nf Page 1056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That's Not The Ass Of Any Old Ballplayer; That's The Ass Of A Playoff-Spot-Clinching Ballplayer (NSFW-ish)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pete Carroll Cannot Believe The Chargers Kept Kicking To Leon Washington
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: perfectly adequate NFL coach Pete Carroll....

NFL Superperson Ray Lewis Runs with the Bears. Well, a Bear.
And the bear matches the superperson stride for stride. Then it smiles. Then it talks! Then something blows up. Even though they just ran the length of a football field, the bear and the superperson smell fresh and snappy because of Old Spice Showtime Deodorant....

Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

Tony Dungy Still Furiously Beatifying Himself
Coach Moral Compass checks in on the Braylon Edwards situation and says, approximately, "If I'm Rex Ryan, I light the collective bargaining agreement on fire and blow my nose with the Wagner Act." [Larry Brown Sports]...

Shaun Smith Can't Stop Grabbing Guys' Packages
A week after the Chiefs DE was accused of, erm, manhandling Cleveland's (The Secret World Of) Alex Mack, San Fran's Anthony Davis comes forward to show on the doll where Smith touched him. "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?" Right....

Getting Around Local NFL Blackouts, The Fun And Illegal Way
This is the story of a bar with a modicum of computer knowledge, and a dream. That dream: to watch the Buccaneers get massacred, even though the game wasn't sold out and therefore not shown on local Tampa television....

Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

David Beckham Doesn't Like Getting Taunted About Hookers
Some heckler got all "Stop with the prostitutes'" yell-y at bare-chested David Beckham after he and the L.A. Galaxy lost to the N.Y. Red Bulls on Friday night....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
The lineup: Indianapolis at Denver; Washington at St. Louis; Philadelphia at Jacksonville; Oakland at Arizona; San Diego at Seattle; and, later, NY Jets at Miami....

Your NFL Early Games Early Thread
The best early games? Atlanta goes to New Orleans while both Dallas and Minnesota try to avoid an 0-3 start (versus Houston and Detroit, respectively)....

Albert Haynesworth: I'm Not "A Slave Or Whatever" to Redskins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mike Singletary Doesn't Handle Criticism Well
Remember that whole "Mike Singletary Doesn't Much Like Talking" post from seven days ago this very minute? Fine, refresh yourself....

If Drew Brees' Wife Brittany Goes Into Game-Day Labor, She's On Her Own
So, 60 Minutes will feature Drew Brees tomorrow night. The segment includes an interview with Jeremy Shockey, thus totally screwing anybody who said "I'll tattoo 'Berzerker' on my forehead if Jeremy Shockey ever gets on 60 Minutes."...

N.Y. Daily News Still Pissed At Flyers Fans Who Booed Grizzly Mom
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ryan Mallett Is A Big Fan Of Erin Andrews, Sadomasochism
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Hack ESPN Fantasy Football To Get Any Player You Want (Update: Fixed)
ESPN's is the second most popular fantasy football site, with more than 6 million users. So it's a huge problem that a gaping flaw exists, allowing you to change the rosters of any team in just minutes. Here's how to do it....

Did You Know Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now? Because Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: retired quarterback Kurt Warner....

Dexter McCluster: Not Gangsta
Hmm. Well. Hmm. This is something. I think this public service announcement will only result in reminding me to drop McCluster from my fantasy team. [Pitch Weekly]...