nf Page 1052 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Barry Bonds Redemption Tour
So Barry Bonds wants to be a hitting coach. To most of America it's a ludicrous notion, until he returns to AT&T Park for pregame festivities, and we see just how beloved he still is in San Francisco....

Please Don't Give This Tiny Ron Washington Cocaine For Halloween
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Uribe's Homer Helps Lead Giants To Game One Victory, California Smokers To Free Doobies
A medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco is offering patients free joints every time a Giant hits a home run in the World Series. Commendably, Tim Lincecum was still in the dugout immediately following Juan Uribe's fifth-inning blast....

Your "Not Cowboys-Niners" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
Lee/Lincecum is yet another matchup of aces. Maybe this one will produce the 20 innings of scoreless ball that assorted Halladay/Sabathia/Price/Liriano matchups failed at. This Rangers fan who quit his job to watch the series is hoping so. Musings in comments, please....

This JaMarcus Russell Interview Is Soul-Crushing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: ex-Raider and substance abuser JaMarcus Russell....

Cablevision Might Get The World Series After All
The FCC might intervene in the Fox-Cablevision dispute as early as today, so there is hope for you yet Cablevision Subscribers Who Have Not Yet Just Bought A $5 Antenna. [@bizballmaury]...

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....

Is Brian Wilson Into Fetish Porn Or Something? A Video Investigation
In TV interview after TV interview, Giants closer Brian Wilson makes ominous reference to a masked friend called "The Machine." Who or what is The Machine? We investigate in the video below....

Romo's Injury Flips The Script, To The Secret Delight Of Cowboys Fans
With Michael Boley's spear, the narrative for the entire Cowboys season changed. And while it won't save Wade Phillips' job, it will allow Dallas fans to coast through another season and offseason of self-delusion....

Jon Gruden Once Again Drawing Abstract Penises On Nation's Television Screens
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tony Romo Is Probably Done For The Season
Romo broke his left collarbone in the second quarter against the Giants tonight after taking a hit from Michael Boley. The Cowboys are 1-4 and are now down 38-20 in the fourth quarter. Okay, Jon Kitna. It's all yours....

Bring Out The Limp: Brett Favre's Ankle Has Tiny Fractures
Yet, Coach Childress hasn't ruled Favre out for this week's game against the Patriots. Drew Magary=Rob Dibble. But Drew's job is safe. Don't worry. [NFL]...

Philadelphia's Poop Revenge Thwarted
According to The Mighty Dan Gross, a table of women asked a server to put laxatives in the food of a handful of Giants who were dining out in Philly Friday night. Perhaps it was the home team who could have used a case of the runs....

The 49ers Vs. Universal Health Care
Alex Smith flew to London to get his shoulder checked out in advance of Sunday's game at Wembley Stadium. Expect him to still be in the waiting room come the weekend. [AP]...

Brett Favre Is A Bitch
I'm a Vikings fan, so I apologize in advance for any and all homerism contained within this rant. But my team lost last night because our QB is a fucking bitch....

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wikipedia's World Series Schedule Turned Into A Homo And/Or Facial-Hair Joke
Looks like it'll be Lincecum vs. Lee in Game One when the Rangers face off against the Beards. Get it? (H/T Jason F.) ...

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Arizona at Seattle. New England at San Diego. Oakland and Denver. Minnesota at Green Bay. There's your lineup. Now, onto the real game: What insanely competitive former NFL player apparently copped to using anabolic steroids over at Reddit?...

Report: Favre Admits To Voicemails, Denies Cock Shots
According to Fox's Jay Glazer, Brett Favre admitted to NFL security that he left voicemails on Jenn Sterger's phone, but denied that he sent her photos of his penis. The voicemails and the photos came from the same number, per our reporting....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Pittsburgh at Miami is probably the highlight game of this slate, right? But don't forget that Chicago is celebrating the 39th anniversary of killing a Lion....