nf Page 1061 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 3
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 3: a total "shit"-fest featuring a stirring comeback by "fuck."...

Big Ten Divisions To Split Up Michigan And Ohio State; 7th Seal Opened
AIR RAID SIRENS! STORIED BUT INSUFFERABLE PROGRAM NOT GUARANTEED TO FACE EQUALLY STORIED, EQUALLY INSUFFERABLE RIVAL EVERY YEAR! [Washington Post]...

Dolphins Scour Field For $50,000 Earring
Ten players were on their hands and knees, poring through the grass for a 2.5 carat diamond earring that belongs to DE Kendall Langford. That'll lower his bling rating in the next Madden update. [AP] [UPDATE: Ochocinco weighs in]...

FAVRE GIVES FAVREXCLUSIVE FAVREVIEW, SAYS FAVRESOLUTELY FAVRETHING
His eyes have been a little dry lately, and he's probably going to get them checked out. Other than that, he's cool. The end. [FavreHouse]...

Nothing's More Metal Than A Nice Pinot Grigio
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Underwear-Clad Man In Brutal Wiffle Bat Beatdown
Donald Fehr (not that one) "was severely beaten with a plastic Wiffle bat when he refused to put on clothes." I mean, that's the risk you run. [AP]...

Have Rewards Points From Your Favorite Team's Credit Card? Not No More You Don't
The NFL is phasing out their relationship with Bank of America, meaning any points you've earned in the ubiquitous "Extra Points" program expire in, oh, seven hours. Darn! So close to that Roethlisberger coozy. [NFL Extra Points]...

Redesign The NFL's Terrible Concussion Poster And Win Some Money
It was a noble gesture to put up this poster in NFL locker rooms, but look at it: It's boring, it's wordy, and players will never pay attention. If you can do better, there's a cash prize in it for you....

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

DeAngelo Hall Really Really Wanted A Hot Dog
The Redskins cornerback was a little hungry during his last preseason game against the Jets. So much so that he asked a fan to make a food run for him....

Broncos Fans Try To Make The Tebow Haircut A Thing
Two men wearing matching Tebow jerseys as well as matching "Friar Tuck"-style bald caps and wigs. What isn't there to like about this picture?...

Everyone Still Really Pissed At The Marlins
The outrage over the Marlins and all that money they pretended not to be making continues unabated. Meanwhile, it has occurred to Dan Le Batard that a businessman might be both good at his job and an unscrupulous shit....

Columnist Starts Rumor That No One Believes, In Effort To Prove People Will Believe Anything
Mike Wise of the Washington Post "broke" the news that Ben Roethlisberger's suspension would be 5 games. After no one took the bait, he went on the radio to explain how he was just trying to show "anybody will print anything."...

Antonio Bryant Is: The Eight Million Dollar (Invisible) Man
The Bengals cut Antonio "I guess he's pretty good, but he's been stuck in Tampa Bay, so who the hell knows" Bryant, and will owe him $8 million just for showing up to camp for a few weeks. It could be worse....

Historians Would Later Pinpoint It As A Pivotal Moment For The King Of Pop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Can Buy Bobby Hurley's Foreclosed Farm. Ask PNC How!
There are two ways to look at the Oct. 5 auction for Bobby Hurley's Devil Eleven Stables/Farm in scenic Ocala, Florida: 1) Fans can bid on a piece of Duke history or 2) Haters can finally finish squirrelboy off....

<em>ESPN The Mag</em> Story About Sister-Humping NFL Prospect Will Break Your Heart
Remember Tony Washington? The Abilene Christian lineman who mashed uglies with his sister? He went undrafted in the draft and has yet to be signed as a free agent? Why is a talented o-line prospect getting the cold shoulder from the NFL?...

Miami Mayor Joins The Marlins Pile-On
Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado, citing those Marlins' financial statements that show what the city probably should've known already, now would prefer not to spend $100 million of the public's money on a boondoggly parking garage for the team's boondoggly new stadium....

Join The Deadspin Facebook Page And Possibly Get Your Becky On
Hello again! I know I keep bugging you to join the Deadspin Facebook page, but, dammit, it's just so full of gorgeous ladies like Alexia Fortunato who are happy to engage in sexual acts with numerous readers she finds semi-attractive....

Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....