Loss To The Eagles
The Giants broke me yesterday in much the same way Ernest Hemingway described going broke: Slowly, then all at once. I can't read any papers today or turn on the radio. I've been snippy with coworkers who dared share their sympathies....
This Is Like 20 Times Worse Than The Sal Alosi Trip
Quietly, the NFL fined Carolina's Tyler Brayton $15,000 for setting a moving screen on an Atlanta gunner last week. That's less money than Alosi, and no suspension, so the NFL's consistent record of inconsistent punishment continues....
Weekend Winner: Philly, Now Better Than New York At Everything, Including Dog-Pun Headlines
This is today's New York Post cover. For the sake of comparison, this was the Philly Daily News's cover back in September. Yeah, the Post should've just punted that shit out of bounds....
Peerless Price Is Not Exactly In Hiding
The I-Team had received a few cryptic reports on Peerless Price's whereabouts, after we put out a call to help this nice attorney who's trying to foreclose on his house. But I think we were able to pin him down....
Here's A Photo From Today's Eagles/Giants Game Coverage (Updated With Videos)
Blow 21-point lead, lose to Eagles on punt return on final play [New York Post]...
Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
The NY Jets play Pittsburgh today. Even Franco Harris will be rooting for Rex Ryan after watching the infuriatingly horrendous attempt at humor below, brought to you by the fine people at the Eagle Tribune....
Charley Casserly Seems To Think The Jets Tried To Alosi The Bengals, Too
Here's video of "NFL Today GM" Charlie Casserly discussing Tripgate on today's pregame show, complete with Zapruder video from Week 12 against Cincinnati, brought to you by Domino's Pizza. ...
Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
The Jacksonville Jaguars can build a two-game division lead with two games to go should the beat the Indianapolis Colts. Considering they've already beaten the Colts this year, this is a clinch-worthy deal. [Jacksonville.com]...
Bernard Hopkins Wins, Loses And Draws In The Same Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
You Must Call Him Starting NFL Quarterback Tim Tebow Now, Bitches
ESPN's reporting that "sources" told "NFL Insider" Adam Schefter that Tim Tebow will start tomorrow's Broncos game against the Oakland Raiders. G(o)od vs. (D)evil. [ESPN, 12-18, 4:25]...
Late Addition To The Weekend's NFL Schedule
Venezuelan tipster Wael S. sent this photo in this morning. It leads to an intriguing question....