nf Page 1092 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Late Games Open Thread
See all those empty seats in St. Louis? Here's a nifty article on the shady math teams use to claim sellouts and avoid TV blackouts. I guess Jacksonville is either very honest, or not good at math. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death."...
Your Early Games Open Thread
Here it is, empirical proof that FOX thinks your desire to watch Brett Favre be Brett Favre trumps your desire to avoid Lions games at all cost. Also, enjoy that all-Florida crapfest, West Virginia. [The506]...
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens....
The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....
Playing Offensive Line Is Horrible. Jamboroo, Week 10
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Sometimes I Love Ochocinco So Much It Hurts
Even though they stopped him from sending mustard to Heinz Field, they can't stop Chad Ochocinco from rewriting the NFL rulebook. [Twitpic]...
The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com]...
The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...
A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....
I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...
Larry Johnson Raises Kansas City's Unemployment Rate By One
The Chiefs have released the unhappy running back, denying him the chance to break the team's all-time rushing yards mark. (He was 75 shy of Priest Holmes' record.) There really is no I in "public relations nightmare"team. [KansasCityStar]...
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...
Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....
San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
It's Cardinals vs. Bears in the match-up of teams we try to talk ourselves into believing are good. But they're not. Meanwhile, thankfully, the Skins game has been confined to the Zaxby's region of the country. [The506]...
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...